Subject: M36

5/5/2025, 2:20am

36.010357, -84.269646

Subject: Male, mid 30s

Observation room 1:

The human subject needs no sedation. He was found on the side of the road after crashing his motorcycle while intoxicated.

Visible tattoos include a camel on his toe, a cross on his shoulder, and IGY6 on his wrist.

Once awakening, the subject's first question is about our species’ genitalia.

The subject realized there were no restraints, and promptly grabbed a bag from his clothing with sand in it.

He offered to share.

I don’t consume sand, thus declined.

Needing a scan of his throat, I show him the medical device, and demonstrate a scan of my own throat.

Subject began taking off his clothing.

I turned my head left to right, nodding “no.”

He said I was already doing it wrong and made a completely different motion with his head and a strange gesture with his hand and mouth.

Humans have become more bizarre since last visit.

I took a step back.

Subject raised and lowered his shoulders then opened the bag from his clothing.

I slowly approach the subject with my scanner.

The subject put some fine sand in the palm of his hand then consumed it in his nose instead of his mouth.

He poured a line of it on his hand again, but held the hand out to me.

When did humans start eating with their nostrils?

I need to see if his nostrils had grown teeth.

This would be a most unusual adaptation!

Subject is uncooperative, and seems to expect an exchange in which I try his nostril food.

My nose lacks teeth, tongue, taste, or protrusion enough to consume his food.

I move in closer to examine the food in his hand.

He presses it in my face and shovels it upward into my breathing holes. It burns. It burns all the way to my eyes.

His food is awful.

He is pleased by this for an unknown reason.

I examine his nose, and there are no teeth.

The scanner shows his lymphatic and endocrine systems are unaltered by radiation. I send the data to the master ship.

He puts his helmet on my head.

It is too large and cumbersome, and I almost fall backward.

I take it off and he is laughing like an ape.

He looks like an ape.

I pantomime these observations to him.

He laughs harder.

I laugh.

It is my first laugh.

I fart.

It is not my first.

I am now hungry for more of that food.

I point to the bag. We finish the sand. It is time to return the subject.

The controls of the reconnaissance ship seem strange. The ship is underutilized, how fast could it go…?

Lightspeed is the answer.

It lunges and sways.

The transporter will only work if the ship is perfectly horizontal with the horizon below.

We teeter endlessly.

The subject thinks it is for fun and does a dance.

Perhaps we are too high.

I lower the ship. This cycle continues until the ship is too low for a transporter beam.

This food does not last. We need more.

I should take a sample home.

Subject is coherent enough to use a string ladder.

I follow. I ride with him on the motorcycle. The reconnaissance ship has no cloak. It is night. Night is the cloak now.

I wait on the bike while the subject visits a friend in a large sectioned housing building. The friend looks out the door at me and drops a drink. The friend is an older male with a long silver beard.

He approaches for a closer look. He stares at me. I stare back. He then taps the top of my head lightly with the flat center of his hand. I keep staring at him. He stops.

“Okay buddy, let’s do this,” he says.

I can not mimic their voice patterns. I do know how to laugh.

“Cool.” The older human says.

We return to the ship with the friend following on a larger and louder motorcycle.

We park under the ship, and the humans share more of their nostril food.

I feel invincible. I could fight a reptilian! The lights on my ship turn on brighter than usual. Who turned them on? Wait! That’s not my sh…

……………………………………………………………

5/5/2025, 3:41 am

Oak Ridge, TN

Planet Earth

Specimen registry:

Human, Male, 60s

Human, Male, 30s

Gray, Androgynous, 90s

Notes:

My lab partner is bringing the Gray’s ship to our detainment camp. This Gray seems too familiar with our test subjects. Gray soldiers are far weaker than us, warm blooded fools.

The Gray enemy shall be detained with its ship after these tests.

He can be used in trade or war, or trade that leads to battle and war. This is great.

We shall release the Humans where we found them.

Mankind is useless. They are unfit for battle, science, or service. Earth’s treasures include quartz crystals and lithium, nothing more. Except perhaps alligators. Those are interesting.

The gray enemy communicates with the humans, and points to its excretion hole. The humans laugh, a true sign of weakness. The puny Gray enemy laughs.

Anal probing is the protocol of our initial test. Grays should know, they invented it.

The younger human undresses the moment I grab my ultrasound wand from the table.

Laughter commences.

I could eat them. I might eat them.

I approach the more mature and less excitable human.

He swings a fist at me.

I then approach Gray to taunt him to hurt me and start a battle in which I eat him first.

Gray points to my face, a childish aggression.

I lean in showing no fear.

Gray flips his hand over and open then blows dust in my face.

This behavior is unlike their kind.

Something is different about this specimen.

He seems tainted by the stupidity of mankind.

I knock him over looking for the source.

I look to the humans.

The younger male holds up a bag with the white dust.

I will be confiscating that for my leader.

That is, after I make sure it is safe.