The Proposal

Please, don’t do it. Jenny thought as George bent down on one knee. She looked away. She couldn’t bear to experience the embarrassment of what was about to happen. How could it be happening? There were literally no signs leading up to this.

Jenny thought to herself, okay, let’s see. I woke up, everything seemed fine. I slept fine. Except for the slight crick in my neck. No biggie. Okay…got dressed…wait. No, I didn’t get dressed first, I went to the bathroom, then contemplated taking a shower or not. I still had one more good day of hair which meant no need to wash it and I hardly broke a sweat yesterday so I can probably go today without a shower…okay, so no shower. Then, I got dressed, fed the cats and dog, made coffee, read for a bit, wrote some words…How did this happen? My day was going normal? Why would he do this?

Jenny peeked toward George through the side of her eye. He hadn’t moved. Were there signs of this? He had been acting a bit strange the last few days but he’s always a little strange, so that can’t be it. We didn’t even have that type of relationship. I mean, we have sex and all of that but we don’t even talk about the future or marriage or kids or buying a house or living together for that matter. He’s allergic to all my animals so he never stays over. How can he ask me to marry him if he can’t even be around my animals? He doesn’t expect me to GIVE THEM ALL UP, DOES HE? That’s a total deal breaker. I mean, I wasn’t even wanting him to marry me but if he did ask…I would say no so fast if it meant giving up my…I can’t even think about it.

But I am thinking about it. I can’t believe this is how my day is going. Why? Seriously, why me? I thought he had another girlfriend on the side? I think he does. Doesn’t he? What am I saying? Of course, he doesn’t have another girlfriend. Now, I’m just reaching. Of course, I’m reaching! What am I supposed to say here? How am I suppose to answer? I don’t want to embarrass him. He probably took a lot of time to plan.

I haven’t even given him any reason to do it. I mean, I THOUGHT I was giving him reason NOT to for crying out loud.  I’ve done all the things to be great girlfriend material not wife material. Let’s see, I don’t bug him when he’s with his friends. I do all the sexy stuff his married friends say their wives don’t do. I answer his booty calls, even if I have a deadline the next day. I hope he doesn’t think great girlfriend equates to great wife?!

Think about it Jenny. You don’t like cleaning. I know! I mean, I do the basics because, you know, I’m not a total slob and the cat and dog hair is really annoying, but dusting? Forget it!

You aren’t much of a cook; although, you do make killer cookies. So true! I practically exist on nachos! I should have been a baker. Should have opened that bakery five years ago when I had the chance. Can you imagine where our life would be if I had opened the bakery? Well, for one thing, I wouldn’t be standing here replaying my life while hoping my boyfriend doesn’t propose to me in front of strangers, that’s for sure.

Or would I? I can imagine it all now. I’m carrying a fresh tray of my award-winning peanut butter and jelly cookie bars to the bakery counter when Jack enters. He’s tall with dark wavy hair and blue green eyes. He’s the chef from the restaurant next door. He’s come for the mini dessert pastries I make for his restaurant.

Good morning Jenny, he says, good morning, I say back smiling. I set my tray down and the side of my hand touches his. It feels electric. We lock eyes over the counter. Jenny, he says, I’ve never noticed how green your eyes are. He gazes intently into my eyes. How beautiful you look in the morning with your hair a mess and flour on your cheek. I hope this doesn’t sound forward. I know we’ve never dated or spent any time together beyond me picking up the pastries you bake but I have this overwhelming urge to take you in my arms and never let go. Oh Jack!, I say, trying to keep myself from fainting behind the counter. Jack takes my hand and leads me around the counter to the front where he is, scoops me into his arms and says, Jenny, I love you. I’ve loved form the moment I first met you. I just didn’t realize it until now. Please, do me the honor of marrying me. I can’t go a moment longer without you in my life. Oh yes!, I say, completely caught up in the magic of it all. Oh yes! I will marry you Jack! Then he kisses me just like in the movies, all soft and yet passionate. Fireworks go off in my head and people who I didn’t notice come into the bakery clap and cheer for us.

Wow, that’s cheesy. I had no idea until now just how cheesy I am deep down. I cannot be that girl. No. The cheesiest I get is how much actual cheese I use while making nachos at home. That fantasy is so Hallmark. Not me. No way. Not that there’s anything wrong with it. It just can’t be me. Can it?

Have I wasted so much of my life pushing people away with my animals and being good girlfriend material so no one falls in love with me and asks me? Am I not wife material? If I was wife material, I don’t think I would want George as my husband. He spends way too much time with his friends and never invites me along. He’s allergic to my animals AND he never sleeps over. I think he may have commitment issues or… maybe there’s someone else?! Of course! To think of all the times, I got out of bed, got myself sexy, and drove over to his house at 3 am just because he called and said he was horny and wanted me to come over.

Well, that’s changing today is all I can say. No more miss nice guy. I mean gal. Next time he calls me in the middle of the night, I’ll tell him that’s what his hand is for buddy! Yeah. I’m going to start respecting myself more. Maybe go to the gym and start cooking healthier. Who am I kidding? I’m not going to the gym and nachos have all the food groups… so, ha! I don’t need him. I’ve got my animals to keep me company. I have plenty of work to do to keep me busy. Pretty sure if I called one or two of my friends, they would pick up and we could totally hang out. I mean, I’m pretty sure they would pick up. Whatever. I can make new friends. Meet new people and learn new things.

I like this idea. A new start. New friends. New adventures. Yes. That’s what I’m going to do. From now on. It’s going to be out with the old and in with the new! I feel so empowered! I like this! I’m so excited, I’m not sure what to do first?

Now, regarding the old. How do I break this new liberation to George? I don’t want to hurt his feelings even though he obviously hasn’t been too careful about mine this whole time I realize. Whatever I say, it has to be quick before he says whatever he’s going to say or ask and painless so neither one of feels bad. It’s not you, it’s me? So cliché. I mean, it isn’t completely wrong. He’s just not the right one for me. I’m ready to be free to meet new people and explore new things and he wants something else. Right?

I’ll say, George, there’s someone else. He’ll become upset, I’m sure, and ask who. I won’t be able to tell him because I don’t even know if Jack exists in real life so that may not work. I can still say there’s someone else and that someone is me. Yes, I’m going to date myself and get to know the real me. I’m going to find out what I need to do to open a bakery next to a restaurant so someday I can meet the handsome owner/chef, fall in love, and live happily ever after.

I’m sure he’ll be surprised and probably hurt but he’ll get over it. He’s good looking and charming and gets a long well with others. I’m sure another girl will come along in no time. It’s really better we get this out of the way now. Think of the time we would waste messing around when he could be with the woman of his dreams?

It’s better this way. I believe it now. Okay, here goes.

“George, I think we should stop seeing each other.” Jenny said as she turned toward George and looked down. He wasn’t on his knee anymore. He wasn’t even there. Where did he go? What the heck was going on? When did he leave? Where the heck did he go and how could he leave her standing there alone like that?

“Jenny!”

She heard her name being called and turned around. There was George walking toward her with another man. A tall man with dark wavy hair. “Jenny! Look who I saw across the park when I bent down to tie my shoe? My friend from college. He just opened a restaurant around the corner and waved me over to tell me about it. I told him about your killer cookies and he said he would love to try them. His name is Jack.”

Jack?! A restaurant? Around the corner? Keep it together Jenny. Don’t blow it. This is your future…“Nice to meet you Jack. I make the best peanut butter and jelly bars you’ll ever have in your entire life.”