The First Gingerbread Man

Trigger Warning: Suicidal ideation and candied violence.

I remember being made. A sting of stainless steel cut my shape from a sheet of dough and as soon I was released from its embrace, I was aware. Heat filled me next, radiating from the dark void, suffusing my fresh body with the warm air of life. Gentle hands, with a power beyond my reckoning, gifted me further senses with the painting of my features and attachment of my candied eyes. The first thing I saw when my vision adjusted to the blinding light of day was her face, Amanda; my creator, my God, my mother.

She was younger than I had imagined. The dexterity with which she had constructed my being hinted at someone with more experience in the practice of creation. For a human, she was only a child. To me, she was divine. I watched intently as she took up the mantle of Godhood and built before me a home. Forging sheets from the dough that gave me life and giggling through the process, Amanda painstakingly built a house where I would reside for the rest of my days. A sanctuary against the realm of the Gods that blurred all around. She gave me safety, security and then to my confusion, left me all alone in it.

The home I had been granted was a paradise. It’s peaked roof, complete with chimney and every tile lined in white, offered not only protection, but pride. The door and windows were open and the garden was sculpted to offer shade under the trees and seating on candy. I couldn’t have ever wanted more. The joy and light of that first day spent in the company of celestial beings stayed with me, cementing the hope that another such experience would come. In the meantime, I adjusted and settled into my every day existence. I walked the perimeter of my little world, acquainted myself with the house and its maintenance and basked in the leisure of a kept life. As time wore on, I realised I had been placed out of reach on a high shelf, where I could view the realm of humans, yet never venture out to connect with them. This was undoubtedly by design, to allow me the ability to express free will and reign my own little corner of the universe. However I could not help but feel abandoned. Days stretched long with no further guidance or intervention from my Goddess and I began to despair, looking ever outward in search of some greater meaning. 

The warm twinkle of dotted lights, draped around a colossal tree illuminated my evenings and instigated plenty of questions on how such beauty came to be. Were they another construct of my young God? Or were they the source of their power? The latter seemed most likely. Amanda surely worshipped the lights ethereal presence as much as I. The arboreal frame that was their home was frequently adored by all who inhabited our bordering dimensions and the glittering being that topped it seemed to hold the greatest power of all. It gave me much to consider. The train that ran its course around the base of this mysterious tree offered more questions. I wondered if it might be some method of transport, carrying the power of the lights to my Gods, however it never seemed to reach either destination. It simply kept to its eternal circular track. The smug look of its driver was not lost on me. He seemed to revel in the constant attention he was lauded by the humans, eyeing me with a knowing smirk that I was not equally praised. These and so many other objects of Amanda’s world perplexed and excited me, however my vigil did not consume all of my time. There was always icing sugar to sweep, jelly weeds to pull and chocolate drops to straighten, so the days began to pass with increasing speed.

Eventually my patience was rewarded. I awoke to sunlight streaming in open windows and a freshly spiced smell upon the air. Knowing all too well the warm aroma of my own kind, I bounded outside and gazed down at a table covered in dozens of unfinished, baked cut-outs. Rubbing away the sugar grains collected in the folds of my eyelids in disbelief, I looked again and rejoiced at the sight. Amanda was already bestowing senses upon them and I watched as they took in the world for the first time. I perched on the edge of my shelf, rounded feet hanging free and bouncing with excitement. I was experiencing the birth of my race! The realisation that I had merely been the forerunner was beyond a relief. I would never again be alone. My gratitude to my Goddess overwhelmed and eradicated any doubt I had once harboured.

As she added the final piping to the children below, I stilled and my stomach dropped. Everything came crashing down before my eyes. The older Gods appeared, descending on her work and wreaking horror and death upon all. I don’t know why they did it. I can barely fathom the intent, but the older, ferocious deities…devoured them all. Barely born, still warm with creation, the helpless souls were all of them ripped apart and eaten by the very Gods who should have provided and protected. I watched in frozen shock as they bit heads free, licked faces clean and severed limbs. Eventually I was able to look away, but nothing I could do would ever silence the screams. When finally all grew still, I looked down to see Amanda amongst the icing smears and crumbled remains, cradling a single survivor, a lone woman. Tentatively I held hope, as my Goddess rose. Her tear streaked face proved this was not her doing and the way she protected the last remaining member of our people was testament to her benevolence. I quietly thanked her as she reached upward and placed next to me the most beautiful sight I had known since my own birth. A partner and someone to share this isolated haven with. She would need a gentle touch, to assure her that the violence of her first minutes was not how life would continue and I steeled myself for the task. I would protect this last chance at companionship. The look in her eyes as her feet touched down was one of haunted relief and in that moment I knew that she understood what had happened. The horror was still fresh, but I was grateful for this chance at connection and her look seemed to say the same. I reached out as Amanda’s hand retreated and almost caught her. Her leg must have been damaged. As the crack opened wider under her weight, she toppled sideways and I could not catch her in time, despite my desperate and flailing attempt. She tumbled over the edge. The maw of the awaiting canine, guardian of the Gods realm, opened wide to complete her sacrifice. I accepted, even before she was gone, that I would never know the sound of her voice. On my knees at the edge of my home I met the eyes of Amanda and through our mutual tears I felt as though we connected one last time, until she turned away and I knew I would never see her again.

