The Dragon Who Would Be Queen

Ina stretched out her wings in her cavern, admiring the hoard she had collected over the years. Her blue scaled shimmered on the rocks as she yawned her great maw. The silly mammals of the kingdom had grown wise and paid her tribute regularly now. Golden coins, gems of the finest quality, gold bars, and jewelry, arms and armor, and the bones of livestock sacrificed to her decorated her spacious cavern. 

At the beginning they had tried to fight. The paladins, monster hunters, adventurers, and soldiers had attacked her regularly and Ina had slain them all with fire, tooth, and talon. A few raids on the kingdom's farms and infrastructure and their little king and his nobles finally caved to her demands and paid her tribute regularly. 

It was a nice arrangement: Ina was fed and wealthy, and - aside from the occasional idiotic thief to kill - Ina had it made. Occasionally she’d leave the lair for a flight and a bit of hunting, but mostly she would simply lounge on her hoard - indulging in her wealth and cunning. 

Today, however, she could feel a stirring in her scales.

“Hmm,” Ina rumbled taking in her surroundings. Truthfully, she was growing bored. But she didn’t want to relocate: It was such a hassle. “I have much wealth, a hoard to be envious of.” Ina said to herself. “But I don’t know what to do anymore.”

The last thing she wanted was for her cave to be so filled with tribute that she could not even use it anymore - yet, as it is with dragons, she still wanted more. It was then that an idea came to the dragoness. 

“Yes,” Ina said, steepling her talons together as she considered her delicious idea. “That is a most wonderful idea.”

Stomping to the end of her cave Ina bounded into the air and took flight, over farms and cottages she flew, the peasants below scurrying for dear life - their screams filling the air. Over the town and to the courtyard of the castle she landed. 

The one she wanted to see was right where she wanted him. 

The king was an elderly tiger. Once he had been an imposing ruler, but that was decades ago. 

He seemed like a scared kitten before her, now. His wolf guards quivered in their chainmail as they made a feeble attempt at getting between their king and the dragon. Ina had killed nearly all the best warriors long ago: the others had left in disgust at seeing their king make a pact with a dragon. 

“King Bertrand!” Ina roared. 

“I-Ina,” the king whimpered. 

The dragoness snorted. “Assemble your court. We have a matter to discuss.” 

The old tiger shivered in his robes. “Do you require more tribute?” Long had Bertrand heard that dragons were never satisfied - how he wished that wasn’t true. 

“We can discuss that soon enough. Assemble your court!” Ina ordered. 

Within an hour the entire court was assembled in the courtyard as Ina observed the collection of mammals. 

“I have grown bored,” Ina stated. There were ears being flattened, and tails twitching in alarm. “No longer am I satisfied with our arrangement. From now on I wish to be your queen.” 

There was a stunned silence as the assembled mammals processed what she had just said, before they began murmuring. Bertrand stepped forward, finding some semblance of courage for the first time in years.

“See here, now! I am king. You cannot simply declare yourself queen!” 

Ina tilted her head smoke billowing from her nostrils. “And why not?” 

The old tiger seemed to realize his precarious position, but he persisted. “It simply isn’t proper. What does a dragon know of ruling a kingdom?”

Ina chuckled, “If I’m not mistaken, your prime minister holds more influence than you.” 

The Prime Minister, a coyote, flattened his ears and tried to shrink back into the crowd with his scepter of office.

“How did you… I mean who told you that?” Bertrand asked.

“I know a bit more than you think old tiger. Never fear, my role as queen will be purely ceremonial. You will still be king, and the Prime Minister will keep his job. I merely wish to be referred to as Queen Ina from this point on.” 

So it was, Ina would regularly travel from her cave to the castle where she would perch on the tallest tower and stare down at her new subjects. She had begun to refer to the little mammals as her ‘subjects,’ much to their annoyance. It went on for a few weeks before Ina made a new demand when, once again, the court was assembled. 

Ina spoke, her voice echoing across the stones. “If I am Queen, I must have a crown!” 

The treasurer, a raccoon stepped forward. He cleared his throat, terrified. “Y-your majesty, there is no crown that can fit your... glorious head.” 

