Shanghaied on Dry Land

               He opened the heavy door and saw a long, dark corridor bringing him to exhibits on sailing and piracy on each side. Strangely, the only thing lighting the way to each exhibit was a series of book lights, one every few feet.

     Exhibits in the newly-opened Delmarva Maritime Museum had begun mapping out the story of ancient seafaring commerce and raids by buccaneers traveling along the Eastern Shore.

    John had agreed to meet his girlfriend Jane there to assemble Wicomico County, Md.’s contribution to the opening celebration, planned for later that summer.  

     Jane had texted him a half hour before and told him to join her in the building’s Main Hall. He arrived on time but opened the door to an empty exhibit hall.

   In fact, all the circumstances leading up to their meeting had left the young man with a great deal of suspicion and a strange tinge of eariness. Instead of just telling him the directions to the building, in a corner of the shore he knew little about, in a cellphone call or an email she had insisted on relaying them in five separate text messages, one at a time.  

     This began to sound more like a hunt for some of the treasure local folklore said pirates had buried on the museum grounds many years ago.

      After John looked around the entire building he found no sign of his lady love or any sign of the future exhibit.

        Was Jane again playing one of the practical jokes that had punctuated their six-month relationship?  Had she once again pranked him?

          When he reached for his cellphone to call her he suddenly dropped it and it slid under a low-hanging exhibit where his large hands could not reach it.

         Resolved to find a way out, he continued to follow along in the dimly-lit space and discovered that, rather than continuing in a straight line, every 10 feet or so the path twisted and turned. To him the space resembled one of the funhouses in the many old-timey amusement parks that once populated the resort area where the couple had met.

      On and on the boyfriend walked, growing more fearful with each step.  Then, out of the darkness, a door opened on the right side of the passageway, almost knocking him off his feet. Then it mysteriously slammed shut and he found it locked. He tried the other doors out of the museum with the same result.

     With that he went through the entrance into a second exhibit hall and stepped gingerly along what proved to be another winding trail illuminated again by book lights. At the end, he found himself in a room stacked high with books–all kinds of books–mystery novels, science fiction, reference books.

     Panicked and perspiring from head to toe, the boyfriend tried door after door and found them all locked.

      Suddenly, an old version of Webster’s Unabridged Dictionary fell from a dusty shelf above his head, covering John with dust and almost knocking him out.

      The dictionary fell open to the word faithfulness, and as the young man stared at the definition something swept him into the book and through another strange passage leading to another dimly-lit room.

       A theatre stood at the front of the room and, in the center of the room, Jane looked down on her beau from a podium on the stage, behind which she read from what appeared to be a legal book.

       John Smith, the Court of Modern Day Romance has summoned you here because you stand accused of cheating on your girlfriend with the blond-haired secretary in your firm.  If you admit to the charges and pledge repentance without a repeat of the offenses the court will allow you to go and live the rest of your life in peace.  Should you not repent and continue with your evil ways, you will be forced to live out your life only as a footnote in history in the Webster’s Unabridge Dictionary.  How say you?

      Totally perplexed and in disbelief of the entire scenario, he closed his eyes hoping the nightmare that apparently had taken him over soon would end. When he opened his eyes, nothing had changed.

      He tried to turn around and escape, but some strange force held him in the room inside the pages of the book.

       “Jane,” he shouted, “you have no idea what you are talking about. I never have cheated on you. If you have some strange power over me I’ll participate in your little game and plead guilty to your lie, just so this whole fantasy will end.  If you have somehow cooked up this whole deal to punk me I don’t see how our relationship can continue.”

        Then Judge Jane presented witness after witness, including Marie, the blond secretary, who said John was guilty as charged.

        Noone came forward to refute any of their claims.

        Just as the magistrate slammed down her gavel and prepared to have John’s sentence carried out, the podium disappeared, the book closed and the boyfriend found himself sitting in his car outside the museum.

       Suddenly, his cellphone rang and Jane appeared on its screen.

       “Gottcha,” she said, “Happy Birthday. Since you have served as a librarian for 10 years, I thought you would appreciate the literary humor. A few of your co-workers helped me install my special exhibit in the building. We also enlisted the help of the local theater company to carry out this little drama. Sorry if my present scared the hell out of you.”

       After John got over his temper tantrum about his girlfriend’s latest stunt, they did get a big laugh out of the joke.  He did insist that she treat him to the most elaborate and expensive birthday dinner their town’s most exclusive eatery could provide.

       As for any buried treasure, mental and physical exhaustion stopped him from pursuing another scary expedition.

       He wasn’t sure if he would devise a fitting response to her gift–or even if he had the imagination to dream one up.