The Sinners Clause

WARNING: A PERSON DIES IN THIS STORY. THERE ARE ALSO CURSE WORDS.

“Are you there, God? It’s me again…”

The young man’s voice stirred Insiel from a deep meditation. The angel sat in the Garden of Eden under the flowing tendrils of a willow tree, their eyes closed and their legs crossed. Insiel cocked their head to the side, listening, and their salt and pepper hair shifted with the sudden movement.

“Why have you been doing the exact opposite of what I pray for lately?” The man continued.

“Oh great, this asshole.” Insiel sighed softly to themself, recognizing the arrogant tone. The angel pushed up from the ground, somewhat reluctantly, and dusted the dirt from the seat of their pants.

“I just don’t get it, I mean, do you hate me?” 

Electricity danced along Insiel’s skin as they readied themselves for the portal to open. The sound of it crackling in their ears calmed Insiel’s nerves. Their wings slinked from the spot between their shoulder blades and the ground beneath them yawned open and swallowed them whole.

Insiel’s feet touched down gently on the roof of a tall building a moment later. The moon was faint behind a shroud of wispy clouds, and a sea of glittering structures stretched out around them. In human cities, those buildings played the role of starlight because the night sky appeared bare as a result of them. Sheets and miscellaneous clothing flapped in the midnight breeze on clotheslines strung from one end of the roof to the other. In a small space to Insiel’s right was a rusted metal table with an intricate swirling pattern.

Marcus, Insiel’s charge, was pacing, his face puckered in a scowl. The human’s hair stood up awkwardly like he’d run his fingers through it several times. His tie sat loose on his neck and he smelled of cheap liquor.

“I prayed, and prayed, and prayed for that promotion and instead I lost my job!” He growled into the night.

“...Because you took credit for someone else’s project to get that promotion.” The angel chimed to themself.

“And I cried to you about how afraid I was of not being able to pay rent and now my landlord is evicting me!” 

“Because you gambled away all the money from the opportunities I led you to instead of paying your rent.” Insiel leaned on the edge of the table while Marcus dug into his back pocket and pulled out a phone. He checked the glowing screen but didn’t seem satisfied with what it said.

“And now, my wife is saying she wants a divorce. And she won’t answer any of my fucking calls!” Marcus reeled back as if he was going to throw his phone off the side of the building, but he turned the toss into an angry little spin at the last moment.

Insiel sucked their teeth. “Well, you did sell all of her family heirlooms to pay off your debt.” 

“I don’t deserve this!” 

“Debatable…”

“I’m a good person!”

“Are you though?”

“I don’t understand why you’re doing this to me, but it’s so unfair! My life is so shitty, I might as well…” He glanced around, looking for a suitable threat to offer in exchange for satisfaction, like he always did when his life got a bit hard. Insiel massaged the bridge of their nose and wondered how awful it could truly be to have their wings clipped for abandoning a charge.

“I might as well just jump!” Insiel’s eyes snapped open. They watched slack-jawed as Marcus shimmied up onto the ledge. He wobbled a bit when he stood up and Insiel’s throat tightened.

“Now, hold on a minute.” Insiel pushed away from the table. “Get down from there!” 

The angel rushed across the small space and reached out to grab their moronic charge before he fell off the building. Their fingers passed right through Marcus’s wrist.

“Right, right. No physical contact with humans.” Insiel hissed, and they rotated in a few tight circles hoping the movement would shake an idea loose in their head. They caught sight of the phone still clutched in Marcus’s sausage-like fingers and a light bulb blinked on in their head. But who could Insiel have call this man to get him off that ledge? What would fix this idiot’s crumbling life at this moment?

Insiel snapped their fingers and the phone started to vibrate. Marcus glanced at the screen. A small grin raised one corner of his lips. He answered after six rings.

“Well, look who’s calling.” Marcus said smugly.

“Not a great start.” Insiel sighed.

“You need a lawyer, huh? Oh… you want my help?”

“Careful with the tone.” Insiel started chewing on their thumbnail.

“Well, I can’t help you with your problem. You see, I’m going to be homeless soon.”

Insiel’s hand dropped back to their side. “What.” 

“And it has me so distraught that I couldn’t possibly focus on work.” Marcus couldn’t have sounded less sincere, even if he tried. Insiel stood stiffly behind him, their eyebrows knit together.

“Hmm, no deal. Your building has always been way too dumpy to cost that much.” Marcus said matter-of-factly. At this point, Insiel was shaking.

“Make it a three hundred dollar rent decrease for three years and I’ll consider coming to help you.” He stressed the word consider heavily. There was a beat of silence where Marcus held the phone away from his ear and whispered threats inaudibly into it. The person on the other line started speaking again and he practically shattered the screen while putting it back to his ear.

