The Star in the Sky and the Knight on the Ground

I try to get comfortable in the sharp, dry, itchy summer grass as I look at the stars hoping they will hear my dreams. It’s 3 am and I can’t sleep thinking about love, crushes, and the unknown possibility of your crush liking you or not. Teenage love isn’t that what everyone wants or betrays that it’s the best love. Even the geeks, rejects, popular, typical, loners want it. Even someone like me, the invisible loner, with black hair and brown eyes. Maybe it’s because it’s the best love. Fun, exciting, new, wild, with no responsibilities, kinda love. Maybe that’s why I’m looking up at the stars in my backyard thinking about the one girl that I work with. Who has blonde hair, forest green eyes, and light freckles across her nose. Selina. The wanting and longing of love and requited love that kills you. Wondering if they can’t sleep because they are thinking of you, or that they feel the same feelings as you. Their own thoughts spiraling into rabbit holes thinking of teenage love and all the dates, laughs, and the wild craziness of it, just as you are. I look at my watch knowing I have to stop thinking and go to bed. Maybe Selina will be working tomorrow. I get up and climb up the fire escape ladder into my bedroom. 

~~~

    I wake up the next morning wishing for more time to sleep. I groan as I get up and get ready for work. 

    I stand at one of the roller coasters waiting for the lines of screaming kids, loud jumping teenagers, and the exhausted parents just wanting to leave. As rush hour begins Selina walks over to me and helps divide the line into 2 different lines to make it easier. We have gotten closer to each other while the roller coaster is going and we talk to each other in the middle area of the two lines while we wait for the coaster to be done. I walk over there after the ride starts. 

    “Hey Dustin, how’s it going?” Selina asks meeting me in the middle. 

    “A typical day. You?” I ask looking into her eyes. 

    “Just about the same. What time are you off?” 

    “In two hours.”

    “Me too, which sucks today because we are able to see the constellation Lyra tonight and it would be awesome to see tonight.” 

    “Can you see it at home? I bet it would be better to see without the lights overpowering it.” 

    “I can’t I have no backyard at all and you need grass for stargazing to be ‘perfect’. Plus you can only see it for a short time at nine till ten.” The ride stops and I walk back to my line as I think about possibly asking Selina over, just as friends, to see the constellation. I know that she loves stars, but will she think it’s more than a friendly thing. I like her, but I don’t think she likes me so I don’t want to ruin our friendship. I try to figure out a way to ask her without making it without sounding like a date as I walk back to the middle. 

    “So the constellation is Lyra and you need grass for the ‘perfect’ viewing?” 

    “Yes, why?” She asks suspiciously. 

    “Well,” I start to fidget with my hands as I continue, “I know the perfect place to view it. That is if you want and could come.” 

“I would love that! Thank you. What time should I get there?” 

“Would 8:45 work? I can text you the address.” 

“Okay, it’s a date,” She says smiling as she turns to walk back to her line. I start to smile as I whisper “A date…” under my breath. 

~~~

One Year Later...

    I’m setting up the backyard trying to make it out beat last year. I finally have found teenage love and why everyone raves about it. Selina told me last year that she had feelings for me after spotting Lyra and I told her my feelings for her. This year it’s too important because it’s our one year anniversary as well as seeing Lyra again. I just have to wait for Selina to show up and hope that this is better than last year. I check my watch and see that it’s 8:50. I start to get anxious because it isn’t like Selina to be late, but I shrug it off as traffic. That is until just a few minutes later I get a phone call from Selina’s parents. I answer it and I hear sobbing and sirens in the background. I know that Selina’s father is talking, but I don’t register what he is saying. I just catch bits and pieces of what he is saying. Selina… car accident… drunk driver… dead. I hang up and look at the text she just sent me half an hour ago. 

    See you in ten minutes, Knight. I remember her giving me that nickname. I called her My Star after I told her that her name meant The Star in the Sky. She then told me that my name meant Knight and therefore she started to call me Knight. I lay on the sharp, dry itchy grass feeling comfort this time as I look at the sky and the stars. Why? Why did she have to die? Why die in a car accident? Why now? Why today? Why… Why… Why? Why did my star have to die? I sob as grief tears at my heart crushing it to a million pieces. Why does grief have to hurt so bad? Grief and death are just two of the same. Death is what puts the end to it and grief is the consequence of death. I look up at the stars feeling a wind blow against my skin where Selina should be. I watch as I see Lyra appear and see another new star next to it brighten up. I smile to myself as more tears of grief and death run down my cheeks. 

She’s my Star in the Sky and I’m her Knight on the ground.