FAMILY OF MAN FEUD

**WARNING: Religious themes**

Angel and Devil Messengers had spread word throughout Heaven and Hell of an upcoming event that had been designed to determine, once and for all, the fate of the world.

People on Planet Earth had been left to their own devices for long enough. The present polarization of life forms had proved disastrous. God and Satan had observed from their respective vantages and reached the same conclusion. Mortals simply could not figure things out on their own and it was time for drastic measures before Planet Earth was but a dim memory, a tiny blip on the radar of what once was.

Following tense negotiations, the two sides had agreed on terms. They would meet in a neutralized zone where it could be guaranteed they would not be observed or disturbed. They settled on a large track of land in New Zealand that had yet to be touched. The pristine rainforest would suit all parties.             

The agreed terms of the competition were this: God (a/k/a “Good”) and Satan (a/k/a “Evil”) would each try to sway three states of being to their way of thinking. The party succeeding in convincing two out of the three to do so would be declared victorious and the losing side would step down and back off. The fate of the world would be decided, henceforth unhindered, once and for all.

The two sides were each allowed to appoint a second to confer and assist their Lord, but they first had to call for a break. The teams were allotted no more than three breaks during the competition.  

Assigned to oversee was Archangel Raguel, the Angel of Justice and Harmony.  Archangel Raguel planned to primarily engage Justice to ensure the fairness and integrity of the proceedings, and set Harmony aside unless there arose such unsportsmanlike conduct as might call for it.

Randomly chosen was a panel of two angels and two demons tasked with the choice of three states that would participate in the challenge. The decisions had to be unanimous and would be announced at the time of the competition.   

     *      *      *      *

All was in place at the anointed hour. Spectators were limited, a mere handful. Neither angels nor demons enjoyed being in the other’s company and, as it was, kept a wide berth between them. No doubt the entire universe and its inhabitants would eventually learn the outcome.  On the other hand, this was a rare opportunity to watch history being made, or perhaps being made history.

There were platforms designed within the forest setting that showcased opposing thrones formed from trees and fragrant flowering vines throughout. A lush canopy of treetops allowed for an occasional beam of sunlight to intrude on the gathering below. There was no hint of birdsong, as if in deference to what was about to take place.

Archangel Raguel signaled it was time to begin.

“Lords, it is my honor and privilege to appear before you. The guidelines for the event have been reviewed ad nauseam and I shan’t belabor the matter.   Suffice to say, there shall be no interference. There is no question what is to be determined and I expect all present will conduct themselves accordingly. If there is any doubt whatsoever you can keep your actions in check, please exit now. No one will think less of you.”

At this, one of the devils disappeared within a puff of putrid green gas. Satan’s serpentine eyes narrowed.

The Archangel cleared his throat and sang out, “And now, let us introduce our first challenge. Lords, you are about to meet a state of being that is devoid of concern, interest of any sort and is akin to complete complacency and detachment. I present you with . . . INDIFFERENCE.”

Between the two throne areas was a large, flat tree stump covered with a patchwork of soft, colorful lichen.  In the center of this natural stage there appeared a pasty, nondescript being, expressionless and passive in its demeanor.

“Lords, you know the rules. Each of you will have unlimited time to attempt simultaneously to bring Indifference around. Ready?  Set. GO.”

God and Satan began to speak. They frequently spoke over each other, passionately pummeling their audience from all sides with words and ideas.

“God, that is I, created the world and everything in it out of love, declaring my creations good and blessing it.”

Satan’s voice took on an alluring, seductive tone. “Did God really say you should not eat the fruit from any of the trees in the garden? No. For God knows when you eat from it, your eyes will be open and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

“God, that is I, showed my love for mankind in particular by making you, they, in my image and entrusting them to be caretakers of the world.”

“I, that’s me, Satan, know how to put question marks where God puts periods. Do you? More importantly, should you? Have you a mind of your own?

“In the beginning, I created the heavens and the earth. You are my handiwork, created to do good works, which I prepared in advance for you to do.”

“It is, said I — that’s me, Satan — or more pointedly, Satan’s — that me, mine — smoke found its way into God’s temple through some crack. Do you think that could happen if I were not meant to be there? Put that in your pipe and . . . well, think about it.”

“The Lord is the everlasting God, the creator of the ends of the earth. I, God, will not grow tired or weary, and my understanding no one can fathom.”

“Really? Well, try understanding this. Can you fathom, or have you yet, your world is caving in on itself. Nice job!”

“Raguel, shouldn’t that be a penalty?” God turned to the Archangel.

Raguel consulted some notes he had brought. “It’s close, but it is allowed, Your Lordship.  You may counter, if you wish.”

“Sticks and stones, Dark One. I won’t be goaded into making personal attacks when it is the very existence of mankind hangs in the balance. Hmm, though I doubt you would miss any opportunity to recruit however many innocents you could, without conscience. Do you even recognize the word ‘conscience’? Any thought to what it might mean?”

