The Mistake

Mistake is defined, according to the old Webster dictionary, as “an action or judgment that is misguided or wrong.”

And Julia Barrett knew she had made a big old misguided action that she had to make amends for.

If only she knew how to start.

The mistake she made happened five days ago, but it still ate her conscience. Jules, as her family and friends called her, blamed that on her parents, and how they raised her siblings and her to be compassionate and genuine.

Otherwise, she thinks this mistake wouldn’t be bugging her so much.

The 48-year-old had known better, but when the moment happened, she couldn’t help herself – it just happened.

Now, as she sat in the hospital waiting room across from her older sister, Dana, their mom and dad and some other family members, she knew she had to do something.

Especially since her brother’s life lay in balance as he was being operated on after being involved in a car accident that probably was a result of Jules’ mistake.

No one else knew what she was thinking, or of the mistake. Well, no one, but her brother. Kevin had been so mad at her when he found out what she had done, and was on his way to fix it before chaos erupted.

That is when the semi-truck had run the stop sign and sideswiped Kevin’s truck. Julia had seen it all from the open garage door at her dad and brother’s auto repair store two blocks away. Julia shut her eyes, and leaned against her chair as memories of just a few short hours ago flooded her thoughts.

She had gone running as soon as she saw, and heard the impact – running as fast as her Sketchers could carry her on the hot pavement. Her long sandy-blonde hair, pulled back in a ponytail, was flopping in the wind, and the wind suit pant rustled with each step. “KEVIN!”

Julia heard feet pounding behind her – the guys from the shop. Someone was hollering for someone to call 911. She thought she heard her dad’s voice hollering, “Jules. Jules. Wait.”

But she couldn’t.

A crowd of people all seemed to arrive at the scene at the same time. The truck driver was out, his forehead was bleeding, and he was moaning, “What did I do?”

Kevin was barely awake, he was groaning, face all bloody as the front of his truck looked like an accordion. “Kevin! Kevin! Can you hear me?” Julia hollered, coming to a stop at the door.

She gasped at the sight of her brother, and tried to open the door, but it was stuck. Kevin turned and looked at her. “It is OK, Jules. I am going to make it right.”

“Kevin, come on.” Julia started pulling at the door. Two of her brother’s employees, Max and Sully, arrived next. After observing the scene, Max said, “Move, Jules. Let me.”

Julia noticed something – “Wait. He can’t. Hold on. Let me get in on the other side to hold him in. If you open that door, he is going to fall right out.”

Sully said, “You can’t get in that way. Wait, the back.” Sully jumped in the back and broke the back window out even more by kicking it. He gulped at the sight of his boss’ injuries. “Sully, can you hold him?” Julia asked.

“I can’t fit in the window.” Sully leaned over the top of the truck. Julia jumped on the back of the truck, and crawled through the window, carefully. She pulled her brother over slightly, looking at his injuries.

An ambulance and more sirens could be heard from a distance. “You got him, Jules?” Max asked, getting ready to pull the door open. Julia nodded.

Sully jumped out of the truck, and came over to help Max open the door.

Others were arriving, including Julia and Kevin’s dad, Calvin. “Jules?”

“He is awake, Daddy. Barely. Looks like he has a fractured arm, some ribs, his head is gashed, and his leg – Daddy, it is broke.” Julia was a paramedic. She held her brother as straight as she could.

Cal looked at Max and Sully, “Boys, do it.” All of sudden, Julia screamed. "STOP!"

The guys looked at her. "What is it?" Max asked.

"Do you smell that?" She said, looking at her dad. It was the faint odor of gas.

It was gas. Calvin moved away from the scene, and knelt down. Sully was beside him. They both gazed all underneath the trucks. Julia was right. Gas was leaking from Kevin's truck.

Sully and Max adjusted their plans of opening the truck - careful not to jar it or cause any kind of friction. Kevin was breathing slower, and the blood was coming from everywhere. The blood started seeping out the truck.

Calvin stood up, “Get everyone back .Get everyone back. Now. Go. Go. JOHN, let them know it is going to burn. Don’t move that truck. Everyone move. Julia, now, let’s get him out.”

Max reached in, and took Kevin's waist, and Sully grabbed his legs, and Calvin stood by to help. Julia pushed her brother gently from that one side. They got him out, and Sully, Calvin and Max carried him away from the vehicles.

Just as everyone was cleared, the firetrucks pulled in, and started doing their thing. Julia started working on her brother as the ambulance pulled in, and she moved out of the way once they took over.

It had been horrible, and everything had moved so quickly. When she finally sat down in the waiting room, Julia realized she still had blood on her Texas Rangers’ sweatshirt, and all over her shoes. She walked back toward the nurses’ station. “Jules, I have got some scrubs you can put on.” One of her friends – a physician’s assistant she had gone to school with said. She went and changed, and put her clothes in a bag, and cleaned her shoes.

The waiting room was full of her family. Her mom, Sherry, checked her out -as most moms would do, and when Calvin finally assured his wife that Julia was fine, Julia sat down, and started thinking about the mistake.

