Loss Leads to Love

I was twelve when my world was ripped up by the roots. My parents had decided to move nine hundred kilometres north from a bustling city right next to the beach to a rural property that was an hour away from the nearest ocean. The promise of having enough land to have my very own horse kept me from complaining too much. We had moved around a lot throughout my childhood as we lived on a yacht for two years so I wasn't afraid of change. However, I was sad not to be starting high school with all of the friends I had made in our last four years in South East Queensland. 

A twelve-hour drive later and we started settling into our new home in tropical North Queensland in June 2004. The three hundred acre property was home to poisonous snakes, spiders, centipedes and scorpions, so it was a steep learning curve. It also boasted beautiful rainforests and a stunning freshwater creek with multiple swimming holes, so it wasn't all bad. I started Year Seven at a local state school a few weeks later. On my first day, I met a boy on the bus. Mattias* was the only one who spoke to me on that first bus trip to my new school, but was two years older, so I was instantly intimidated. But he was kind, and the only one who talked to me, so I welcomed his friendship. I got off the bus at the primary school, and Mattias stayed onboard to continue on to the closest high school. 

I had left a school of five hundred students to join a school of fifty-six, where I was one of two Year Seven girls. That meant that I automatically qualified for the Interschool Sports Carnival, which I was keen to compete in. It was there that I met Kate*. A kindred spirit who loved horses as much, if not more, than I, who was in Year Seven at another local school. We became fast friends. 

We spent a few weekends at each others places, where I discovered that Mattias was Kate's brother. He had become comfortable around me and with that comfort came incessant teasing. One time he threw my shoe out of the bus window. Thankfully, we were at my stop so I didn't have far to go to find it. Another time he threw pine cones at Kate and I when I was staying the night at their place. I had grown to dislike Mattias and remember walking home one day from the bus stop crying because of him. When I got home, I spoke to my sister on the phone and told her about how awful Mattias was to me. I remember her saying, "He's teasing you because he likes you. You're going to marry him one day." I was quick to tell her that there was absolutely no way I would ever marry Mattias. I hated him. I didn't understand how someone as kind and sweet as Kate could have such a horrible brother. 

I spent a whole weekend with Kate in October. We had a wonderful time. We groomed her horse together, walked around their farm exploring and I managed to get stuck up to my waist in mud in a dried-up river bed. She had to get her father to come and rescue me. I went home that Sunday afternoon, and all seemed right in the world. Unbeknownst to me, Kate was involved in a freak quad bike accident shortly after I had left and was flown to hospital in a rescue helicopter. That Monday my parents picked me up from school halfway through the day, and told me we were going to the hospital to see Kate. I felt anxious, but we didn't know enough about the circumstances to know how serious it was. I dismissed my fears and promised myself I would be making jokes with her within a few hours. It wasn't to be. The doctors said there was nothing they could do to save her. She looked perfect, as if she were just sleeping, as she had simply fallen off the bike and hit the back of her head. They said if she had hit her head an inch on either side of where she did, she probably would have survived. After a couple of days, her parents made the heartbreaking decision to turn off her life support and donate her organs. She was twelve.

Through this difficult time, Mattias was a great source of strength to his parents, his brother and to me. The teasing from him eased off, and we enjoyed each others company, telling stories of Kate and eventually, finding a way past the pain and sharing joy in our memories. Through a local Rotary Club I rode in memory of Kate in an annual charity horse ride for the next four years. She had wanted me to join her on this charity ride in 2005, but since she couldn't be there, I rode for her. Over the course of the four years, I raised over seven thousand, seven hundred dollars in funds for heart and cancer research, the chosen charity of the event. It was very special to have the support of Mattias and his parents for this horse ride each year as we came to terms with our grief. 

Inevitably, feelings developed between myself and Mattias, and we grew closer. He finished his schooling and started a trade apprenticeship in town. I graduated with most of my peers expecting me to study at university as all of my close friends were going. I chose to stay local and get a job in an insurance broker's office, and moved in with Mattias. After a few years working there, I left, and joined my parents on their yacht for a couple of months in Fiji, as I figured this would be my last opportunity to spend time with them on a grand adventure before committing to a "normal" future. Mattias was supportive of the trip, as he is with almost everything that I do, and ended up travelling to Fiji to join us for a couple of weeks. It was on the Ringgold Isles in Fiji, on a deserted beach that Mattias proposed to me with a shell ring. It should have been the most romantic moment ever. Instead, I laughed. I genuinely thought it was a joke. He is, after all, a perpetual trickster. I eventually figured out it was the real deal, and cried and said yes. But of course, Mattias has never let me forget that I laughed in his face when he asked for my hand in marriage. 

We are now married, with two wonderful children. We have mended each other's hearts, and still often speak of his sister. She will always be remembered as a joyful, horse-loving girl who brought people together, even after leaving this world. 

*Names changed for privacy