Murder and Manga

"We can see Princess Pearl if we go to Ballroom A this afternoon," Cam said. His eyes twinkled as he ran his finger across the convention map. The white silk of his glove slid over its glossy surface with ease. His smile faded as he furrowed his brow. "But if we go to Ballroom C, we can meet the creators of the Dark Phantasma comics.  At least, I think that's who we'd meet, anyway." He brought the map closer to his face as he squinted. "Which one should we go to?"

Hank rolled his eyes as he turned to face him. He huffed and snatched the map out of Cam's hands. "We came here to do a job, remember? And for heaven's sake, just put on your glasses."

Attendees dressed in an array of costumes passed by as they studied the map. They ignored the odd looks and laughs aimed at them.

Cam laughed and shook his head. "The glasses would ruin the costume. And why can't we do our job and have some fun while we're at it?"

Hank glared at him. The generous application of face makeup lessened its intensity. They'd had to use more than the costume called for since Cam hadn't been able to find masks. "I don't know about you, but there's nothing fun about wearing maid costumes to me." He tried to adjust his thigh holster as sneakily as possible. "And why are our skirts so short? This isn't what I meant when I told you to pick up some disguises."

Cam lifted his chin and adjusted his frilly apron. The fabric was pulled taught across his broad chest. "These were the only costumes Costco had available when I went yesterday. And besides, being maids at an anime convention is the perfect disguise." He smirked as he struck a pose. "And I think this dress makes my legs look great."

"Your gun is showing."

Cam cursed under his breath as he shoved his thigh holster up beneath his skirt. He blushed and scratched his head as he laughed.

Hank rolled his eyes. He took a pen out of his apron pocket, circled a room on the map, and showed it to Cam. "We're heading to Ballroom B. That's where Worthington will be."

Cam's eyes went wide as he gasped. "You don't mean Yolanda Worthington, do you?"

"Yes. That's who the bounty's for."

"No," Cam said softly as he shook his head. "No, not Yolanda! What'd she do to get a bounty put on her? Who would want the creator of Purple Pilot dead?"

"Don't know, don't care." Hank shoved his way past a group of people dressed in sailor costumes as he shoved the map into his apron pocket. He wasn't particularly tall, but he was stocky and muscular. He'd been that way even when they were kids. Cam gave the sailors an awkward smile as he ran to catch up to him.

It was hard to ignore all of the different stalls as they wound their way through the crowd. Normally Cam would have stopped at each of them, but Hank walked by without giving them so much as a glance.

A popular anime's chaotic theme music blared from a set of speakers at a body pillow stall as they entered Ballroom B. A good portion of the stalls by the entrance were dedicated to prints of popular characters.

Cam unconsciously patted his butt, then frowned when he remembered that he had to leave his wallet in the car since he didn't have anywhere to put it. The apron pocket—his only pocket—had been too small.

"Up there," Hank said in a low voice. He pointed at a woman sitting behind a table with a long line of attendees in front of it. "Is that her?"

Cam pursed his lips and nodded. "Yeah, that's her."

The woman sitting behind the table smiled as she signed a manga before handing it to the person dressed as a flamboyant ninja in front of her. Two bulky men stood behind her on either side. Hank moved toward her, but jerked to a stop when Cam grabbed his arm.

Cam gave him a pleading look. "Are you sure we have to do this? Yolanda is an inspiration to aspiring mangakas everywhere—"

"Yes, Cam, I'm sure of it. A paycheck is a paycheck."

Cam held onto his arm for a moment longer before sighing and letting go. People in garishly bright costumes shoved their way by as they headed for the back of the line.

Hank watched him for a moment before cracking the smallest of smiles and patting his shoulder. "Hey, don't look so sad. We do this job, pay the hospital, and we're home free. You can go back to school, and I can go back to selling vacuums."

"Right." Cam averted his gaze and absently rubbed his stomach. "Dumb gallbladder."

"Come on, don't be like that. You couldn't help that it burst—"  

He was interrupted by the bang of a gun being fired. People screamed and ran away. One of the bodyguards tackled a man to the floor. The other had shoved Yolanda down behind the table. A smoking bullet hole marred the large divider behind them where the shooter had shot wide.

"Morons," Hank sighed as he unholstered his pistol. "I should have guessed that there'd be a lot more bounty hunters here besides us." He ground his teeth together as he glared at the three pairs of bounty hunters running toward Yolanda. "These idiots are gonna ruin everything—Cam!"  

Cam ducked low as he darted toward Yolanda and her bodyguard. He shoved his glasses on, then glanced over his shoulder at Hank. "I can't do it, Hank! I can't let Yolanda die!"

The bodyguard beside Yolanda groaned as someone in a panda suit tased him. Yolanda yelped as she climbed over the table.

Cam raised his pistol and trained it on the panda. His finger had been on the trigger when the gun flew out of his hands in a shower of orange sparks. He looked in the direction of the shot.

A woman dressed as a fighter from a video game shoved a new magazine into her rifle as she grinned at him. "This one's mine, kid. Why don't you let the grown-ups handle this?"

He threw himself onto the floor as the woman fired at him again. He could feel the bullet pull on his skirt as it zipped by a few inches away from him. He scrambled on his hands and knees behind the table.

"Get back!" Yolanda shouted as she brandished the taser at him. He yelped as he fell backward onto his butt. The person in the panda costume was lying still a few feet away.

"Don't! It's okay! I'm here to help!" Cam raised his hands up beside his head as he stared at her with wide eyes.

Yolanda gritted her teeth and waved the taser at him. "Why should I trust you?"

