Over and Over

TW: Death

Loop: 23

Around her, fireballs collided with the ground. Thunder from the fighting magic users struck buildings. Houses burned to the ground, or were dissolved with acid.

Elizabeth’s tears dropped harder than rain. Her wails were a whisper against the anxiety around her, yet powerful enough to her that it made her head spin.

In her hands were the shattered remains of a necklace. Drenched in blood, the silver button was broken to pieces, and the gem in the shape of a butterfly on it was gone, lost when she was dragged away from the body it had come from.

She couldn’t understand it. Why was this always how it went? Would this always be how it went? The necklace she had grown to love shattered into a million pieces.

No… No, she won’t stand for it.

She set the necklace on the ground and stood. Her legs wobbled her as her sniffling body tried to compose itself. She latched onto the black and blue bracelet on her right wrist as it glowed.

She closed her eyes as the world was destroyed around her.

Loop: 24

Waking up that day was always a start. She jolted out of bed with a desperate gasp as she tried to regain her bearings.

Elizabeth looked around the small room she had found herself in once again. Postures decorated the walls, and treasured objects lay about on shelves.

On the wall beside her, there was a calendar. ‘May 15th.’

She breathed as relief flooded through her. Six months, like always. Six months before her world will come crashing down. Six months before the necklace shatters.

Her home was dark and the noises she made echoed. It always started like that because while she knew it would eventually end, the shadows of loneliness clung to her shoulders throughout it all.

When heard the clock ring, she cursed to herself. Her mind had been elsewhere and she was forced to throw on some random clothes that she had and hope that it wasn’t too late for the event to happen.

Her mind was still racing as she left and had to bolt to the spot that she should’ve been in a long time ago, her breath baited as she waited for it to happen.

She tried to busy herself– To find joy in the nature that was around her home that was further away from the town of Anxious than most, yet her mind kept going back to the shattered peace of jewelry she had had in her hands.

Her nerves were at an all-time high as she looked around the area. She tried not to think about it, but her mind betrayed her.

Luckily, she didn’t need to be distracted.

She closed her eyes and took a breath, counting down the seconds before she felt a force run into her.

She stumbled back a bit but still managed to grab the girl before they both came tumbling down like the first time.

“Oh my gods–” Her words were almost predictable at this point. “I am so sorry– Are you alright, ms?”

Elizabeth opened her eyes and had to stop the tears from coming to them.

In Front of her stood a beautiful woman with soft brown eyes, and wavy-shoulder-length brown hair. Her gaze was as gentle as the breeze that passed them as they examined each other, and her face was as lovely as it was before.

Relief flooded through her at the sight of a butterfly necklace that dangled around the lady’s neck. Her grip tightened on the woman as her breath shook.

“It’s you…” The murmur slipped out before she could stop it, her heart pounded in her chest.

It was so close now– She could reach and take it. Take it away from this place– From these people. She can make it so she never has to be afraid again.

The other looked at her with confusion. “Huh– Do I know you?” She asked. Elizabeth only shook her head. “Ah– Sorry, no, I’m fine,” her voice was tense as she forced herself to let go.

She could see the other looking her over, a splash of a rosy color painted on her cheeks.

Elizabeth forced the words in her throat to come out.

“So– You are new here, I haven’t seen you around before.” The words were robotic. She had to keep the act up. She had to seem like she had no clue who the woman standing before her was.

She had to act like she didn’t lay awake at night every day, sobbing at the images she had left in her brain.

“Y– Yeah, actually! I’m a traveler who just settled here for the time being… But you’re from around here, right?” She asked, her smile wobbly.

Elizabeth’s heart squeezed. Why did it have to be like this? Why did she have to come here? Elizabeth would gladly never see the woman again if it meant that the lady would still be alive.

If only she had stopped her from coming to the village to begin with. If only she had convinced her to leave, then she would be safe.

But that can’t happen now, and now she has to deal with the fact that she can’t just stop it all from happening– She had tried once, and it ended all the same.

“That I am,” she said. 

Jessica looked down and fidgeted with her fingers. “So… Where are you off to.” “The market– There’s a sale going on and so I’m meeting with a friend. Would you like to come along and see?”

Her question was returned with a smile, “I would love to– I’m Jessica, by the way.”

Elizabeth blinked. She had forgotten that she wouldn't have known her name yet.

