Tallying Dreams

TALLYING DREAMS

Faith lies on her left side staring at the only thing she convinced herself understood her, the wall bearing tally marks which she is never late to update. Today is day 646, another new day that no one knows what it will bring forth. Regardless, Faith is as energetic as always to write a new story, perhaps one that will inspire, teach or for once bring her good luck. She gets up picks a piece of chalk on the drawer and adds a mark on the wall then takes a step back and stares at it. 

646 days of dreaming, hoping, laughing, and crying. Each mark bears what according to her is a story that deserves to be on the lips of powerful people and won hundreds of contests. Each mark also reminds her to do better, maybe the previous one wasn’t good enough and she needs to do better.

These tally marks are what makes her smile every morning before leaving her room. She would be lost and maybe even nothing without them.

“Morning darling.” Her mother greets as Faith approaches her.

“Morning mum.” She answers in a sleepy voice.

“What story will I have the pleasure of reading today?” Her mother asks in an excited tone.

“I haven’t decided yet mum. I'll let you know once I do” She says and turns to leave.

“Faith.” Her mother calls in a concerned voice making her stop and turn to look at her.

“I’m sorry for asking but I am just trying to see the bigger picture. What if nothing happens? Will you live to write those stories for the rest of your life? You quit school for this honey and none of your stories have even ever been published leave alone win a contest. Please think about your future, at least.” 

“Something will happen mum and this is my future. There’s nothing more to think about.” She says and runs upstairs with tears threatening to fall. These is one of those sad days and although she has learnt to endure, it is too much that even her mum doesn’t believe in her.

It is hard to convince someone that she will one day be a public figure through writing when she has made zero progress so far but to her, it is worth it. The numerous stories she has written will always be there and maybe one day, all the tallying and writing will bear fruits.

She sits on the floor and looks at the day’s mark. If each mark showed the day’s emotions, it would be easier to know whether writing did more good than harm to her.

She takes a piece of paper and a pen then sits on the floor again looking at the tally marks before writing her daily quote.

“Today, don’t keep track of time, everybody is doing that. Keep track of your dreams, they are only known to you.”

She looks at her writing and folds it. On top, she writes her name and places it on a neat pile of similar papers.

She smiles and gets up then wears her favorite purple workout outfit and styles her straight, long, black hair to a pony. She loves the purple color because it means wisdom, passion, vision, mystery, and creativity. Her whole life is a mystery and according to others, it is complicated. She brags that her two best friends are pen and paper and listening to her say it confidently makes her look like a wierdo but, that is none of her concern. As long as she expresses herself how she wants to and answers questions politely, it is enough. She runs downstairs where her mum is joined by her younger brother. She smiles at them then leaves without saying a word for her morning jog which leaves her mum clearly confused.

 She sometimes gets inspiration to write her stories when she is outside and not overthinking and other than keeping fit, jogging really helps with her mental wellbeing. 

Observing people around her, their reaction, and nature in general is enough for her to write a mind-blowing story which will probably get a few reads but it doesn’t matter since she loves writing and her stories inspire her.

She goes back to her house and takes a shower. She joins her family for breakfast then goes back upstairs.

“Surpassed by will.” Is the title of a story she comes up with on day 646. She likes her main characters being more like her but achieving more than she ever has. She also likes to stress their capabilities but not in a way that is exaggerated.

Faith is only 22 years old, an age where most people learn from their mistakes, come up with new ideas and hopes to make it in life, and she is not an exception. Although her approach is one of kind and she has minimal support, she hopes that one day the word will appreciate her efforts. 

She partly writes the story then goes down stairs to prepare lunch. Her mum is at work but her siblings are at home since it’s a Saturday but she prefers doing it anyway as she also wants a break. She never speaks much with her siblings and they don’t mind. She gets lost in watching them laughing, screaming, and fighting with pillows in the living room and she can’t help but smile.

They look so happy and like they’ve got it all. She knows that each of them has wishes but they chose to live in the moment, something that she can’t even if she wanted because she is used to living alone with nothing but her stories.

She serves them and serves some for herself then goes up stairs to complete the story. The length does not matter as long as the message is clear. It takes her about four hours to complete.

She folds her laptop and lies on her bed diagonally aiming to rest a bit then wake up and re-read it.

A disturbing alarm sound wakes her. She tries to open her eyes but is almost blinded by the bright light from the open window. She turns to look at the wall as usual and for a moment, she thinks she is dreaming. 

She immediately sits and rubs her eyes then looks again. There is nothing on the wall.

She gets off the bed and rushes next to it. She places her hand on the plain, pale wall in front of her. The wall that bore the marks that were an emblem of her dreams was no more. Everything is gone. She sits on the cold floor with her hand still on the wall.

Tears involuntarily fall on her checks and the next thing, she is screaming.

Day 647 and she discovers everything she was looking up is gone. Maybe her mum was right, it was not meant to happen, maybe her life has been a lie all along, maybe the stories mean nothing or maybe, day 647 is the day her life would change for the better, maybe she wont need to tally anymore because she will achieve everything she has ever wanted.