Unrequited

Thursday, April 21, 1:05 p.m.

Throughout our whole friendship, Bella has always wanted to be an actress. Every Saturday she made me be her love interest and run lines for plays she wasn’t even going to audition for. So watching her on that stage right now auditioning for the lead in “Romeo and Juliet” is making me the proudest best friend in all of South Carolina. All of her hard work is paying off at this moment, whether she gets the part or not.

In my position in the auditorium, I can’t hear the lines she is reading but from the faces of the director’s I can tell she is doing amazing. Bella already has this high-class preppy look that matches perfectly for the role of a high social status girl. And of course, Bella - like the definition of her name - is the epitome of beauty. Her long brunette hair and big caramel doe eyes make for the perfect Juliet. 

“Perfecto, you did amazing. Now we will bring out our Romeo - Justin - to check your chemistry as co-stars,” the director with a slight Spanish accent calls into the microphone. Going to an expensive private school means our auditorium is huge, and unless the actors speak into mics or are wired with them no one would be able to hear a thing.

I watch as a boy with sandy blond hair walk onto the stage. I assume this is the Romeo, Justin. He continues to walk until he is just a foot away from Bella. When their eyes meet they both freeze. Justin’s eyes scan Bella from head to toe and I get an uneasy feeling in my stomach. Bella looks at Justin like time stops and he is the only person in the room. Why doesn’t she look at me with that much adoration? 

After what feels like hours of watching the two in shock, Joshua finally speaks. I still can’t make out what is being said but it looks like they are acting out a scene. Watching the pair act is like watching a love story fall out right in front of my eyes. I can’t help get this pit in my stomach every time Bella’s eyes reach Joseph’s. The feeling is almost unbearable and I have no idea why. To escape the unusual torment I look onto my lap and play games on my phone.

Thursday, April 21, 1:35 p.m.

30 minutes later, Bella runs up to me practically bouncing with excitement, “Talia I got the part! I really got the part!”

I instantly pull her into my arms “That is amazing. I knew you could do it,” I whispered in her ear.

“That’s not all that happened…” She smirked as she pulled away from me.

Bella left the audition with not only the part but also a date for tomorrow night. The thought of this date makes me shiver. The picture of his eyes on Bella burned into the back of my mind. I don’t trust this Jacob character one bit.

I need to protect my best friend, and make sure nothing shady happens on this date.

Thursday, April 21, 4:15 p.m.

Laying on my bed watching TV I find the perfect opportunity to question Bella about this date.

“Hey, so you really like this Justin guy?” I ask using his real name trying to seem nonchalant.

“Umm I mean, Isn’t Justin gorgeous. With his piercing blue eyes. Soft blond hair. And gosh he can act. He is practically my dream guy.” Belle gushes dreamily staring at the wall.

“So where is this dream guy taking you?” I question keeping my eyes focused on the TV.

“Well, he said there is this movie coming out called ‘Second Fiddle’. It is a rom-com, and then grab a bite to eat at Sonic.” She smiled wide showing off her perfectly straight teeth.

“Hmm that’s nice,” I smirk getting a perfect idea.

Friday, April 22, 6:00 p.m.

Pulling into the Cinemax parking lot, I get a spot in the farthest, darkest corner so Bella doesn’t recognize my car when they get here. 

It was easy to find the theatre the date would take place at. We live in a very small town and this was the only theatre showing ‘Second Fiddle’ in a 20-mile radius. It is also located in a Plaza with a Sonic, so this must be the location.  

Bella told me their movie should start around 6:45, so I arrived at the movie theatre 45 minutes early so my plan can fall into action flawlessly. 

One: I have to buy a ticket without them seeing me.

Two: I have to find my seat first so they don’t see me come into the theatre.

Three: I have to find a hidden seat, but somewhere I can also keep an eye on things.

Walking into the Cinemax there is practically no one here. Perfect. I quickly pay for my ticket and begin my search for the perfect seat.

I end up sitting on the top row in the right corner. It gives me the perfect view of all the seats in front of me. But it is too far in the corner that it’s too dark to recognize me. Now all I have to do is wait.

Friday, April 22, 6:30 p.m.

It wasn’t long until people start filing into the seats. And then finally I hear the giggle that makes every boy in our grade swoon. Bella is here. Luckily she and Jackson walk right in and take the seats 3 rows in front of me. I instantly know they did not notice me because Bella would have said something immediately. Instead, they sit quietly in my perfect line of sight.

The advertisements before the movie started, but all I could think about is John’s slimy greasy arm wrapped around Bella. They sit and chat about what seems like random things, but because of the whispering I only catch a few words like “Favorite food”, “Basketball”, “Biology class”.