“Elizabeth, pleasure seeing you.”

Yet that pleasure always ended with the same sight.

Loop: 34

The world around her was far away now. She was sitting next to Jessica on a picnic table, and yet the only thing that was going through her mind this time was the memories of what happened on this very hill.

She hadn’t been sleeping well recently, plans of how she was going to go about getting to hit each of the important events in order to get the best ending possible, but avoid everything else.

The necklace around Jessica’s neck shone brightly. She needed to have it. She had to make sure that she treasured the moments she had before, but also keep it safe. She had to keep her safe.

“You know–” She looked over at where Jessica was sitting. She tucked her hair behind her ear. “I’ve enjoyed getting to know you, Elizabeth.”

The words hurt her more than anything else. What if she hadn’t enjoyed getting to know her? What if Elizabeth stopped being the reason she stayed?

She clung to Jessica, hopelessness heavy in her heart as she tried to think through what to do next.

It didn’t matter. In the end, she still cried over the shattered remains.

Loop 50:

The images of the necklace dripping in blood were burned into the lids of her eyes now. She couldn’t stop thinking about it, she couldn’t stop thinking about how it would end.

Now, Jessica stood in front of her. So strong, the necklace that hung from her gleaned in the light, despite the monsters that she faced ahead. The first wave of creatures that came was the beginning of the end for the world.

The girl in front of her turned to her with a smile, blood dripping down her face.

“I’ll protect you, Ellie– I swear.”

Frustration bubbled in her as her heart pounded. Tears brimmed in her eyes.

Because she knew she wasn’t the one that needed protecting. It was Jessica who did. It was the necklace that hung around her neck that did.

Why didn’t she understand that?

Loop 70:

She wanted to make her understand that. She needed to make sure she knew how much she needed to be protected.

The argument that they had at the coffee shop was nothing more than a fluke– Yet her anger at Jessica being so insistent that she could do this was still there.

She didn’t follow Jessica into the catacombs this time around, she planned to make it so she would be alone for a moment, then she would come in and save her.

It was just to show her that she did need to be protected.

Yet, when she got there, the necklace had already shattered.

Loop: 100

Always the same.

Loop: 125

Over and over, she watched that necklace shatter.

Loop: 150

She couldn’t stand it– Why– Why– Why–

Loop: 200

Why– Why– Why–

Loop: 275

She woke up in the next loop with tears streaming down her face. She screamed, sobbed, and threw stuff as she tried to get out the anger she felt.

It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair.

She had to understand that it wasn’t fair– She had to understand that she was only doing this for her own safety– She only wanted to protect her– To keep her safe– That’s why she did it– That’s why she took it– Took her–

In the end, she was the reason why the necklace broke.

Loop: 345

She screamed and sobbed as Jessica tried to pull out the door, insisting to her distorted girlfriend that she had to go out on a quest to find the temple.

Elizabeth clung desperately to her as the world crumbled around her. Voices from the past came back with a vengeance. She thrashed and pulled as she tried to convince her to stay– Just, for once, stay here– Stay with her, there was no need to go on this quest, there was no need to discover what that temple held.

Yet when Jess asked her why she was doing this, she couldn’t give an answer she would accept.

She tried to hold onto the necklace as the world trembled. Cracks from the repeated loops become more obvious by the second. It was crumbling to the ground and Elizabeth was trying to pick up the pieces.

In the end, it shattered all the same.

Loop: 400

She screamed and sobbed as Jessica tried to pull out the door, insisting to her distorted girlfriend that she had to go out on a quest to find the temple.

Elizabeth clung desperately to her as the world crumbled around her. Voices from the past came back with a vengeance. She thrashed and pulled as she tried to convince her to stay– Just, for once, stay here– Stay with her, there was no need to go on this quest, there was no need to discover what that temple held.

Yet when Jess asked her why she was doing this, she couldn’t give an answer she would accept.

She tried to hold onto the necklace as the world trembled. Cracks from the repeated loops become more obvious by the second. It was crumbling to the ground and Elizabeth was trying to pick up the pieces.

In the end, it shattered all the same.

Loop: 405

The world was crumbling, and she was breaking with it. She screamed and thrashed, hitting the demons that had come from the portal that had been summoned all of those times before.