“Oh, aren’t we the pious one! And whose bright idea was it to rain forty days and forty nights and nearly blot out existence altogether? And singlehandedly, I would add.”

“I tend to think it worked out quite well actually, when viewed with an impartial eye. Served the purpose, you might say. How about implementing a little hindsight yourself? You think you know so much, why must I clarify everything for you?”

“Ah ha! So you actually possess sufficient audacity to sit there, reclined on your throne, and pretend all is as planned? Congratulations on a job well done? I tend to believe there’s a touch of dementia at play here, Great Almighty.  You may want to rethink that title, given all the evidence to the contrary out there.”

There was an audible gasp. Indifference was staring at God.

“Say something! Don’t take that from him!”

Raguel stepped in.

“Looks like we have a winner! The Lord God has managed to win over Indifference. Thank you, Indifference. That will be all.”

Indifference shrugged, “Whatever.”

POOF

 A white dove landed on the back of God’s throne, symbolizing one point earned.   Satan’s eyes flashed.

“Moving right along, the next state of being is familiar to most and a stranger to none, I give you IGNORANCE.”

The stump stage remained empty.

“As you may know,” Raguel continued, “there are four categories of ignorance among mortals. There is ignorance from limited access to information; there is ignorance from misinformation; there is ignorance due to cognitive bias.  Now, in the interest of fair play, our next guest falls under the category of willful . . .”

With a sputter and spark, there appeared a being of questionable form and substance. It appeared lost with mouth agape.

“Greetings, Ignorance. You made it!”

“Did I?”

“Remember the rules I told you?”

“I think, well, yeah . . .”

“Get on with it, will you,” Satan snarled.

“Ready. Set. GO.”

“Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them,” God began, “for the Kingdom of God, my kingdom belongs to you. The Devil’s built himself a nice little kingdom, hasn’t he? Plenty of Hellfire and brimstone charm. Design the place yourself, Lucifer?”

“Don’t flatter yourself, and do not forget I have my miracles too. I warn you, I have power. I have legions. I have it all.”

“Not all, Dark One. You lie and you forget who you spar with. You cannot touch my light; it will end you.”

“Sigh. So much babble and blather. Just who are you trying to convince? You come out spouting your myths about children? And how many have we watched suffer, perish, all in your name.”

“Your tricks are useless here. You may as well turn your attention to that rock over there for all the effect it has on those purest of heart and manner.”

“Oh, what delightful poetry, Mr. Divinity! I have my own brand of purity and it’s grown more popular than you ever dreamed, is that not so?”

“Delusion. Smoke and mirrors, all tools deigned to further your lust for destruction and damnation. If you could pull back the veil and see what you are, you’d run to me and beg forgiveness.”

“Oh, and I suppose you’d grant me forgiveness if I called you Father?”

God answered this with a smile.

Satan rolled his eyes. “Why now, goodness and mercy, bless your bleeding heart and sanctimonious soul, and excuse me while I take a moment to kiss my lucky stars while I’m at it. Aren’t you just the best thing to happen since sliced bread and indoor plumbing!”

They heard a squeal much like air escaping a punctured tire. Ignorance was pointing to Satan and holding a hand over its mouth, suppressing giggles.

“And we have a winner! Satan was able to win over Ignorance in what I’d term a close competition. Thank you, Ignorance.”

“Uhm . . .”

“Goodbye, you may go now.”

“Go?”

“Now.”

POOF

A black raven flew to the back of Satan’s throne and made itself comfortable.

Raguel resumed. “Well, this is an interesting development. We are now faced with a tie-breaking round. We have one more challenge. Ready?”

“Yes, My Son.”

“Get on with . . .”

“I call to the stage COMPROMISE.”

Silence. The two Lords looked at each other.

Following a flash of yellow light, an alert, upright being sat poised center stage, taking in its surroundings.

Raguel nodded toward the being and began, “Ready? Set . . .”

“Break! I’d like a break,” Satan raised a talon and turned to his second.

“Five minutes, Dark Lord, starting now.”

     *      *      *      *

“What do you know about this one, Malphas? I’ve never considered it. I’m not even sure what it means.”

Malphas was a popular demon whose specialty was magic and warfare, though magic was prohibited under the rules.

“Well, I may be able to surmise a little, but few in your legions have experienced or had need for it. Demons tend to be all in from the get-go, but there are some that waffled a bit along the way.”

“So how does it work?”

“Let me see if I can put this in plain terms. Compromise is like losing, but just a little.”

Satan’s eyes glowed red.

“The other side loses, too, but just a little.”

Satan maintained a low boil, listening.

“It involves a touch of self-sacrifice, My Lord, but just enough to make something you want to happen, happen.”

Satan frowned.

“But that’s stupid. I wouldn’t know the first thing how to go about it.”

“Hmm. Let’s try this. Think back to any sort of defeat you’ve. . .”

Satan glowed red hot.