Ina snorted, and the crowd stepped back expecting a blast of fire to incenerate the treasurer. 

Ina grunted. “Very well. Then a smith will have to craft me a crown.” 

The raccoon gulped, “Begging your pardon, Queen Ina. But our materials are in scant supply, most go to pay your tribute.”

“Hurrr,” Ina growled. “Then I shall bring the material and the smith shall craft me a crown.” 

It took some days, but finally Ina had a crown worthy of her splendid self, the dragoness wore the gold crown with diamonds proudly, snug over her horns. The dragon seemed satisfied until she made a new demand. 

“From now on I shall be referred to as ‘Beloved Queen’ understood.” 

“Yes beloved queen,” the gathered said in a bereaved tone.

“Hmm... we’ll have to work on that enthusiasm,” Ina snorted. 

As time passed Ina started becoming more actively involved in the court. She insisted on being able to listen in on all meetings, her now-crowned head usually inches from a window. 

In one such meeting the General nervously gave his report. “Gullerland is refusing our caravans, and has actively blocked trade routes. They sent our diplomats back to us.”

A lot of murmurs. The Prime minister spoke then. 

“This does not bode well, your majesty. They are twice the size of our kingdom. If they’re refusing to buy from us then it might mean they intend to seize what resources we have.” 

King Bertrand started to speak but Ina interrupted him, speaking for the first time. “Unacceptable.” 

All heads turned towards her. Bertrand spoke hesitantly. “Beloved queen. I’m sorry if this news upsets you…”

But Ina wasn’t listening as she suddenly took off into the air, wings beating angrily. 

“Perhaps she’ll leave us alone?” King Bertrand asked hesitantly. 

Gullerland wasn't a far distance for a dragon to travel. On the border, Ina spotted an army, infantry, siege engines, archers. The colored tents and many campfires told Ina they were camping out. 

“So close to my new kingdom? I don’t think so.” 

Diving down Ina bathed the ground in flame, the screams of terror and pain, and the stinch of burned fur and flesh soon grew thick in the air. She had struck quickly and the soldiers were taken by surprise as they tried to rally into some semblance of a fighting force. Ina spotted a badger in resplendent armor directing his troops. With a snarl Ina dove and snatched him in her talons as easily as an eagle would a fish. 

Higher and higher Ina flew out of bowshot. 

“You dare rally near my kingdom mammal?” She asked the squirming captive in her huge claws.

“Unhand me you filthy creature!” the badger snarled. 

“As you wish,” Ina snarled as she opened her claws, dropping the screaming creature to the field below. The general landing in the middle of his troops from such a high altitude was quite demoralizing - that coupled with the spreading flames quickly routed the army that had been massing. 

“Now, then. What next?” Ina asked aloud.  

The following day Ina had stolen a raccoon official and placed him abruptly on a high cliff face. She had spotted him with his entourage not far from the routed army: He had turned out to be quite the catch. Ina leaned towards the little raccoon and roared in his furry face: 

“I do not care about your little squeakings! Give us a better deal or burn!”

“Yes! Yes! We shall resume trade I swear it! My monarch will not risk incurring your wrath again!” 

“You will do more than resume trade, from now on you will buy at twice the price! You will send a tribute to me regularly.”      

The raccoon sobbed and nodded. When Ina returned to the castle she did so with a banner clutched in her talons. 

“Our enemy shall bother us no more I have seen to it.” 

Bertrand looked shocked. “You what?” 

“I am Queen. None shall threaten my kingdom.” The rest of the court looked on in awe. “Now then.” Ina steepled her talons. “From now on the official coins shall bear my image. Bertrand, you shall advocate.”

The old tiger looked ready to protest. “And if I refuse?” 

“Are you refusing the queen?” Ina rumbled. 

The two locked eyes for a solid minute, as Bertrand realized the truth. He was a coward. Bertrand lowered his gaze. 

“Yes, Beloved Queen.” 

“Good. Now if any of you should try and cross me, I shall devour you. I am your ruler now.” She made sure to glare at the coyote minister specifically. “Are we understood?” 

“Yes, your majesty. Long live Beloved Queen Ina. Hail to the queen!”  

As the court took up the chant Ina grinned: 

She could get used to this.