The movie starts and Bella leans her head on Jeremiah’s shoulder. This is becoming hard to endure. Watching him make her laugh the way I used to. Watching him tuck her beautiful brown locks behind her ear. 

I know I followed them to this date to protect my best friend. And make sure he doesn’t step out of line. But I will never do this ever again. The pain is just too much to bear. I don’t know why I feel an overwhelming sense of jealousy at this moment when I watch them together. While I watch him make her happy. Am I jealous cause I never had a boyfriend before? To be fair I never been interested. 

Is there something wrong with me?

Friday, May 6, 11:20 a.m.

For two weeks I watch Bella and Jasper get closer. They hang out constantly and the only time I can see my best friend is during rehearsals, but the whole time she is with him. I still go to show my support and give my encouragement. From afar. But every day is worse and worse. Every day their relationship grows just a tad more. First, it was the longing looks from across the room. Then it was the hand on the shoulder while speaking. Now they are constantly touching and hugging whenever they get the chance. Their eyes can’t seem to stay away from each other. 

The looks of pure adoration and puppy love are starting to get really annoying.

Today they are going over the same scene they have been doing for the past two days when I see Bella jump up and down in excitement and nod her head feverishly. I’m instantly curious. This isn’t a part of the scene so what is going on? Did he ask her on another date?

Bella starts sprinting up the stairs to where I’m sitting.

“Talia, OMG you wouldn’t believe what just happened. Justin asked me to be his girlfriend!” She shouts out of breath. 

Girlfriend? My chest starts to feel heavy as I let it all sink in. She has never been in a relationship before. What if she is not ready? What if he tries to pressure her? What if she stops hanging out with m-

“Talia, did you hear me? I said Justin asked me to be his girlfriend!” She laughs breaking me out of my train of thought.

“Oh yeah, that’s great Bells,” I put on the most sincere smile I can muster.

She nods smiling brightly, hugs me quickly, and runs back to the stage.

What am I going to do now?

Tuesday, June 7, 1:40 p.m.

The past month has been hell on earth. Every time I tried to make plans with Bella she cancels or flaked to hang out with Jace and her new theatre friends. We don’t text or facetime anymore. The only time we talk or see each other is when we have classes together. I stopped going to her rehearsals because it was too much seeing them smooching and attached to the hip.

I’ve come to the realization that I’m in love with my best friend. There is no other reason why I would feel this way. Of course, I was always jealous when she got any male attention. But I just thought it was because she was getting attention and not me. But I’ve never been interested in boys. I’ve never been interested in anybody besides her.

I started to despise Juan for taking my best friend away from me. My love. But I despised him, even more, when I realized how perfect they are for each other. His outgoing personality pulls Belle out of her shell, while Belle’s tame and responsible personality keeps him in check. It is the perfect dynamic and the whole school see’s it. 

Bella and Justin - I shiver at the use of his terribly boring name - have that whirlwind romance, the type of love that blossoms quickly and moves fast. The type of love story people would gush about in movie theatres. It makes me sick thinking of all the ways they are perfect for each other. I can’t keep sitting here watching this love story unfold, it’s not fair to me. I have to tell her how I feel.

That is why I am standing here today - outside the auditorium - waiting for the play rehearsals to finish.

The doors open and I turn my head searching for my Juliet. After five seconds of looking I spot her shiny chocolate brown hair near the water fountain.

“Hey, Bella can I talk to you for a second, please?” I asked practically begging her with my eyes.

“Talia I’m sorry Justin and I were just heading back to his place. Maybe next time.” She goes to turn away from me, but I quickly grab her wrist to stop her.

“Please? It’ll be quick.” I beg, really wanting to get this over with.

“Is everything okay? Justin wait here, I’ll be back in a minute.” She moves to grab my hand that’s on her wrist and pulls me into the ladies’ room.

“Bella listen. I know you’re dating Justin, but I just got to get this off my chest,” I paused “Bella I love you, and not in the way a woman loves a friend, but in the way, a woman loves a man. I know you don’t feel that way about me, but I thought you should know. And I hope we remain friends.” 

Silence is all that is left in the ladies’ room once I finished my rant. Sullen, ominous and cold silence.

Bella opens her mouth like she is gonna say something but quickly shuts it. She gives me a once over with a face overtaken by disgust. 

“Ew,” she shakes her head and exits the room.

Ew. I don’t know what I was expecting but “Ew” was not it. She is supposed to be my best friend and it looked like at that moment she hated me.

I deserve better than to watch the person I love have a magical love story with another.

I deserve better than to be pushed to the side and forgotten like some useless side character she doesn’t care about anymore.

I deserve better than some stupid unrequited love.

I deserve my own whirlwind romance and love story.

And now that I finally faced my truth, and let it all out, that is exactly what I’m going to get.