NOW I SEE ME

The Chase...

He’s running down the bushy path, screaming and crying at the same time. His throat hurts, his head and legs too, but he doesn’t mind. He has to leave where he is right now. He can feel the trees moving with him, and although his mind tells him it is not possible, he chooses to believe it. 

“Run!!”

He hears his voice giving the instruction and he is even more afraid of what he has become. 

“It is this place. It is making me crazy” he thinks but he can’t help himself, and he feels he is forever doomed.

Melon had never known what it felt like to be alone. The first boy of three kids, he was treated specially albeit differently. He still hears the voices

“Don’t take that path Mel"

“Why wear that Mel?”

“That’s not safe buddy”…

He still hears them and even when they turn into tiny whispers, he seeks them. He remembers his childish cry for help even when he was supposed to have left it all behind, acting like a man as he moved away and began working for the Tech Company they got him.

“I don’t know what to do Mum”

“Do you think I should take that?"

"I am a little bit confused”…

Painfully he knew better but he couldn’t bring himself to let go. Deb warned him. 

“You act too dependent. Stop it for a second please…”

He remembers her pleading eyes. He remembers the tears she cried, and he also remembers the hurt he saw as she left his apartment never to return. She had not been the first, but he had hoped she would be the last. He had loved her, and he had wanted to stop but like oxygen, he was sure he couldn’t live without their support.

The thoughts roam around his head as the chase continues. He can see them everywhere. They hated him and he knew why. There was no doubt that the moment they as much as laid a finger on him, he would not survive their haunt. So he runs faster. He must get to the house. He must get in and stay even if for a second, he knows the difference it will make.

“Who are you Melon?” his college professor had asked him some years back.

“I’m a man who has a good family and is working to make them proud”

The professor had frowned his face and adjusted his glasses. He seemed unsatisfied with the answer and remained quiet for some minutes leaving Mel uncomfortable in his seat. 

“Mel-” the Professor spoke more quietly as if to himself.

“You see, I did not ask you what you have and what you’ve been up to currently. I only asked- who are you?”

He stared at Mel directly this time as if daring him to repeat the same answer. Mel more confused than he was some minutes ago when he was summoned into the Professor’s office, looked down at his shoes and kept quiet. Nearing a minute, he spoke

“Hmm..." He sputters.

"I will have to think about a better answer that will be more suitable for you sir” he replied timidly.

Just then the professor stood up and walked over to him, placing his hands on Mel’s shoulder.

“Remember not to ask anyone but yourself”, he said and opened the door signifying that he was done with him. 

Mel knew his time with the professor was over, but he could not understand the strangeness of the meeting. From then on, he had avoided the professor as best as he could, not knowing what other answer to give him, but he remained plagued by the question- who are you?

As he ran now, the question came to him. He mocked himself at the thought of his shallow answer. He mocked his inability to even give a better answer two years after. 

Thinking hard now, he was certain that the question was the only secret he had kept from them and he knew why. For a personal question as this was, they would give him the answer and make him feel it was his answer. The irony of it all made him scream even louder and blinded him from seeing the big stump of a tree that was blocking the road ahead of him. 

His huge self fell forward. He felt a sharp pain in his head first. Without looking he knew it was a thorn that had pierced his skin. The next pain he felt was his knees. He tried to get up, but it was hard. His trouser was stuck on the stump. It was torn, but not just that, the stump had scratched his leg and reopened the wound he had the previous week from mowing the compound’s lawn where he was a tenant.

With new pains on his body, he continued running. He was close to the house now. He could see the roof with the aid of the sprouting moon. From the look of it, he knew it was a full moon coming but he was not perturbed by it. He just needed to get to the house. It was safe. They would help him. They loved him, but more importantly, he needed them. He needed them so much that the thought of him not reaching the house was enough to kill him right then. He screamed, but this time it was not in fear. 

Just as he was about to take another step forward, a few metres from the compound, he saw the silhouettes of two figures standing side by side looking at him from the balcony. 

At first, he thought his mind was playing the usual trick on him because he did not doubt that if the figures were who he suspected them to be, they would come running once they saw him as he saw them. 

Unsure what their stillness meant, he decided to stop running. He maintained his stare as they did theirs and he was sure what he saw. It was just the two of them, and they had begun laughing, they pointed at him simultaneously but they weren’t running towards him. 

They knew it was him just as he knew it was them. Looking on painfully, he realized the truth. He was just a pawn to be played with. 

Without another thought, he turned back and ran even faster to those he was running from. He would let them put their claws in him. He understood their angry voices now. The words they spoke were no longer strange to him. He felt his heart tear in two at the thought of the two whom he thought loved him. He was ashamed of the years he spent believing all the lies they told. Now he was certain he’d be able to answer the professor’s question.

After...

Mel woke up with a start to the noise of pots and pans. It was the same dream he had since he stopped communicating with his parents a year ago. He stared at his wet bedsheets and rubbed his hands on his sweaty skin. He couldn’t help being sad remembering what life used to be for him while he let his parents control his life. He was free now but he was still haunted by the experience.

As he tried to sit on the medium-sized bed he recently got upon Hannah moving in with him, he got a wisp of the regular pancake aroma that he frequently woke up to in the mornings. He knew Hannah had begun making breakfast, and he couldn’t wait to taste it. 

He stepped into the bathroom to relieve himself and like was his routine in the morning, he opened the big cabinet hung on the wall to reveal a big mirror taped round at the back. He wanted to have a fresh look at himself before he began the day. 

There he was facing the mirror, looking at his 32-year-old self and loving his reflection. He was not the same man he was two years ago. Now he could answer the Professor’s question. 

Still staring at his reflection as if not knowing the man he looked at, he spoke out loud.

“I am a man of myself, created by God to do His will. I now see me the way he made me. It’s not about what I have, it’s all about who God is and how much he loves me. I like what I see. Now I see me.” With that, he walked off to the kitchen where Hannah his wife was, humming his favourite song.