Cam peeked over the table. He ducked again, and a moment later a bullet flew through the air where his head had been. They didn't have time for this.

"Listen, someone's got a bounty out for you. That's why everyone's trying to kill you. Me and my brother—"

They both flinched as a spray of bullets peppered the plastic divider a few feet away from them. Cam cursed, hesitated, then grabbed Yolanda's shoulders. "We were going to kill you, but I can't do it. You're Yolanda Worthington! I can't just let you die." He jerked his thumb toward the fighting. "And it's not like you have any better options right now."  

Yolanda pursed her lips as her eyes searched his eyes. After a few moments, she nodded. "Okay. Get me out of here."  

Cam smiled and nodded, then grabbed her hand and led her toward the end of the table. He peered around the corner toward the fighting. Hank's skirt flew up as he leaped down from a stall toward a man in a lame superhero costume. Cam thought he'd shoot him, but instead, he chucked the entire gun at the man's head. That was what he usually did when he ran out of bullets.

All of the bounty hunters were too busy fighting one another to notice them as Cam led Yolanda through the stalls toward the exit at the other end of the room. He glanced over his shoulder at her. She had her phone out and was typing something.

"What're you doing?" he asked.

"Calling an Uber." She paused to motion toward the exit. "There's a truck loading area that way. I can have them meet us there."

"Oh." He wished he'd thought of that. They'd have to make sure to leave the driver a very good tip—well, Yolanda would have to make sure. He didn't have his wallet on him.

It occurred to him as they crawled under a stall that Yolanda probably had a pretty good view of his smiley face boxers. He blushed as he glanced over his shoulder at her and tugged his skirt down, but she was looking in the direction of the fighting. A part of him felt disappointed, but mostly he was—

Cam groaned as a heeled boot kicked him in the face. Yolanda yelped. He could hear the taser crackle as she let go of his hand.

"You leave Yolanda alo—" he said.

The woman dressed like a fighter who'd shot his gun earlier clicked her tongue and shook her head as she kicked him again. He made a pained sound as he curled in on himself. The heels on her boots did not feel good on his ribs.

The woman smiled as she trained the barrel of her rifle at him. "What'd I tell ya, kid? You should have stayed out of things while you had—"

The woman grunted as someone slammed into her feet first, sending them both tumbling to the floor. She cursed as she scrambled toward her gun, which had slid a few feet away.

Cam pushed his glasses farther up the bridge of his nose. "Hank?"

Hank was already back on his feet and running toward the woman. Both Cam and Yolanda's jaws dropped as they watched him kick the rifle away. He grinned as he twirled a gleaming katana.

Yolanda sighed as she watched Hank. "He's very sexy."

Cam guffawed. "What?" His voice sounded nasally as blood streamed from his nose.

The woman's body went limp as Hank kicked her head. They always tried to avoid killing people when possible. It was one of the few things they completely agreed on.

Cam laughed as the tension that had been building in his shoulders faded. "Boy, am I glad you got here when you—"

Both he and Yolanda yelped as Hank brought the katana down toward her in a shimmering arc. Cam threw himself over her. The blade stopped a few inches above them.

"Get out of the way, Cam," Hank growled. "We have a job to do."

Cam shook his head. "No! No, you can't do this!"

Hank scoffed. "This is for your benefit—"

"Double! I'll pay you double!" Yolanda exclaimed.

Hank narrowed his eyes. "Double?"  

She nodded ardently. "Yes! I'll pay you double whatever they're offering you."

Hank's grip tightened on the katana's hilt. Cam's heart raced as he waited for him to say something. After what felt like ages, but was actually just a few moments, Hank let his arm drop by his side as he held a hand out toward him.

"All right. We'll take your deal," he said. He smiled a crooked smile at Yolanda as Cam took his hand and staggered onto his feet.

Yolanda nodded as she stood and smoothed out her skirt. "But there's a catch—" she said.

They all whipped their heads in the direction they'd come from as guns fired. More gunshots and shouting echoed throughout the room.

"Come on!" Cam said as he grabbed Yolanda's hand and sprinted toward the exit.

A silver sedan pulled to a stop by the curb outside the open loading bay. Yolanda smiled as she looked up from her phone and pointed to it. "That's our ride!"  

"Get in!" Hank commanded as he flung the car's backdoor open and practically threw them in. A few pairs of bounty hunters shouted as they streamed out of the exit toward them.

The Uber driver gave them a confused look as Hank lunged into the backseat and slammed the door shut.

"Drive! Drive!" Yolonda yelled as she slammed a hand down on the car's console.

The driver's eyes went wide as he shifted gears and slammed on the gas pedal. The car jerked forward into the street. They all looked out the back window. The bounty hunters that had been chasing them shouted in anger as the sedan sped down the road away from them, and soon, they were nothing but specks in the distance.

They sat in silence as they looked at one another before laughing with relief. Hank reached over Yolanda and clapped Cam's knee. "That was wild. I'm almost glad we're going back to selling vacuums and school—"

"About that," Yolonda said. "That's a part of our deal."

Hank and Cam gave her confused looks. "We didn't kill you," Hank said. "That was our deal."

"Well, I didn't get a chance to say what the other part of our deal was." Yolanda smiled as she patted his cheek. "I was going to say I'd double your pay if you helped me and agreed to be my new bodyguards." Her smile widened. "And you and I are going to go on a date."

"Now hold on just a moment—" Cam said.

"Done," Hank said. He smiled as he held a hand out toward her.

Cam guffawed and clutched at his chest as Yolanda and Hank shook hands and smiled at each other. Cam pouted his lips as he sank down into the seat.

Hank didn’t even like anime.