Almost the chosen one

There was a rumour going round that somebody needed a donkey for a very important job. I found that really quite hard to believe. Why would anybody use a donkey for an important job? Donkeys are never ever used for important jobs. Donkeys are stupid creatures. They are only used for the most boring jobs because they are so stupid. I should know – I am a donkey.

One of the advantages of being a donkey is that we have big ears so we hear a lot of rumours. People think that we are a bit slow on the uptake but we hear everything so we always know what is going on. All of us donkeys in this yard – there are 7 of us, maybe 8 - knew that something big was going to happen. We didn’t know when. But we knew it was soon. We all wanted to be the donkey that was chosen for the special job.

I am a very special donkey. Not only do I have very big ears but I am good at dancing.

Being a donkey is not a glamorous life. We spend a lot of time eating. We are used for carrying things around. But we spend most of our time eating. And then we go back to carrying things around. I don’t know why they want us to carry stuff around as they never tell us.

Donkeys are reliable, or so I’ve heard. The human beings like us because they know that they can trust us to get things done. Usually that is carrying things. Or people.

I heard somewhere that working donkeys usually have a lifespan of about 12 to 15 years. I think I’m about 13. Or possibly 12. I have learnt a lot in my 13 years.

I have heard that human beings like us when we do a little dance. They smile and they sometimes stroke us. So my plan was to do a special dance. If I could do my special dance, I would certainly be chosen. So I spent some time rehearsing my special dance.

Also I knew that I needed to lose a bit of weight. I had been spending too much time eating and not enough time carrying things around. So I decided to spend less time eating and more time carrying things around. This was easier said than done.

While we are on the subject of food there was a strange rumour going round that a huge crowd of human beings had been fed using a few loaves and some fishes. Well, I knew that human beings didn’t eat as much as donkeys but that was ridiculous.

I like human beings but I hate the Romans. They seem to be in charge. I hate them. What have the Romans ever done for us donkeys?

Then one day it happened. We were all in the street and were tied up so we couldn’t wander off anywhere.

The two strangers almost chose me. They looked at me. But they didn’t choose me. I think they liked my ears. They chose Henry and they took him off. I didn’t even have time to say goodbye. And then I remembered that I had forgotten to do my dance.

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We didn’t see Henry for a couple of days. I had a theory that he had been taken to Jerusalem and used in a sacrifice. Sam thought he had been taken to a special place to become friendly with lots of lady donkeys. Hector thought that he had been abducted by aliens – I don’t know where he gets his ideas from. I was worried that we would never see him ever again.

Suddenly Henry walked into the yard. We all gathered round him and wanted to find out the full details. All he had to do was carry some bloke with a beard along the big road into Jerusalem. He told us the whole story. All around were huge crowds and everybody was waving palm leaves and shouting hosannah. Henry thought it must have been somebody who was very very important. It was so noisy that he couldn’t actually hear the name of his passenger. But then Henry’s ears are not as big as mine. He had the feeling that it was a one-off, rather than a regular job. He said the passenger was really nice to him even though he was obviously very important.

Now I know all about what happened I’m quite glad that I wasn’t chosen. I don’t like big crowds. They make me nervous.

A few days later we heard some very bad news. The special passenger that Henry had carried into Jerusalem had been killed by the Romans. Apparently they had put him on trial and found him guilty. After that they had hung him up on a wooden cross until he was dead. Henry was very upset. He seemed to think that the special passenger was his best friend. He started crying. We tried to comfort him but he kept on crying.

You will never guess what happened next. The special passenger came back to life. I think the humans call it a miracle.

Henry was really happy. He was hoping to get some more work from his new best friend. Apparently somebody was going to write his life story. Henry thought his life story was going to be written. But I reckoned that it was the special passenger who would have his life story written. What a story. He had been killed and then come back to life. Even more importantly than that he had been carried into Jerusalem on the back of a donkey.

As for me, well, there are very few chances for a donkey to make your mark in history. I suppose I will just have to wait for the next chance to come along.

In the meantime I will just get on with my job. I may not be the most famous donkey ever in the history of the world but I am good at carrying things, eating and dancing.