It's Time

Her eyes darted around the room. She wanted to smile, but that would take away too much life force from her. There would be no point, even if she did. Who would notice? Who would care? She soaked in the warmth of the dining table, not knowing when it would all go away. Jola looked down at her empty plate, wishing she could scoop up some mashed potato and gravy from the pot. She wanted to pick up a spoon and gobble the whole thing, but she couldn’t. She just watched it as it looked back at her.

Jola turned her head towards Emily and stared. Normally, Emily would have been the one to give her food but that would not happen. Everything was so different now. It had been different for the last five months, but each day, Jola felt more and more disconnected from Emily. It was like she didn’t exist anymore.

Ever since that argument Emily had with her mother, she had been distant. Emily never told Jola what the argument was about. Every time Jola brought it up, Emily just dismissed her. Eventually, Jola let it go, even though it had caused a rift in their relationship.

Today was the worst. Emily didn’t even glance at her once throughout the entire meal. Jola sighed. Look at how happy she looks without her, she thought. Her sadness transformed into anger as she watched Emily smile and laugh with her new boyfriend. Ten years of friendship, and all it took was one boy to scatter everything.

“Emily, can you please pass the cup?” Jola asked, wishing she could get it herself.

Emily turned to Jola but turned back almost immediately like she couldn’t even be bothered.

“Derek,” she said sweetly as she held her boyfriend’s arm, “tell my mom about how much money you raised for charity last week.”

Jola rolled her eyes. It was almost like Emily was doing this out of spite. How she wished she could just get up and leave. Instead, she waited. That was the only option available. Just wait until this dreadful family plus boyfriend dinner is over. So far waiting has taken five months.

***

Jola leaned against the porch, legs barely able to hold herself up. Reluctantly, she had to follow Emily as she said goodbye to her boyfriend, Derek. Goodbyes were supposed to be brief and quick all that was required was “Good and bye.” Maybe hugging was allowed, but Emily took send-offs to a whole other level. The sun could rise and set and she still wouldn’t be done saying bye. Somehow, maybe a spirit or God heard my internal cry. The farewells took less than an hour.

As the two girls watched Derek drive his hand-me-down jeep away, Jola decided it was time to release something heavy on her heart.

“So erm, Emily, I don’t know if you’ve realized but…”

A chime sound escaped from Emily’s phone. She didn’t hesitate to pick it up and completely disregard Jola. From the instant smile and giggle, Jola knew who Emily was texting.

“Isn’t it illegal to text and drive or whatever?” Jola asked, knowing Derek lived thirty minutes away.

She got no response. Eyes glued to the phone, Emily walked into the house, up the stairs, and to her room, with Jola following like a puppy with a new master. The smell of mashed potato still lingered in the air, all the way through the closed doors of Emily’s room. It kills to want something you couldn’t have.

Jola was going to explain herself again when Emily and Derek decided to facetime. Of course, they did. Emily had climbed onto her bed, while Jola laid on the cold hard wooden floor, with only the clothes on her body as a layer of warmth. From the window beside the bed, Jola could see the stars and moon. The lights danced in the night sky. Jola closed her lids and reminisced over her life before the five months. She smiled remembering her and Emily laying in the damp grass, holding hands, and watching the stars play.

In all her existence, Jola had never held another person’s hand before. She had never hugged anyone other than Emily. It hurt that her firsts and lasts were with Emily but now they felt like things that happened a lifetime ago. Tears wanted to fall from her eyes, but Emily was too occupied to make that happen.

The next best thing was to find sleep, although the laughing and giggling from the other side of the room made it nearly impossible, Jola positioned her body in such a way that the floor was comfortable. It was a new trick she learned over the past five months.

***

Another day, another chance. Jola knew she was under a time crunch. She knew the inevitable was coming soon, whether it was in a matter of months, days, hours she did not know, but the point was, it was coming. Jola wondered if Emily sensed it, too. She would have been an idiot not to, but nowadays Emily’s idiotic nature was becoming more clear.

Jola sat beside the human body covered in a blanket. The sun shone unusually bright that morning. It was almost as if it was mocking Jola. It would make sense if it did. Emily had caved in. Eleven years of promise and friendship. Jola watched Emily’s braids lay peacefully. It was the only part of her not covered by the blanket.

Ordinarily, Jola would have braided it or stoked it, but ever since Emily cave in, Jola’s freedom became limited. There were only a handful of things she was allowed to do.

“Wake up Emily,” Jola whispered into the ear of her friend, “I have something important to tell you.”

Emily began to stir a bit, removing the blanket from her face. Her beautiful auburn eyes revealed themselves to Jola. Jola stared, taking them in for a brief moment. These days, she found that all she ever had were moments.

Emily grunted, “What is it?”

Jola stoked her best friend's forehead, holding back tears that were never going to come out. She almost didn’t want to say anything, but time was of the essence. Maybe if she didn’t say it, it wouldn’t happen, Jola thought. A sob, almost doglike nearly came out from her, as she shook her head. It was going to happen. All the signs said so and it’d be better to tell her, so she would know what happened. The moment Jola opened her to speak, the door slammed open drawing the attention of both girls.

“Emily, get downstairs, your pancakes are going to get cold,” Emily’s mom said, with only her head in the room.

Emily nodded, throwing her blanket on the ground, “Jola can you please tell me later.”

“No, I can’t,” Jola said, getting up as Emily wore a sweater to go downstairs, “I have to tell you now Em, there will most likely not be a later.”

Emily turned to face Jola. Her irritated face contradicted her pajamas which had “Smile” and “Happy” everywhere.

“Jola, you work on my time, remember. When I say later, I mean later. I’m not in the mood to talk. Okay?” Emily said.

Jola tried to reach Emily’s shoulder, when all of a sudden, her hand went through her body. Instantaneously, Jola removed her hand.

“Can’t you see what’s happening Em! Don’t you care!” Jola yelled at the top of her lungs.

Emily walked out the room, without looking back and with the tiniest of voices uttered, “I don’t care.”

Jola’s eyes widened. Her mouth opened. Her body stiffened. She could feel the life force from her body evaporate. Slowly, but surely, fragments of her body disintegrated. She looked at the open bedroom door, hoping that Emily would come back. She didn’t. In her place, the tantalizing smell of pancakes tickled her nose for the last time.

The time had finally come, Jola closed her eyes, and sudden bursts of memories ran through her mind from the day Emily decided to create her, to this very moment. At last, a single tear trickled down her face.

“Goodbye Em,” she whispered with her final breath.