“Great! I will see you in an hour.” He hung up the phone and jumped up and down. He twirled around on the building's edge and made gestures that Insiel guessed were meant to be a victory dance.

“Are you KIDDING ME??” Insiel roared and their wings beat roughly with their outburst. A sudden gust of wind picked up and at that exact moment, Marcus lost his footing and tumbled off the building.

“Oh, shit!” Insiel cried, rushing to the side. They tasted the electricity this time. Everything slowed down around Insiel, who almost threw themself over the wall searching for Marcus. They found him suspended in the air about ten feet below the edge. Insiel placed their forehead on the concrete wall for a second to let their heartbeat steady. They’d made a mistake, but everything was fine. Just float him up, and it’d be like it never happened.

“Or here’s a thought, you could just let him fall.” Insiel pivoted on their heels at the sound of the familiar voice and found they were no longer on the roof, but in a blank white space instead. Standing in front of them was, well, Insiel. Or at least, someone with their face.

“Who are you?” Insiel collected a ball of energy in their palm and stretched it into a glowing sword. They pointed it at their copy.

“Whoa there, overachiever, watch where you’re pointing that thing.” Insiel’s double replied, backing away slightly.

“Don’t make me ask again.” Insiel pressed the blade to the copy's throat.

“Fine, fine. Smooth your feathers, kid.” The double raised its hands in surrender. “I’m you.” 

“You’re me?” 

“In simple terms, yes.”

“Think of me as the voice inside of your head,” The double used a single finger to push the blade of Insiel’s sword away from its neck. “One that brought you here to have a quick chat.”

“And where is here?”

“A little slow, are we? This….” The double gestured wildly with their arms before settling into the type of pose you’d use to present something awe-inspiring. “Is your mind.”

Insiel scanned the vast nothingness. “My mind seems a little empty.”

“Your words, not mine.”

“And you brought me here to chat? Chat about what, murdering a human?”

The double scrunched its face. “Mmm, is it really murder though?”

Insiel stared at his doppelganger like he expected it to grow a second head. “Yes. I flapped my wings…. and he fell off the building.”

   The double lifted a finger. “First of all, it was already super windy up there, not to mention,” it wiggled around in an imitation of Marcus’s dance, “that god awful jig he was doing. So, you can’t be sure it was you who made him fall.”

It ticked off a second finger. “Secondly, he was the one who was stupid enough to climb up there in the first place.”

“But…” 

“And for what, because he wanted to guilt you into giving him what he wanted.”

“Well, you’re not wrong, but…”

“Fleeting little humans, always praying for things to be handed to them on a silver platter instead of working for them themselves.” A cushy-looking leather chair popped into the space behind the double and it plopped into the seat with a satisfied exhale. Insiel was too preoccupied to notice. They were contemplating what the double had just said.

“I do give them the chance to have everything they ask for.” Insiel finally spoke, a tinge of defensiveness in their tone.

“I know you do!” The double declared.

“If they just followed my signs.” 

“I hear you, kid.” The double’s agreement with the angel’s frustration seemed to fuel a fire within Insiel, and soon, they were yelling.

“But then, as soon as any tiny little thing inconveniences them, they blame me!” Insiel jabbed the tips of their index fingers into their chest.

“Exactly!”

“It isn’t fair!”

“You got that right.”

“Why do I have to be a guardian? I could be a great angel, like Michael or Gabriel! But instead, I’m stuck listening to the mindless driveling of a bunch of minor beings with a much shorter lifespan than my own.” Insiel’s cheeks were like a field of poppies in May. 

“So just let him fall, problem solved.” The double replied, examining its nails with a bored expression. All the color collected in Insiel’s face drained away. They stared at the doppelganger blankly. 

“I can’t.” Insiel giggled. “We’re not supposed to…” Apparently, the angel had seriously considered it. The double was pleasantly surprised.

“You’re not supposed to what? Interfere and save the life of a human who’s meant to die?” The double stood up and closed the distance between them. It placed a hand on Insiel’s shoulder. “You’re absolutely right!”

“But I…” Insiel half-heartedly protested.

“But nothing. He climbed up there,” The double swished its free hand upwards, “and he fell off.” It pointed to the ground. “No harm, no foul. Moving on.”

“You’re… right.”

“Hell yeah, I am.” The double circled Insiel like a shark, but the angel seemed caught up in a sudden epiphany.

“I should just let it happen.” Insiel whispered, like it was an obvious answer that they should’ve seen staring them in the face. The double bent at the waist and peeked up at Insiel’s face with a doe-eyed gaze.

“You sure?”

“Yeah… He deserves it.” Insiel still had that distant look in their eye.

The moment those words slipped from Insiel’s lips, they found themself in the real world once again. But now, they were on the street at the base of the building, looking up at Marcus still suspended in the air. Insiel couldn’t move, couldn’t look away, couldn’t even call out in horror as time gradually picked up pace and Marcus plummeted to the Earth.

