The Price of Candy

“I dare you to lift something from the corner store. Doesn’t have to be big, but we’ll be watching so no cheating, got it?” She stands with her hands on her hips, looking down at me with malice in her pale blue eyes. Matty has always been a bit of a hellcat.

Who set fire to the school by trying to use a Bunsen burner to light her cigarette? Matty. Who stole all the liquor from the teacher’s lounge? Matty. Who set off the fire alarm during exam day so that her best friend could get another night to study? Matty, of course. She had nerves of steel and didn’t give a flying Effer about what the adults thought of her. She was our hero, but in truth we were all a little afraid of her. Especially me, after all I knew her better than anyone.

“Alright.” I say tentatively, knowing that I didn’t really have a choice. I’m not a thief, normally, but Matty has this way of getting you to do what she wants. She plays us like pieces on a chess board and we hop merrily along, just wanting to please her. My heart starts to pound as I walk to the next block and into the corner shop.

 Inside I see rows of convenience items, noodle bowls, instant rice, generic hot sauce. By the front, the candy display sits in all its colorful splendor. That is my target. The only things small enough to be nicked and hidden in a pocket or a sleeve. I look at the little old man behind the counter and my heart clenches with guilt. I don’t want to do this I think, but as I glance out the window Matty is standing there on her tiptoes, nose pressed into the glass. Blue eyes watching, waiting for me to fail.

I am out of favor this week, Matty has decided that to get back into her good graces I will need to prove myself. Show the girls that I bring something to the table. Sometimes she talks like a mob boss, and I wonder if maybe she didn’t watch too many of the old godfather movies.

This was all a game to her, but I could see the damage we caused when we followed her lead. The science lab Matty set on fire had to be closed for weeks so that it could be repaired, leaving science lessons to be taken in the gym which made for a whole different sort of misery for those who actually like the class. After the liquor theft, the teachers were resentful and mean, until the booze was replaced. It never occurred to Matty that liquor costs money and that now the teachers, who could get no justice after the theft, had to go and spend their own hard-earned money to replace it. No wonder they were bitter. As for the fire alarm, that had set the school into chaos, some kids taking it as an excuse to destroy and vandalize, by the time things were back in order, we had to do three extra days of school after the break began for the rest of the district, to make up for time lost. No one blamed Matty of course. She was a hero.

 Now she was asking me to steal from a little old man who’s only source of income was this store. I gritted my teeth and approached the counter. In the movies, the main character asks the clerk for cigarettes or a lighter, off the back wall so he would turn around, but I’m 14. What’s worse I look like I’m 12. I’m the youngest in our group, which makes the others think I look innocent but that’s not how it works. It just means I must be clever, and it’s a real pain in my butt.

 As I get to the counter, I can see the old man eyeing me suspiciously, I smile at him with my best little girl smile. Looking around at the candy selection I pick out a chocolate bar and a bag of candy. Both items on the counter, I reach into my pocket and produce a few coins. A dollar, two nickels, a dime. I glance up and see Matty waving at me, she had her hands about her face as if trying to peer through the gloom and mouthing the words “ what are you doing?” I wave her off casually as I scatter the change onto the counter.

 “This is not enough for both.” He tells me in a thick clipped accent I can’t place.” You will have to put back the chocolate.” I nod at him sadly and take the chocolate off the counter, I look down scanning the rows of bars and with a smile pretend to put the chocolate back. Instead, I stuff it into my sleeve and pop back up to face the old man. He stares at me for a moment and I’m sure, absolutely certain that he knows. He scoops up the change off the counter and pushes the bag of candy towards me. Heart pounding, I thank him in a squeak and bolt out of the store as though I were on fire.

The girls walk behind me as we make our way across the street and into the park. Matty always likes to keep her distance until we get out of sight of the crime scene. In the park we sneak behind the bushes in the back left corner of the lawn where we made our clubhouse. It’s really just a hollow created when one of the bushes at the center had sickened and died, but we filled it with paper decorations and dollar store fairy lights. It was the only place any of us really got any privacy and it's where we kept our treasure box.

  Last year, for my birthday I received an old looking pirate treasure chest filled with candy and glittery plastic doubloons. When I showed it to the girls, they had decided that it would be perfect for all our booty. There was a look of glee in Matty’s eye that day and sometimes I wondered if her sticky fingered faze wasn’t a result of having a treasure chest to fill. Sometimes ideas would grip her, and she can’t stop until some kind of internal goal is achieved. I watch her closely, knowing that if any one is going to pay for Matty’s mistakes it would be us, but probably it would just be me. That is what you get for being the little sister, I think with a sigh.

  Once inside the safe space Matty turns on me. She glares at me with fury in her eyes and demands to know what happened. I smile, a defence mechanism, and pull the candy bar from my sleeve. It’s a little warm and slightly melted but it brings a smile to Matty’s face and her approval makes me breathe a sigh of relief. No water in the bed tonight, or beetles in my food. I was safe, I thought, for now.

 We hide the shiny wrapper in the treasure chest, proof of our conquest and when the light begins to dim, we all make our way to our separate homes. Matty walks a little ahead of me, as always, leading the way. She stops just before we reach our door and Matty gives me a rare genuine smile.

  “You did good, kid” she says to me,” that was pretty sneaky. I’ll take that bag of candy though.” She reaches into my pocket and grabs the bag. I knew this was going to happen and I didn’t fight. It's a small price to pay to be left alone. Matty is a legend, but I know the truth. The truth is Matty is afraid, just like the rest of us, only sometime ago there was a short circuit somewhere and Matty turned fear into aggression. I read about it in some of dad’s psychology books. One day when I’m older, if I survive Matty’s cat-like attention, school and teenage hood, I plan to become a doctor. Maybe help someone just like Matty, but really I just want to save someone like me.