Orbit

I had just finished making the bed in the guest room when the doorbell rang. To my surprise it was a girl.

 My street is quiet and hard to navigate, I only find my mailman and the occasional repair person on my doorstep. People don’t usually just stumble down here unless they have a reason. She was young, maybe early 20’s with long brown hair and matching colored eyes. She was soaking wet head to toe, but it wasn’t raining outside, the sun shined down and illuminated her face. She stared back at me for a bit and then spoke. 

“Hello, I’m so sorry I’m in a bit of trouble. Do you think I could come in?”

I wanted to say no, but I was worried about what might happen to her if I did.

“Yes of course... are you ok?” 

“Yes, I mean no I... I just need some help” She stumbled back and forth on her words.

“It’s alright you can explain when you come in”

She stepped in onto the hardwood and shed a gallon of water on the floor. Black streaks of makeup dripped from her eyes down her chin onto her chest. It’s as if she walked out of the ocean, onto the shore, and out of the beach finding herself on my doorstep.

“Let me get you a towel before you sit down” 

“Thank you” she replied “should I close the door behind me?”

“Yes please” I responded, and turned around making my way to the closet. Behind me the door creaked and then slammed. With this slam came darkness, the room completely dimmed and the air chilled. I turned to the window to see the sun was swept away by a complete overcast in a matter of seconds. The sight sent chills up my spine, leaving me uneasy at my core. 

I came back with one towel for her and one for the floor. She dried her hair, and then wrapped it around her for warmth. She was shivering, although it was humid outside. I continued back over to the door and placed the towel over her puddle, and left it to soak. 

“I’m so sorry for the mess.” she proclaimed.

“ No worries.”

This was not true. There were many worries.

“Do you mind telling me what happened?”

She was silent for a second and then,

“What a lovely house you have here”

She dogged the question with a quickness, I saw no purpose in pressuring her to answer so I went along with it.” 

“ Thank you, It’s very old. Creaks and groans with the wind like an old lady.”

She chuckled and smiled, she was very comfortable snuggled up in the corner of my couch. Her attempt to dry her hair was pointless as it soaked into my couch cushion leaving a stain the size of a steering wheel. I didn’t bother about it. 

I offered her a cup of tea for warmth, and she accepted. No milk, two sugars. While I was in the kitchen she fully laid herself out on the couch, feet on one end and head on the other. I didn’t appreciate it, I had no idea who this lady was, not even her name. But she said she was in trouble, so I let her be. 

I made my way back into the living room with two tea cups, and as I came back she sat back up. I handed her her tea cup and sat across from her. 

“I don’t think I gave you my name, I’m Rhea.” I ended the sentence with a smile in hopes she’d decided to open up.

“Hello Rhea, thank you for being so kind.” She left it completely open ended.

“Do you have a name?”

She chuckled and with her laugh came a sense of ease, not on my end but hers. She was getting too comfortable. 

“You live alone, right?”

I stared back at her for a while. Was she casing my house? Did I just willingly let an intruder into my home? I knew the answers to these next few questions would be crucial, so I thought about whether or not to lie. In the end I went with the truth. 

“Yes I do. Why?”

“This big grand house to yourself?”

 It’s not grand, two floors, two beds, one bath. Small kitchen and dining room, with the biggest room being the living room. It’s made for a young couple, or a small family but it’s not grand. It’s quaint.

“It seems big only because of the living room but the rest of the house is half this size.”

“And you don’t get lonely?” she replied almost instantly.

“No of course not, I have people over all the time and.. It’s really not that big.” 

She paused for a second, like she was anticipating her next move.

“Who used to live here with you?”

The clouds rolled over once again and the room got darker and the air colder, sending a chill up my spine. I couldn’t understand what she wanted to know, and why. I wrestled with an answer.

“Excuse me?”

“I said, who used to live here with you?”

She asked with entitlement, like she deserved to know. Like I owed her an answer, when in reality she owed me answers. I let her into my home and showed her nothing but kindness, but now she’s demanding personal information out of me?

“Who are you?” I asked with vigor.

She looked back at me with pity, as if I wasn’t the one helping her. As if she didn’t stroll into my living room demanding warmth and hospitality, like I was the one in need of saving.

“Who do you want me to be?”

I suddenly felt dizzy, like the room was a carousel spinning round and round. The sound of thunder crashed and banged and what once was a light pitter patter became a nasty thrashing storm. My head became too heavy to hold, and it fell into my hands. 

“There’s no need to be scared Rhea, I’m not gonna hurt you.”

I didn’t want to be scared, but the room felt like it was caving in on me. The speed of the wind knocked the walls down and I was bearing the weight on my back, support beams knocking each other over like domino's, window pains shattering in my ears like screams. My tears soaked through my hands as this feeling swept me up into a tornado. I was flying through the air uncontrollably, reaching out for help but only grabbing onto dust and debris. What hold did she have on me, to make my world cave in so quickly and so terribly with just her words? Who was she?

She placed her hand on top of my head and stroked my hair silently. I let her out of fear, and shame. In the same motion leaned down to my ear and whispered, ``It's me Sunray, there’s nothing to be afraid of.” 

I exhale deeply and look up. The wind slows down to a breeze and the rain regresses to a drizzle, the clouds begin to part.

“How do you know that name? Only my husband called me that name.”

She looks back at me with a smile as she holds her face in my hands, and I stare and awe. I’m not scared anymore. 

“Who do you want me to be?” 

We’d been together since we were teenagers, highschool sweethearts. We went a long distance in college and married the week after graduation. He bought this house for me, it was the first house we saw and I fell in love with it. It's been here since the 1900's, had terrible water damage and a not so great plumbing system, it felt like our home. One that we could fix and build together, to take something old and make it new and ours. He couldn't understand why I wanted such a crappy old house but he didn't care, he just wanted me to be happy. And I was, I had never been happier in my life the last six months we lived here together, building this house from the ground up together. Making it ours.  

I fell into her arms and sobbed, I missed him more than I even imagined. I was his sun, and he was my moon and together we kept each other's world in orbit. Even if everything around us was in chaos, we always pulled back to each other. Without him I was floating aimlessly, searching for a new planet to keep me grounded. But nobody had a hold on me like he did. Who this mysterious lady was,I don’t know, but to me she was him. My moon, my whole world, right here again so I could say goodbye. 

I look up from her lap, 

“I love you so much, and I wish I got the chance to say goodbye.”

She doesn’t respond or nod, she just listens closely. 

“You deserved so much better my love, and I should’ve been there to make sure of it. And I’m sorry, I’m sorry I wasn’t. I love you, so much.” 

She finally responds, “Thank you."

I wipe the last of my tears away as she begins to stand up.

“No, thank you.”

She smiles down at me, and sees herself out. When I go to look out the window to watch her walk away she’s nowhere to be found. But what I do see is the sun, breaking through the clouds shining down on me through the window. I bathe in the warmth and feel whole, knowing he's here with me.