“Or, better yet, say you felt a touch of disappointment for whatever reason. Right? That’s what compromise feels like. You give up a little but you gain more in the long run.”

“I still think it’s stupid.”

“That may be, Your Darkness, but if you really want to win this thing . . .”

Satan sighed.

“Is this something we should appeal? Does this give Mr. Righteous Almighty over there any sort of advantage, you think?”

“Oh, I think not, Sire. He’s over there now conferring with his second, Seraphim. He looks pretty uncomfortable to me. I doubt he’s any better at this than you are. You can take him.”

“Time’s up!” Raguel announced.

Satan grinned. “I’m ready.”

The Lords returned to their places.

“One . . . two . . . go!”

God spoke softly. “No powers exist in Heaven or on Earth to separate a believer from the love of God.”

“Well, that leaves me out, you pompous . . .”

“BREAK!”

This time Malphas had jumped in.

“Second break for Satan. Five minutes.”

     *      *      *     *

“This had better be good!” Satan stormed over to Malphas, glowing red.

“You won’t engage compromise by attack, my Liege. You must have the appearance of meeting your opponent halfway. You are otherwise doomed to fail.”

“Why can’t I just be myself? How can I be convincing otherwise?”

“Oh, come now. Have you never successfully faked anything in all your existence? I seem to recall a certain undeniable charm involving a serpent and an apple.”

“That came about using a spell. I don’t want to risk being disqualified.”

“Of course. I’m not suggesting anything other than using your legendary wiles and powers of persuasion. Seems you haven’t had much trouble getting what you’ve gone after in the past.”

“That’s true. I think I’m beginning to see what you’re getting at, Malphas.”

There was a weighty moment of silence.

“I’m ready.”

“You got this.”

“Watch me.”

     *     *     *     *

Satan jumped right in.

“I was thinking, there may exist some common ground here. I don’t see why we couldn’t work together and come up with a solution to fit both our goals.”

“And we know that for those who love God – me – all things work together for good, for those who are called according to their purpose.”

“Another way of saying each unto their own; have I got that right? And have I not been a champion of letting those whose paths I encounter exercise all that free will that you never lifted a finger to stop them from obtaining in the first place? Just what was the Tree of Knowledge doing in the Garden anyway? What were you. . .”

Satan could hear Malphas urgently clear his throat.

“Or . . . put differently, if we stopped pitting ourselves again each other, would we not have a better chance at helping to save Earth and its inhabitants?”

“And since when, Lucifer, have you had any interest in saving anything or anybody outside of . . .”

They could both hear Seraphim, God’s second, cough.

God chuckled, shaking his head. “You know, I keep forgetting your name was changed to Satan. Satan means “adversity,” and what is the role of adversity if not to provide contrast. Perhaps I would not be what I am without having the likes of you around for comparison.”

Compromise was listening.

Satan grinned at this. “Oh, now, do let’s be careful, Lord God. You came dangerously close just now to engaging in friendly banter. You don’t want your reputation for goodness and light sullied by teaming up with the likes of me, do you?”

“I believe my reputation could withstand even cavorting with the likes of you, a fallen angel but an angel nonetheless. How far back do we go?”

“I remember it all as if it were yesterday.”

 “As do I.”

“So, what do you say?”

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“Come, take a walk on the wild side.”

Compromise stood, applauding.

Raguel was puzzled. If Compromise was moved by both God and Satan, what did that do to the challenge? 

“We have a tie! Unforeseen, but there it is! Compromise, thank you, that will be. . .”

“Not so fast, Archangel,” God interjected. “I have an idea.”

For the first time in over six thousand years, good and evil huddled together with common purpose.  Compromise was summoned occasionally to consult. After a few minutes, God and Satan turned to address the gathering.

“Given the fact the contest has ended in a tie . . .” so began God.

“And given the fact that the two most powerful forces ever to rule since the beginning of time . . .”

“Lucifer, tone it down,” God whispered.  Compromise nodded.

“We both have decided there is not a better time than right now to combine our efforts and work together to try and fix this world. We pledge to do all within our combined powers to set things right. There’s obviously little time to waste.”

      *      *      *      *

“I’d like to make a suggestion.”

Compromise had been assigned to the two Lords to basically stay in attendance and be available for consultation when needed. This was the first time it had spoken out on its own.

“I find an effective way to begin any joint venture that’s already experienced rocky times is for both sides to apologize and take responsibility for their part in whatever went off-track. I can’t think of a better way to begin a fresh. . .”

God and Satan exchanged looks that were silently communicated between them.

“Is he kidding?”

“Is this really necessary?”

“It’s not very Lordly, is it?”

“Are you sorry?”

“Are you?”

“Well, we have a choice.”

“What is it?”

“We can humor the little guy.”

“Or?”

“Or we can throw compromise out the window.”

Both Lords laughed.  Compromise startled.

“My Lords? Is there . . .”

“Don’t go anywhere, Compromise. You’re a refreshing change.”

#ReedsyUnknown