Because I Love You

A short rendition of "The Final Now" by Gregory Benford - A short story that made me laugh, and cry, and touched my heart in more ways then I can describe.

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“It’s been a very long time my friend.” Said One as he joined Two over two thousand meters down the cave that the mortals called Veryovkina. A light trickle of water could be heard but only barely seen in the torches light.

“Yes, yes it has.” Two slumped further into itself as it softly responded to One. “Why are you here?”

One thought for a moment, a million different reasons running through its head. It finally settled on the reason that encompassed it all, “I miss you.”

“We both know that isn’t true.”

One blinked at Two, “But it is, my child.”

Two stood up quickly “Don’t say that! Don’t say that to me!”

“Please sit down.”

“It isn’t true!” Twos eyes filled with tears of pain and sorrow. Also, a little bit of anger if Two were to be honest with itself.

“Child. Please. I thought I was coming down for you, but really, this is just as much for me. I miss you and I just want to understand why.”

Two sat back down and put its head in its hands. “I… I don’t….” One sat quietly, listening to the sound of Two’s tears creating a rhythm with the trickle of water as it cried “I don’t know why,” Two cried.

One thought about that for a moment before responding. “I believe you.”

“What?”

“I believe you.” Once said again. “I’ve done a lot of things I don’t completely understand myself, so I really do believe you. Can we try to talk about it though? I won’t run away this time. I hope you don’t either.”

Two’s tears came harder now, “Isn’t it too late to talk?”

“It is never too late my child.” One sighed as he stretched out it’s legs and leaned back on its arms. “I understand that you can’t put a finger on what needs to be discussed, but I believe it all needs to be. Pick one thing and let’s start there.”

Two whipped at its eyes and leaned back like One had done, sniffling the last few tears away. “Why did you make me? Why did you make them?”

“I was lonely.”

“That’s not a good reason,” Two whispered.

One let out a low chuckle. “You’re right, it’s not. It is the truth though. I was lonely so I created you and the others. Then, I realized I made a mistake, but I couldn’t fix it, I tried so hard to, but it is not in my scope of power. So, then I created them.”

“Not in your scope of power!” Two laughed, “Yeah, right.”

“I don’t have unlimited ability, no matter what you all think. If I did, I could have fixed my mistake instead of having to start over.”

Two spat on the cave ground in disgust. “ And what was so wrong with us? With me?”

One almost stood up but stopped itself, this conversation was important, no matter how hard it was to have. “Nothing is wrong with you. That’s the issue. The wrongness lies in me. I created you to be like me with just enough difference to make things interesting. Instead, I put to many limitations on you, I bonded you to me in an act of desperate need of companionship instead of letting you just… be.” One stopped for a moment, overcome with its emotions. “If I could have taken off those bounds, I would have. I tried so hard, but I couldn’t, so I created the others. I created them with no bounds.”

Two thought for a moment, adjusting its posture to sit up a little straighter. “So why didn’t you end our existence when you created them?”

“Because I love you.”

“But you loved them more.”

“I didn’t and I don’t. I love you equally. I must admit that I have paid more attention to them, and for that I am truly sorry. Without the restraints that I created you with, they were given the ability to create, and adventure, and experience existence in a way that exceeded any expectations or hopes that I ever had for them. I got wrapped up in that. You did too, you know, exceeded my expectations.”

Two laughed again, a sound that One had missed so much for so long. “I’m sure I have, though I imagine not in the way you would have wanted.”

“The only thing I didn’t want was to lose you. Can I ask you a question?” Twos silver hair lightly shinned in the glow of the lantern as he nodded at One to continue. “Why did you leave?”

Two breathed out a sigh and thought for a while. One adjusted his posture but stayed quiet, waiting for Two to pull its thoughts together. Finally, after several minutes, two answered. “I came down when Adam was born, as you know.” Two sighed again, thinking back on those years as if it was only yesterday, instead of thousands and thousands of years earlier. “He was so lost in this world. Constantly in danger of the creatures that survived the meteor, but not giving up. He was the only one of his kind until you created her. Did you know I was there with him the day she was made?” The answer to Twos question was obvious in the surprise on Ones face.

“Well, I was.” Two continued. “His eyes lit up and he fell to his knees in awe of her beauty. You had made her just for him, yet he belonged just to her. It made me mad. He was a lot like me before she came. Even though you were always there, you were still so far away that he was lonely, just like I was. Yet you made him someone to be with and she caused him to forget about me. I was once again alone, and you did not care.”

“Then, as the years went by, they made up stories about you. They spoke those stories with so much expression and for so long that… Well, I started to believe them. I never knew you to be angry or destructive, but they were so convincing. Then I started to think that, well, THAT was wrong with me. That the reason you sent me to earth to begin with was because I was a flaw.”

One stared at the water dripping down. “There is no flaw in you,” One said softly. “I sent you to earth to help Adam survive long enough for me to make sure that this time I got it right. You did just that and that is when I created Eve, you did nothing wrong, and I was very sad when you didn’t come home. Now I understand. I did think about making you an Adam or an Eve or something in-between to be your partner in this existence, but I didn’t know how to create a partner that was deserving of you.”

“I’m sure I don’t deserve it anymore anyways.”

“That’s not true.”

“Isn’t it though? The longer I lived here among the mortals, the worse I have become. I have caused heartbreak, natural disasters that have killed many, and brought them away from praising you.”

One laughed hard this time, “I never needed to be praised! I am just happy to see the experiences all my creations have lived, how they push through the hard times and the beings that they become. Some make me mad; I don’t like when they hurt the others, but I gave them the choice for a reason. Sometimes I forget what that reason is, but that doesn’t mean I have given up hope that my creations can continue to do better, be better. You, my child, I can see that you want to do better, that is all that matters to me.”

“I wish I could take back the past.”

“You can take back your future and make it yours.”

“How?” Two sighed.

“That is your choice.”

Two looked up at the rocks above, then down at how far it had fallen. “I want….”

One waited a moment before speaking, “Tell me child, what do you want.”

“I can’t.”

“You can.”

“I want to join you again; I don’t want to be here any longer.” Two buried its head in the crook of its arm in shame.

“Then come.”

“It is too far, too hard.”

One gently pressed its hands against the sides of Twos face and met its eyes, “Then let me help you.”

One and Two climbed. When Two slipped, One helped it get its grip once again. When Two climbed faster up, it would stop and wait for One to catch up. Finally, they reached the top and the sunshine shone on both of them for the first time in what seemed like forever. They sat together side by side.

“My Child, what type of partner would you like to have? A man? A woman? Somewhere in between? Tell me what you want, and we will make it happen, together,” One said.

"I don't know.." Two whispered.

"Well, take your time and let me know when you are ready. Anything you want, my child, because I love you," One smiled. Two smiled as well, feeling the heat of the sun and the warmth of Ones love on its face.