You maybe me

There was a spot, an invisible door, a window, where there was a bend in time and space. When she opened it, time stopped; everything fell away and disappeared. It was quite and peaceful, full of possibilities; dreams, goals, visions and fantasies. Where hope and passion stood strong and doubt and fear hid trembling beneath. Excitement swelled up in her soul, to feel alive and know what she is. She closed her eyes as the breeze swept across her face and moved through her hair, feeling the warmth of the sunshine. She smiled knowing everything is just as it should be, right now in this moment, a piece of perfect. She craved those perfect moments of being, feeling and love. She created them and sought them and when she stepped into these moments this sense would wash over her and she couldn't do anything but smile and be, feeling everything in that moment and soaking it all up in its entirety.

    She always felt deeply about everything, throughout life she unknowingly had glimpses into the soul, unconsciously, but it was the torment and suffering she endured that awoke her and now consciously she is, her soul. The very being, she is and always will be, accending from the ashes of the very thing that set her ablaze, rising as did the Phoenix, into a new form, transforming into something greater than the old self; the ego. And it is just as magical and beautiful as the words in any fairytale. Tragity and suffering are incredibly beautiful and how out of the ashes what becomes, is true majic, true love; the soul.

    The divine, source or God; we have a piece of that, knowledge and wisdom and love, we have to go within to find it, shed the body and mind detach from it and find what remains, what is enturnal, never ceasing; the soul. To understand and know love, you have to be love. She was never looking for love, she had just escaped years of torment, torture, caged and locked away unable to release and be free within herself, she was building a new life from the ground up. Then Love found her, a moment of looking up and meeting his eyes, watching his smile. She saw him, as if she never had really, seen someone before, to really look and notice something beyond the case that held who she was. She felt the same energy radiating off of him like the steam from his warm body hitting the cold air. There, began the shift in the world, a push and pull of energy, it was undeniable. The familiarity of him, it was not getting to know him but, remembering. She would swim in his eyes and glide through his hair as their heads connected. There was so much understanding and knowing, looking into his eyes, a never ending feeling, comfort. It was their soul, it knew it had met itself and it triggered an awakening. She was soaring high above, up into the beyond along side him, a feeling that overpowered any other, unknown territory, something so real, primal, natural. It was a state of being, a true natural, when felt from the soul, that is a real and true love, you find God, it is God.

  Just as she was ascending she started to shed, she started falling apart piece by piece and bit by bit until she crumbled completely and dropped down deep into the depths of darkness and despair, crying and screaming for him and giving up, the beauty and majic and this love she finally knew was gone. It was the egos being destroyed, she was transforming into who she was made to be, for this she was born. He was also transforming, preparing to embrace his new form he was entering. It was an overwhelming experience, the ego melting away and reveiling the soul, it was true suffering for both of them. It was unbearable for her to see him and avoid him when the universe was pulling them together, it was an unstoppable force. It was unavoidable, stopping and getting lost but a moment within that energy and the soul in a state of oneness, with the unspoken words lingering in the air between them. The energy they created around them overpowered any words that could be spoken, they knew. The pain and torture, the craving and longing for him to wrap her up in his arms, easing her chin up and seeing her, knowing her. Pressing his lips against hers once again and professing that it has always been her; the her that is him.

   He didn't and the pain was agonizing, the tightness in her chest, her heart would not calm, the nausea she felt, she was in the midst of the dark night of the soul, in the depths of despair and while trapped there all was open and flooding in all around her, the mind playing tricks on her, confusing her, she was in the inbetween of reality, a place so deep and so dark; many do not return from. Just as she was giving up and calling it home a light shined down and as it got closer, she started to climb, to meet it and there he was, she climbed up to him and him down to her and they met, there in the middle of despair, in the midst of suffering and became one, they United and she knew he understood now, she saw it in his eyes, oh how his eyes held so much pain, so much sadness, he knew then but she didn't. He already knew what he had to do, he took awhile to be with her and touch her in all the ways she fantasized about, intimate, so much passion and an unspoken love, a love that took them away, somewhere they could be, where they were one, whole, complete. He didn't want to part but she had to keep climbing and he knew for this he was born and therefore she would be reborn, them, their soul. She didnt know she was looking into his eyes for the last time, she didnt know he was telling her goodbye. Just as she pulled her hand from his face, he smiled and she knew then it was always him and always will be, but he let go, her soul screamed out, her hand reaching for him but he disappeared down into the darkness, she was in disbelief and waited, she waited for him to start to appear, but then she knew, she knew he would not be coming back. But She had just made it back up, she knew she couldn't go back down after him, she feared she would not escape. She had already ascended halfway from the depths of darkness to reach him, she had to get the rest of the way back up to the light. She embraced the pain and suffering ahead; fingers bleeding, clenching the cool dark stone, she pressed her cheek to the cool stone and thanked it, thankful for this way out and embracing the pain and the fight of ascending to the light, fighting to make it, determined to reach it, and understanding now, and accepting what is and what needs to be done and what she needs to conquer in order for her to ascend and live; he had to die.

  She is sitting with her legs dangling over the edge looking out over the darkness into and within the light, the light that saved her, that came and found her and lead her back, the light that shined strength and wisdom over her and down beneath her feet is the darkness that once consumed her and in death, and in life it is complete. The soul is in a union, it can never be undone, it is complete now. She was saved as he was sacrificed, but United at last in an everlasting unison. Sitting in the light she knows now, it was never about anything but awakening her soul and connecting her soul with God. Deeping her understanding and relationship with God, she experienced the ultimate and true real love, there had always been this window, she had to awaken to find it, open and enter into it; where she found her soul, she met love; she met, God.