Oh Leader, My Leader

Hi!

How you doing. How do you do?

Do you find this summer hot?

Do you want to take a cold shower or jump into a pool.

Do you feel like soaking yourself into a tub so that the water can roll of your skin, leaving you feeling refreshed and happy?

Know, who else loved that,

Lots of people. …. a LOT.

Oh! I forgot to introduce myself,

I am your shower, More specifically the Shower head

The unsung hero of your bathroom and of your life.

The one with small holes that used to dispense hold or cold water that you used to love

You never gave me or what I delivered much thought, did you?

All you did was turn on a knob, and voila! Here came the water ready for your service

Your wish was my command.

Those were good times. Good while they lasted for those who had a shower at home.

Then that one video changed everything.

I mean, it was not just that ONE video and then that incident where people of a town stopped giving water to those who lived off the grid near their district because they needed that water to…. Water their lawns. Yes! That happened.

So, you can imagine, slowly and surely people realized that we have a WAR on our hands

And you know, what they said about the WAR?

Dead folks do'nt need water. That is how we will save this world. Or whatever is left of it.

So there was a lot of hate, especially towards those who had pools at home

Can you imagine having your own pool, and then turning away those who lived a few miles away from you because you did not have to LEGALLY give them water!

That is what the world had come to.

And that is when the LEADER rose amongst us

He said what everyone of us who had dry lips and had been using a sponge in a bucket to clean our backs once a week had wanted to say for a long time.

“WATER IS our right and anyone who has LOTS of it is the real monster.”

So anyway, there was a lot of killing and burning and crying, but we kinda got it under control after a few years.

But did not you see that commercial?

Well, look, I am not a monster. I have feelings, alright.

I did feel bad when our proud soldiers came and killed those who had stood under name for so many years. I had watched them grow.

But then I remembered, those long never-ending showers.

that is when I realized they deserved it.

I stood strong and did not bend when they hanged the entire family on my neck.

Our proud soldieries of the Leader said someone very famous and notorious had also hung himself in a prison cell using this technique and since they now knew how it worked, they replicated this with all homes that had a shower.

My friends told me, they felt bad seeing all those eye balls just staring at them, since the soldiers just left them there before burning their homes. Makes cleanup less messy, and that’s real efficiency if you ask me.

I know it is getting morbid, So, lets come back to that video that started it all.

So, the video opens with one of these monsters taking a shower in their home.

He just stands there for maybe 30 mins. Just wasting all that water.

That video made a lot of the Leader’s soldiers angry.

In the soldiers’ villages, they said, that much water could have filled over 100 pots that their mothers and sister line up from 5 AM to fill from the local goons who get the water tanker.

And here was this guy in the video just wasting all this water, because he wanted to “relax”.

Anyways, so that video went viral.

again, this is all old lingo, when everyone had that thing called phones, or cell phones as the monsters used to call it.

So, videos like that could go “viral” all over the world in a few days.

Our Leader, banned phones, and then the thing that made all their stuff go viral- The internet.

Our Supreme Leader said, Internet was the real evil. It made us unclean and impure.

And if we do not have internet, we will become pure again.

But for some reason, he chose me – The humble Shower head- as the symbol for his party.

He said I was the symbol of the monster’s privilege and by making me as his party symbol he will forever remind everyone how we got here and the sacrifices we had to make to stay alive.

But I am having something exciting news to share.

,

We have photo session coming up for the GREAT SHOWER EVENT and I need to look my best

And shall I tell you a secret – we have something special coming up for the shower ceremony.

The Leader is getting me some tweaks; I will get an upgrade.

There will be a small button and next to me, which will make the blood come out in the form of a single stream instead of so many droplets together, and and..

Looks like I got you confused on “blood,” I meant “juice”

Many in the media got real upset when they heard that we will be using human blood for our shower ceremony, so we told them we will be using juice.

Why blood, do you ask?

The Leader felt we needed a new slogan to rally the people and the party and the country.

See our old slogan was – “you took our water, so we took your life”

It was nice. Buts people got bored of it.

People need something new and exciting each year.

So, the Leader came up with a new slogan – “You drank our water, so we drank your blood”

Isn’t that clever? Do you get the connection?

Blood is just 80% water. So, we are literally taking back the water those monsters took from us.

We tested this slogan with the kids in school, and they really loved it.

They even wanted to go on the weekly hunting session where we find the monsters hiding our hills and fill up out bottles with their blood, but the Leader said we needed to protect their innocence.

But our Army has been preparing hard for this event.

The Leader gave them a Goal to fill 100,000 bottles with blood juice because we need that much to fill a tank for the shower. Luckily, they found a few towns where some monsters were suspected to be hiding. They did not have time to find out which ones of the town’s people were the monsters, so they took them all to our centers and got their juice.

We cannot take a chance of the shower event running out of juice.

It is going on to look so bad on TV and make our country and Leader look bad.

I shudder to imagine, our Leader Just waiting under me and no juice flowing on his lovely head.

We have many world leaders coming to watch this shower ceremony

These leaders really liked a good show esp. those who really support democracy!

And then we will have media from all over the world too.

So, we will need the show to run for at least 10 minutes.

10 minutes of juice flowing out of me in service to our Leader.

We have another filled tank with 50,000 bottles on standby just in case the audience wants an encore. I am sure they will.

So, I have to get going.

The Leader has asked for a “making of the shower event” documentary and I need to be there, of course

So, keep this secret, with you. OK?

Else, your juice might be coming out of me soon, and we do not want that.

Just kidding.

Thank You for your time.