The Resolve

Tara sat all alone in the woods, head bowed. The anguish in her heart kept tugging at her soul until she shook violently, tears flowing freely like a river without boundaries. Mother Nature appears to sympathize with her as trees released leaves on her frail skin. The feel of them was so comforting.

Like she was hit by something, she jolted. “I have had enough!, I choose to take charge of my life. I choose to rewrite my life story from zero to hero henceforth. I choose to live life on my terms. My dreams and aspirations are  taking root from today. No one can hold me back from being all I'm meant to be!, whatever work I need to put in to reach my goals I will do it but I'm never going back to that house and to that miserable life!", she vowed as she wiped her tears.

Tara was just 20years old but her soul had grown deep in anguish over the years. She had been cunningly married off to Steve the son of an influential man in her small town because her father couldn't afford to pay off the debt he incurred when her mother was sick.

The time limit given to her father to pay back was too short. Her father had to agree to marry her off to the son of the man he owed so his debt could be forgiven.

She tried not to remember how it all happened but she couldn't help but reflect what befell her years back.

“Wake up Tara I have something important to tell you,” her father said tapping her arms.

It was late at night and she didn't understand what her father wanted to say to her that couldn't wait till morning. She frowned and sat up. Her mother was also in the room and she looked rather worried.

“Papa?Mama?,what is the matter?” she asked, suspecting all was not well. Her father, a lanky middle-aged carpenter smiled at her. His eyeballs had fallen deep into its socket from years of hard work but those eyes were ever so kind.

He held her cheeks with his two hands. “I want you to know that I love you and I always want the best for you”. She nodded still confused. She looked at her mother, a petty trader whom a strange ailment dealt a heavy blow, since then she couldn't move without the aid of crutches. Her mother was shedding tears. “Why are you crying mother?”, Tara asked, growing restless.

Her father smiled “ Don't mind your mother”, he said “We are going to miss you that's why she is crying”

“Miss me???” she asked, still shocked. Her parents nodded “ But I'm not going anywhere!, what is happening?"

There was a heavy silence in the room. Her father forced a smile “ You are getting married my dearest” her father said squeezing her hand. She did not hear right. It must have been her ears. “Who is getting married?” He smiled but beyond those smiles, she could see some tears he was trying so hard to hide “You are getting married to Mr Dickinson’s city son Steve”

She pushed him away in shock. 

“ Bb..b..but father I'm only a child. I don't want to get married yet. Remember I want to study so I can be a medical doctor someday. That way I would help sick people.Also, I will be able to take care of you and mother!” She cried.

Her father looked at her lovingly. If only she knew that he had no choice but agreed to the arrangement so that she could go to the big city and live her dream of becoming a medical doctor.

Mr Dickinson had promised that his son Steve would train her in school and that she could live her dream of being a medical doctor while being a wife to his son.

Her mother spoke next. “Dearest daughter, we are so sorry but we can't afford to fund your dream of becoming a madam someday but this young man will take care of you and make sure your dreams come through” she said forcing a smile.

She thought about it for a while then she asked “I can become a medical doctor someday with his help?” Her parents nodded. She thought for a while.

“I will marry him”, she said to her parents’ surprise. Not like she had a choice. She would do anything to make her parents happy.

The memory brought her shivers. How innocent and naive she was then. If only she knew what awaited her, she would have fought tooth and nail to resist her parents’ decision. If only she could turn back the hands of time.

 Steve didn't come to get her. The marriage rites were done in his absence.

She was given an address to her new home. Her father walked her to the train station and kissed her goodbye. The train took her hundreds of miles away from everyone she loved and everything she was familiar with.

She was full of expectations for the future. Her journey of a lifetime had just begun. She couldn’t wait to live out her dreams and make her parents proud. She was also eager to meet her husband.

Right now, all that dream has been shattered. 

Contrary to her expectations, Steve was a hardened drug dealer who gambled, smoked and womanized. 

As she walked in through that door, that very day, what she saw, scared her. 

Everywhere stunk of cigarettes and alcohol. Cigarette ashes and bottles of alcohol, littered all over the room. Three men were sprawled on the floor snoring heavily. They looked like low budget boxing champions. She felt like running away but where and whom could she run to in this big city? 

She turned and took a step forward when suddenly a hand grabbed her ankle tightly. She screamed out of fear.

“Ssshhhh!”  She went numb.

“You must be Tara, I'm Steve” he said amidst hiccups, eyes half-closed. “Pops told me you were coming,make

yourself at home”

“Home?” she thought “This is not home, this is hell!”

She felt pity for Mr Dickinson who wasn't aware of the kind of life his dear son was living in the city.

The two other men both woke up at once and were both looking at her in a way she didn't like. “ She is much younger than we thought Steve,” said one of them. “But we can still put her to good use,” said the other. The three men laughed hysterically.

Looking out the window every morning, she saw other children going to school. She wanted to go to school just like them.

Once she received a heavy beating from Steve because she kept begging to be sent to school.He had warned her never to mention anything about school ever again.

Steve turned her into everything she never wanted to be. He had forced her to become a pickpocket. When he ran out of cash, he sent her to beg on the street with the pretence that she was an orphan.He gave her out to his friends as a trophy when he lost any bet to them.

What had he not done to her? Was it the abortions he made her go through?

Or was it how worthless he made her feel by his harsh words and actions?

She couldn't go back home because her mother had advised her that a woman’s place is by her husband no matter what. If only her mother knew she lived with a monster.

Once he had threatened to kill her and her parents if she sends them words

about his dirty dealings. 

It was the grace of God that she was still alive. She had near death experiences while trying to escape from the police as she carried drugs for him.

She had accepted her fate and developed a thick skin over the years but what about her dreams and that of her parents?

The years before, she kept lying to herself that he would change and keep his promise to educate her. She hoped he would become a better person.

There was a shift in her mindset. He had conditioned her to think lowly of herself but now she knows better, thanks to the radio program she had been listening to lately. It had opened her eyes to many things.

She had run away from Steve and his wickedness. He had beaten her again when she tried to assert her opinion about starting legit business instead of shady dealings.

She had run into the wood after the brutality and she concluded there and then that she wasn't going back.

She felt her shirt pocket, she had some money on her. She ran to the train station and got into a train not caring where it was headed. All she wanted was to go very far away from Steve and her old life.

As the train moved, she said goodbye to everything and everyone that had ever dragged her in the mud. 

In her mind, she welcomed every good thing that could come her way. Her dreams were already taking shape.

She would get a job, save some money and pay her tuition fees.

She would fulfil her parents' dreams. 

It may take time but one thing she knows for sure is that her wounds will surely heal….