Once more

           This room is too hot. I can’t help but want to complain over the sweltering degrees of the room especially provided that it’s damn near winter already. Fall is a season that I feel I could do without. There is something so fickle about it, at least in Marritonis. It’s November 3^rd, 2016, my name is Vini Wiesner, I am 15 years old, and I am currently spending my days between the padded walls of Bristico county facility for the mentally deranged. It is always too hot here. The facility should look into ceiling fans or windows without bars on them. I just want a breeze is that too much to ask? My brooding is only temporary as the sound of the dead bolt on my door clicks open. I supposed it must be 2:00 p.m. We have a strict schedule around here at 9 a.m. the nurse with the wiry blonde wig comes in and administers a perfectly healthy amount of some sort of substance meant to keep me calm or quiet of help me shit, or something. At 9:30 I get a wonderful five-star meal of microwaved eggs and imitation cheese with orange drink and the finest stale white bread this half of the world has ever tasted. By 2:00 it’s time for a second shot of something or other and then at this point my 12:30 lunch has solidified past the point of consumption, so luckily, I am allowed to starve until 5 p.m. Dinner here is almost exclusively meatloaf or spaghetti. I believe it’s safe to say that if I’m ever allowed past these walls my first meal will be something lacking any pasta, meat, or tomato. 8 p.m. if my final dose of the day and I don’t wake up until 8 a.m.

           Celia, my usual nurse has been absent on maternity leave for about a week now. She had left me in the very capable and brutal hands of her replacement Monty. He is far too serious for my liking. Monty enters the room in his white lab coat, and a tray in his hand. I pay half attention to him, I know the drill by now. I await the sharp pinch of the needle and instead I get two gloved fingers pressing a pill into mouth. The water comes quickly after it and I swallow if only to avoid drowning. I glare at him in confusion. “What was that!?” I demand an answer. “I already told you freakshow,” he hisses, “Ain’t my fault you don’t know how to listen.” He sneers at me and then pats my face. He leaves and bolts my door shut again. I kind of wish I hadn’t zoned out while he was speaking, it might have been helpful to know what’s in these things. I stand from the window sill I had been perched at and wander away from the barred windows.

 It’s been five years since I got here. If I’m quite honest I’m ready for a change of scenery. At first when I found out I would be fifteen again I felt mildly elated, to go back to a time in which I would have no responsibility, or problems outside of school and acne. Then I realized that I was not just some 15-year-old, I am a deranged 15-year-old, who has been locked up for arson. Being fifteen for five years gets old. Especially when you can’t enjoy it. By nightfall I realize they aren’t coming with another dose of whatever the hell, and I lay down on my plastic cot. The bed creaks and shifts with every breath and I wonder if it’s me or the lack of care given to this facility. I close my eyes and focus on being somewhere else, someone else. I can’t exactly control how I blip, but I like to try, just in case some how it works.

My name Is Avery Laine Bennett and I have an amazing ability to exist in different realities, in what I assume are the minds of people who are mentally and emotionally absent. I call these instances blips, I have gone through 32 different blips so far, and I can hardly remember where I started. I don’t remember whether I am a boy or girl. I don’t remember my first face, or where I was born, all I know is that every blip I know my new name, and my age, but nothing else. I usually can blip to a new life after I have resolved something in the life of my current body. I think my purpose is to give these people a reason to live again, instead of just living an idle existence. I have had to repeat blips before, but never to this extent, it usually only happens if I die. I thought maybe I am dying here too, but I don’t know what from, and I can’t remember enough from my previous attempts to decipher it. In fact, I don’t remember much past getting that pill from earlier. I need to find out what it is, I need to talk to someone, and soon. I am not sticking around here for a sixth reset. For now, I will sleep and tomorrow, I will get to the bottom of this.