“Damn those stupidly bright street lamps.” Insiel thought, just as Marcus’s body impacted into its own personal spotlight, like he was giving a monologue in a play. The sound of every bone in his body shattering echoed through the silent night. The smell of copper burned Insiel’s nostrils.

Then, Insiel was suddenly on the other side of the shattered remains of Marcus Richmond, watching their body move of its own accord. 

“Well, that was easy.” It chuckled, wiping the splattered blood from its cheek.

“What…I don’t understand. What’s happening?” Insiel’s voice shook.

“You’re facing the consequences of your actions, that’s what’s happening.” Their body picked at the simple white clothing it was dressed in. It snapped its fingers and suddenly it was wearing human clothes. A leather jacket, ripped jeans, and clunky combat boots.

“What do you mean? Tell me what you’ve done!”

“Insiel, dear, dumb’s not a good look on you.” Insiel’s body gestured to the pile of goop on the sidewalk. “You just murdered someone.”

“But you said…” 

“Why would you listen to me? Of course, I said. I am a demon after all.” Insiel’s eyes grew wide. 

“That’s impossible!” They sputtered, “Demons can’t possess angels.”

“That’s not entirely true.”

“How did you get inside my head?” Insiel asked, the panic settling into their voice and making it crack.

“You put me there, of course.” The demon paused, considering its words. “Or more specifically, you made me there.”

It strolled towards Insiel, not bothering to step over Marcus’s body as it walked. “See, I was born from every single one of your naughty little thoughts.”

It glanced skyward. “And tonight, when you pushed that man off the roof…”

“I didn’t…”

“You did.” It interjected, fixing Insiel with its knowing gaze. “And for a split second, a tiny little moment, you thought about letting him die. Which gave me just enough power to… seize an opportunity.”

The demon patted its chest with both hands and twirled in a circle with its arms outstretched. “And now I’m going to use your lovely body to corrupt other souls. But before I murder any innocents,” It rubbed its stomach, “I’m gonna go murder a stack of pancakes.”

 “Wait, you can’t!” The demon moved to walk away and Insiel grabbed at it frantically. But their hands passed right through.

“Actually, I can. But don’t worry. You won’t be around to see it.” A hole popped open beneath Insiel’s feet, and they dropped into it, barely catching themself on the edge with their forearms. Heat radiated out of it, smoke and ash catching in Insiel’s throat. They coughed as it filled their lungs. The demon studied Insiel with a satisfied glint in its eyes.

“Stop, please stop! I don’t deserve this! I just made one mistake.” 

The demon choked on a laugh. “Interesting. Y’know, with every passing moment you sound more and more like the humans you hate so much.”

“I don’t deserve to lose everything, to have my soul destroyed over one bad decision.” Tears welled in Insiel’s eyes as their grip began to escape them and hands grabbed at their ankles. The demon crouched before the hole, its chin rested in its hand and its elbow propped on a knee.

“Hmm. You wanna know the way I see it?”

The demon leaned closer until their faces were inches apart. “A person is dead because of your selfish decisions. And you think you should what, get a pass?” 

“Why? Because you think of yourself as a higher being than them?” It tilted its head to the side like a dog.

“Because you see no value in their lives?” It tilted its head to the other side.

“Tell me, did those falsities you live by truly make you believe you were entitled to choose who lives and dies?” 

“No… you…” Insiel spoke through clenched teeth.

The demon waved off the angel’s attempt to speak. It shot up from its squatted position and towered over them. “Don’t blame me, I just validated what you were already thinking.”

It shrugged. “Besides, it wasn’t me who made you with an existential sinner clause and then dumped you in a sea of sin.”

It kicked Insiel’s arms. The angel lost their grip completely. They called out in a voice that was shrill and broken, narrowly catching themself with one hand. They dug their fingers into the dirt and whimpered. The lights along the street flickered out, plunging them into darkness. The only source of light left came from the portal to damnation.

“So, when they’re dragging you into the pits of hell, and the skin starts melting off your bones, feel free to say, Thank you, God.”

The demon's eyes glowed crimson in the firelight, “Thanks an awful lot.” 

The demon stomped on Insiel’s fingers, crushed them beneath its boot. The angel descended into the pit with a banshee-like shriek. The hole narrowed to a pinpoint and closed with a puff of smoke, leaving nothing but a lingering warmth and the smell of sulfur behind. The interloper could feel God’s eyes on the back of its head. It found the whole situation quite amusing. How rib-tickling it was that the almighty creator hadn’t deigned to look upon that angel until it met its end. Had God paid more attention, had God at least pretended to care, things might not have ended this way. The demon gave God a two-fingered salute, and a proper smile, then walked off into the night in search of an IHOP.