Her body was shaking as she sobbed. She knew what was about to happen, even if she had tried her best to avoid it.

She wanted to be there though, she wanted to be there for the end and hold the jewelry that had grown to represent the woman she had loved for all of these loops.

She wanted to hold her. She wanted to be near her. She was the only one who could be near her, she was the only one who could understand what she was about to go through–

She was the only one.

She trudged through the blood-soaked surroundings and ran past the corpses of friends she had seen die repeatedly. She ducked as another house exploded.

“Jessica!” She called out as the sky started to fall– Balls of fire rained from it and she had to weave through the flames that burst.

That was when she saw it.

A strike of color against a world that had been crumbling for a while– A sort of lightning that could only be formed by one artifact.

She raced to the hill that she had those memories on– She passed the exploded cafe and continued to fight all the way through.

When she got to the base of the hill, her heart sank.

Rays of power bounded against each other, she watched as white cracks formed along her girlfriend's face and body. Her eyes glowed as she gritted her teeth.

She watched as the necklace broke. It was the only thing she could do as the powers ended in an explosion that covered her sight in color.

When the color cleared, the only thing she could do was look around at the ruined hill. Her heart was heavy as she slowly stepped forward, fully ready to embrace the sight of a necklace broken and bloodied by powers that had no right to be there.

Yet, that wasn’t what happened.

Her heart pounded in her chest as the air around her stilled. She watched as a body rose from the ground and stood tall.

In the disrupted dest, Jessica stood. Blood dripped down her face as she looked at Elizabeth with tears in her eyes.

As Elizabeth breathed, the corners of her mouth started to pull up, a laugh came from her throat, and water welled in her eyes.

Her tongue was numb as she tried to speak, her feet planted on the ground as she was sure she was dreaming.

Then Jessica spoke.

“I’m okay, baby.”

The words hit her like a train as a memory popped into her head.

Filled with dread, she looked behind her love.

Right in time to see another rise from the ground.

The world slowed down around her. Her heart pounded as she realized what kind of loop this was:

A final act of revenge. The demons took the one that took them out along with them.

Her love was standing in front of her– The jewelry around her neck was broken– Yet she knew it wouldn't last for long. It never did.

She couldn’t stand it. Her body moved on her own. The air made way for her. The wind that whipped by roared in her ear. Her footsteps slammed against the earth.

She saw Jessica’s face turn to confusion. She grabbed her, she wanted to hold her, to bring her close, yet instead she threw her to the side, and allowed herself to be put forth.

She took the shot of lightning meant for the person she cared for most. The person she ripped the world apart for.

A scream echoed next to her as she fell. She saw an attack thrown at the monster that shot her, exploding it with venges.

As she lay on the ground in her girlfriend's arms, the only thing she could do was smile.

The necklace was still together.

—

The months that passed by were a blur to Jessica. The image of Elizabeth’s body plagued her every waking minute. The sight of a bracelet broken from her own actions sent her mind into a spiral.

People had tried to reach out to her– To talk to her. But she wanted nothing to do with it.

In the end, she could tell that Elizabeth was different. In the end, she could feel the way that the other clung to her, so desperate for her to not do what had to be done.

In the end, she realized that her lover had grown an obsession that she could see past. She could see the fear that traced her face. She could see the fear that was laced in her tears.

She had told her repeatedly that she would protect her– That there was nothing to worry about. That everything would be fine–

So would have said anything to bring the woman she loved back, but now her actions have resulted in her losing her for good.

So I couldn't accept it.

She won’t accept it.

Elizabeth– Her sweet Ellie had tried everything to convince her not to go through with any of it– And now that her actions have been complete, no amount of crying, or talking, or healing would bring her back.

But she had to bring her back. She didn’t deserve to die. If she had just listened to her, she would still be here today. If she had just defeated that demon fully, she would be here right now.

But she wasn’t, and it was her actions that caused that.

So why shouldn’t it be her actions that bring her back?

As the necklace around her neck glowed blue, she closed her eyes and allowed for the world around her to be torn down.

When she opened her eyes next, she was in the same room that she had in her little traveling cart.

The cart she lived in six months ago.

Her breath was heavy, and confusion seeped through her as she looked around.

But when she saw Elizabeth again for the first time after that day– Alive yet scared, she knew what she had to do.

She would make sure the bracelet didn’t break.