I remained there, at the edge of my small world, gazing into the abyss of the Gods. The dog that guarded the ground far below, slinked away to sleep, its belly filled with the remains of my entire fledgling race, table licked clean as if they had never existed. I considered jumping. There was nothing left for me but a lifetime of solitude without purpose or end, better to take what little control I had and decide my own fate. I stood to complete the act, there was no hesitation left in my movements, my body did not resist me. That was until, that damn train driver tooted his way into view and the smarmy sneer on his face ignited my rage. Why was I so enamoured with Gods who had done nothing but cause me harm since the day I was made!? Why was I content to live as a lesser being under all who garnered their favour!? Why should I just lay down and die now that they had thoroughly cast me aside!? If I was to die and with me all of my kind, I was going to do some damage on my way out. Damn them all, divine or not I was going to make them pay.

I leapt from the shelf, but not to my death. Instead, I had taken up the end of the glittering rope that bordered my realm and ripped it free from its anchors. I descended as it broke my fall and swung wide before letting go to land precisely on the back of the cosmic train. A ran across the top of the carriages, forward toward the driver, who now looked wide eyed over his shoulder. I slammed my stale, iron hard fist into the back of his smug head, which knocked him out cold. Sliding him out the side door and onto the tracks I felt the train jump as its metal wheels sliced through his body. I could not help but chuckle in satisfaction before turning to focus on the track ahead. I was moving at an increasing, break-neck speed without the drivers input and the dashboard was covered in confusing lights and levers. Picking one at random that looked promising, I slapped it downward fully. The resulting screech of the brakes confirmed I had chosen true. The sudden halt of the engine car did not account for the momentum of the carriages behind, which launched into the air like a snake reaching for a charmer. I sprinted along them, rising ever higher and leaping to grasp the lowest of the immense trees branches, before gravity won out and pulled the chain of metal down into the wreckage below. I looked up, taking in the stairway of lights and shining beings that led ever higher. I had made it to what I hoped was the source of all power and joy in the human’s world. I began climbing, intent on reaching the summit and destroying it all.

The ascent was gruelling. I had to work my way along the winding limbs and had to backtrack regularly when there seemed no way to span a gap. Winding in and out I slowly rose higher, as my body grew weaker. The interspersed lights emitted a warmth that was gradually eating away at my painted features and softening my core. I knew I had to move quickly and keep my distance. The power they radiated was immense, but my anger burned just as hot and so I pushed on.

At first I feared the avatars of the arboreal realm, they hung menacingly from golden ropes and threw taunts and jibes at me constantly. It was not until their verbal assault pushed my anger to a level I did not know existed, that I lashed out. One of the coloured globes was my victim. I launched myself at it, throwing blows in an attempt to silence it’s insults and to my surprise, I easily destroyed it. It cracked under my fists and its resulting swing collided with a branch, shattering into sharp pieces. I stood before it, dismayed at how easily it had broken. It seemed those with the sharpest tongues really were the most fragile. I scooped up a particularly fearsome looking shard and carried it with me upward. It’s sharp edge made short work of any glittering creatures who dared speak out against me again. One swipe severed their shining ropes and sent them crashing down, inevitably hitting a branch or two and dashing them to pieces. They all fell silent quickly after a few examples were made.

After an eternity of climbing and willing my exhausted body ever higher, I burst from the narrowing peak into cool air. Icing dripped from my every surface and I felt my insides losing cohesion. I knew I was dying under the constant glare of raw power emanating from the lights that now lay so dangerously close by. Yet I had made it. I had conquered the path and now stood before the most worshipped being in the entire realm.

“I don’t know what you think you are doing,” she shrilled, “but the humans will not stand for this! You will be split into parts and each of them will devour a piece! You will never know rest as you burn inside them for eternity!”

I looked at her, my eyes flat and mouth tight. I did not respond. Nor did I hear any of the other words she screeched and yelled toward me. Instead, I simply reached down, pulled up one of the cords that joined the lights of creation and assuming they carried the current of power, sliced through it with the shard I had carried from below.

Instantly the world went dark. All was black except for the end of the cord that I held in my hand. It glowed with a blue light that arced and jumped across my hand. I ignored the pain as my arm slowly turned black, emitting a charcoal smell that caught in the back of my throat. Bathed in blue light, the creature in front of me screamed. I took the opportunity and punched the end of the cord directly into her open mouth and watched as the world lit up again. This time with red flame.

The entire tree exploded into an inferno with remarkable speed. I felt my body both melting and hardening to char at the same time. My eyes burst and caramelised. Still I laughed loud with an insane joy. I had avenged my people, removed the source of the humans power and more than that, I felt alive for the first time. I was buzzing with adrenaline, satisfaction and awe at what I had achieved. I was glad to perish amongst that, rather than slowly turning to stone as I staled, ignored and alone in my own little corner. I hoped my Gods would find my blackened corpse and know who it was that had turned their world to ash, as then they would know that they had deserved it.