Reluctance

As Avery walked down the twisted lanes, her heart sped up with every step, it beat so fast that she felt it would pop out of her chest at any moment!, she clutched her heart, anxiety swirling around her.

She hadn't felt this anxious when she stepped out of her home but the more closer she came to her destination, the more anxiety pricked her, a constant reminder that maybe she wasn't good enough.

"You've got this!"

That seemed to calm her, her mind was trying it's best to reassure her but she wasn't sure how long it was going to work, she still felt unsure, maybe she wasn't competent enough to take up the job but the pay was just too good to decline it, who let's such a good opportunity go to waste?

Her heels clacked against the ground, they seemed too much for her, she wanted to look good but maybe wearing heels was a bad idea. She hadn't thought before that there was a lot of walking involved in this job.

She leaned against the wall, trying to catch her breath and take a break, she was tired from all the walking but she knew she had to reach on time otherwise she would fail at her first day at the job.

Failure wasn't an option for her, if she failed at this job, she knew she would be immediately fired and won't get even a single penny, all her efforts would go to waste!

She could see the glimpse of the skyscrapers, she knew she was near but there was still some walking left to do, the building seemed to shine in the sunlight but despite it's magnificence, this wasn't where she was meant to go.

She took out her phone and glanced at herself in the camera, she looked fine, even impressive but her looks were the least of her concerns, this job wasn't given to her because of her looks nor would she be retained on the basis of it.

Slipping her phone back into her purse, she took a deep breath, there was no turning back now, she was close to her destination and she had to let go of her anxiety. It seemed very hard to her, she took another deep breath, trying to steady herself but calmness eluded her.

She stood there still, as if frozen in time. She couldn't bring herself to take another step, she was sweating with anxiety, her legs were trembling and her mind had gotten blank, she was sure if she stood like that for another minute, she would even forget where she was!

She sighed, she couldn't calm her mind nor did she want to let go of this opportunity, she had spent so much time preparing for it, she couldn't just throw it all away without even trying!

Her mind pranced with all the ways she could have thought before, what if she had declined the job the moment it was offered to her?, what if she had taken her time to think about it?, what if she hadn't taken the advance?

She cursed her mind, it found the worst possible time to think about things, time couldn't be reversed, so what was the point of her mind reminding her now?, it was futile to think of it now!

There was no turning back now or was there?, maybe she was just deluding herself and could simply turn back and walk away. There were many reasons to give, she could simply call and say that she was sick or not even give a reason.

She fell in deep thought, thinking about all the possibilities, every reason seemed legitimate, her mind started racing with excuses and imagining how she could simply just walk back, how much easier that would be.

But then there was the question of the advance, she didn't have any with her to return it, she had spent it all in her foolishness and that was one of the main reasons she couldn't just go back, the more she thought about it, the more she realized she had no choice at all.

She wasn't in dire need of money, she was getting by fine in her life, she had enough to live a comfortable life, even if it wasn't a life filled with luxury, she had almost everything she needed but greed took hold of her and the money offered seemed to spellbound her and without thinking she agreed to do the job.

But she hadn't thought before it would be this hard, nothing had seemed this impossible in her life before but now as she stood there wondering what to do, every minute made her task harder.

She walked along, trying not to think of anything but just focusing on getting her job done. She finally reached the address she was meant to reach, it felt less appealing now that she stood at the entrance.

Her anxiety seemed to calm down a bit, even though it refused to disappear entirely. She gulped, trying to steady herself and entered the hotel, it seemed larger than she had assumed and she walked around the lobby trying to grasp her surroundings.

The hotel was quieter than she had originally thought, standing near the entrance hadn't given her even the faintest idea, that there would be so less people here, it looked like something straight out of a horror movie!

She could see why though, the carpet looked like it hadn't been cleaned in ages and the paint on the wall was tapering off, the owner seemed least bothered about this place and worst of all there was no receptionist!

"Focus on your job Avery!"

Her thoughts switched back to what she had come here to do, she wasn't here to run the hotel or guide the owner on how to be a successful hotelier, so it was better she left those thoughts to the staff.

She knocked on the door, her hands were covered in sweat, she was unsure how she was going to handle it but tried to remain composed. A man dressed in a white shirt and trousers opened the door, he was surprised to see her but then smirked as he gazed at her.

He led her in and she nervously followed, once she was in, she closed the door behind her. He asked her to sit on a chair in the corner of the room and she hastily sat, her mind blankly following the man's instructions.

As the man turned to check on his phone, she clutched her purse, it took all her willpower to steady her hands but she managed somehow. She took out a gun and shot him, making sure the silencer was there, the man seemed to crumple on the floor.

She immediately put her gun back and rushed out, her mind was heavy with anxiety but her legs seemed to have developed a life of their own, it was only when she had reached home, did she feel a measure of certainty, a pride began to swell inside her, she had done the job and let go of her reluctance, she was now prepared for taking more jobs like this, the thought of all the money that was going to trickle in, made her chuckle.