Julia and Kevin have two other siblings – Dana and Lily. Lily was older than Julia by six years, and had been adopted by Calvin and Sherry when she was two. About five years ago, she had developed a drug and alcohol problem, and had left the family – including her two youngest daughters.

No one had seen her, and everyone had looked for her. Five days ago, Julia had found her – well, Lily had found Julia by chance. Julia and her partner, Rex, had gotten a call to a local house that was allegedly a “crack house” - a meth lab in the kitchen and all the local druggies went there. Police had done a raid, and realized medical assistance was needed.

When they walked in with the police officers who came as escorts, all they had seen were bodies in horrible shape – malnourished, dirty and several had overdosed – two had died. The officers would take the ones that Julia and the other paramedics said were OK in handcuffs to jail - for illegal drug use.

Lily was in the house. She was sitting against a wall when she saw Julia walk in. Lily watched Julia from the shadows for a while.

“Jules.” Lily stood up. Julia turned around, from where she was checking the pulse of one of the people in the home, and almost fell backwards. Lily was skin and bones – hair stringy, eyes bulging and clothes looked like they hadn’t been washed in days.

Rex looked over from his patient at his partner. Julia could have helped Lily that day, and brought her in for treatment. “You know her, Jules?”

Julia breathed hard. “Nah. Probably some junkie we have helped before, who knows.”

It was then that the police officer handcuffed Lily and took her to jail.

Julia didn’t tell anyone what had happened. She was at the shop, sitting in the office, kind of in ‘lalaland’ when Kevin came in and caught her. “Girl, what is up with you? You have been off in nowhereville for the last several days.”

It was then that she couldn’t hold it in any longer. She told her brother. He stood up from his chair, and hollered, “What? You saw Lily and you didn’t tell anyone. And you know how long they have been looking for her … how heartbroken Mom has been? What in the world?”

Julia sighed, “I don’t know, Kevin. I didn’t know what to say. I just …”

“Where did they take her?” Kevin grabbed his truck keys from a drawer.

She shrugged, “I think she is in county, Kevin.”

“I am going to fix this,” Kevin took off. He couldn't believe that Julia could keep the secret and not have helped their sister.

And then the accident happened.

Sitting in the waiting room, legs stretched out in front of her, Julia began to shake. She knew it was the adrenaline rush leaving her body. Her experience as a paramedic started to kick in, so she knew she had to get up.

Calvin saw her as she headed outside to the atrium next to the waiting room. She slumped down on a bench, and started to cry, face in her hands. Her dad walked out. “Jules.” He sat next to her, and touched her shoulder. She leaned into her father’s arms. “Daddy, it is my fault.”

“What is your fault? The accident? No. That truck driver ran the stop sign.” Calvin handed her a paper towel from his pocket.

“No, no.,” Julia said, blowing her nose. “Kevin was so angry. He left because I did something … well, I didn’t do something. I need to make it right.”

Calvin paused, “You saw Lily.”

Julia sat up, “What? How do you know?”

Her dad put his hands on the bench. “Your brother has a loud voice, and you forget, I was sitting in the room next door to you two when you told him.”

“Daddy, I am sorry. Please don’t hate me. I just didn’t know … she looked so .. I am sorry.” Julia shook her head.

Calvin paused. “Your brother overreacted … Kevin always overreacts … You know that. And, yeah, you should have told me that you saw her. Then we could have decided how to tell the family ,especially your mom. I know you were trying to do what you thought was right.”

Julia stood up, “I don’t know if I was really, Daddy. I was almost like ashamed of her too.”

“That is normal, Julia. I am sure she looked horrible. But you have no reason to feel guilty or blame yourself for Kevin’s accident. Your brother is going to be fine. We have to trust God in that, and your sister, being in jail, is probably the best thing for her. So you probably helped her more than you know.” Calvin said.

Julia faced her dad. “Do I need to go find out where she is?”

Calvin shook his head. “Let’s get Kevin through this, and then we will figure it out together.”

“Daddy, I should have helped her. I mean … she is my sister… what kind of person am I?” Julia sat back down.

“You are human, baby,” Calvin said. “You are not God and you are not here to do God’s will or fix things or people. He does that.”

Julia looked at her dad. “I need to make amends somehow.”

“Sometimes, when a mistake is made, it is best to leave it alone, let it be where it is, baby. Pray about it, forgive yourself, and move forward.” Calvin touched his daughter’s cheek.

“But Kevin … Lily… “ Julia wiped her eyes on the back of her hand.

Calvin shook his head, “You are not responsible for their actions … you are just to love them, remember that. There is a difference.”

Dana walked out in the atrium. “Mom sent me out here. Kevin is out of surgery, and in recovery. Mom is in there with him. He is going to be OK.”

“Well, that is that then.” Calvin smiled, and patted Julia on the leg. “Dana, will you take your baby sister to a bathroom and clean the snot off her face … I thought she was big enough to know how, but look. She is a mess.” Calvin got up, and held his hand out to help Julia up.

Dana laughed, “Snot? Eeew. Come on, brat. Let’s get you cleaned up.” Dana took her sister’s hand after she stood up, and they walked inside.

Julia looked back at her dad who was behind her. He smiled, “God has got this, baby. It will be OK.”