The New Eden

“Are you ready for this Benjamin?” he asked emotionless as I stared off into the early morning sky. It was pale and the lake in front of us looked like a black mirror.

“I can’t turn back now.” I said with nervous anticipation. “Will I really get to see it?”

The celestial time traveler turned to look across the lake. “As soon as the first ray of sun shows itself over the horizon I will take you there.” 

As the seconds dragged by I thought about how my life had brought me here to this moment. My life. I wish it wasn’t my life. It was so burdened with hardship and pain. I was a battered victim of life’s unrelenting storm. Tossed about unwillingly like a ship at the mercy of an ocean’s rage. I wanted it all to end.

Yet, my miserable existence had born in me a deep desire to be certain of what lay beyond. Beyond the final sleep. Could it be unshackled bliss? Was it bad memories erased by bringing back what was lost? Did the new Eden really exist? 

My questions would soon be answered by the ultimate wish granter. I don’t know how he came, or how he found me, but here I was, standing on the edge of this lake, directed to this spot by a man who spoke with authority and intent. 

My body shivered even though the air was warm. I watched the hue of the sky slowly brighten as if someone was turning the color dial slowly towards the light pinks. 

Suddenly, an orange light burst across the horizon. In the same instant the man’s large hand grabbed my arm and before I could even take a breath I was transported from that sunrise on the lake.

My wonderings were about to be answered.  

The hand released my arm and my mind fought hard to process what I saw in my new environment. It was like nothing I had ever seen or could imagine. And yet it was so familiar. I was surrounded by abundance, by richness, by vibrancy, and pureness. 

I was elated! Was this truly what I had to look forward to?

Walking forward, I soaked in every bit of my surroundings. Everything was larger than the mind could conceive. Enormous, glittering rock faces loomed magnificently high over my head. A large water source was tucked high up into the crevice of the mountain walls. I could see trickles of water carelessly streaming over the cliff face and falling rhythmically into a light mist. A stream of water also flowed down from the mountainous rock, weaving its way around large boulders and down into lush greenery where I was standing. The vegetation surrounding me was otherworldly and more breathtaking than anything I had seen on earth. Except the trees. I recognized the trees. 

As I approached this natural enchantment I saw a man bent towards the earth with a shovel in his hand. It appeared he was trying to plant one of the trees I had just been observing. He looked up at me and hollered my name.

Surprised, I walked slowly over to him, my eyes and brain still trying to figure out how to compute all this new information. 

“You called me?” I said hesitantly.

“Yeah” he said. He stood up and turned to look at me.

My heart jumped in my throat and started beating violently when I saw his face. I recognized him. All too well. 

It was Josh.

Intense hatred and rage welled up inside me. I wanted to turn around and run back to where I had come.

As my face began to mirror my feelings within, something incredibly strange happened. All those intense emotions of bitterness and red fury disappeared as quickly as they had come. My heart stopped beating and my body relaxed. What was happening? 

I tried to rekindle the vengeance I knew dwelled inside me. I looked at him again knowing that looking straight into his eyes would swell my hatred for him and what he had done to me. 

No feelings came.

“Hey Ben, thanks for coming over. I need help planting this tree. I’m almost finished preparing the hole.”

He bent over and resumed working with his shovel.

I was astonished. What was happening? Where was the animosity? Where were the snide and derogatory remarks? What happened to the man who would turn me inside out with hatred whenever I even heard his name? 

He just accepted that I was here to help him. Me help him. I was in disbelief. 

I watched Josh continue to dig into the earth. Strangely, my emotions remained calm inside of me and it felt like love and goodwill had replaced hate and suspicion. I had no vocabulary, no definitions or explanations for why a man who had inflicted so much evil and pain in my life would make me feel love...even friendship towards him. Friendship. Friendship with a man who raped my wife and murdered my little girl!?? Impossible. Friendship would mean forgiveness. I wouldn’t even entertain the thought. 

Why couldn’t I hate him? I wanted so badly to. I didn’t want to love him. He didn’t deserve that from me. 

“You ready?” 

Josh’s voice pulled me out of my confused stupor. 

“Ben?” He looked at me concerned. 

I started to speak but I was unable to raise my voice, or my fists, in bitterness. Instead I questioned him with calmness not my own.

“What are you doing here?” I asked.

“Umm...transplanting a tree.” He said looking confused.

“No, I mean, what are you doing here. In this place.” I responded pointing to the ground with both fingers. 

Josh chuckled. “You know as well as I do why I am here. Everyone gets here the same way.”

“Yeah, but you don’t deserve to be here.” Once again I tried to spark the anger. No luck.

“Well neither do you.” Josh said in a good naturedly way. “I mean yeah, I had a lot more to account for but…” He started encircling his arms around the trunk of the tree. “...when I raised the white flag...it was a sealed deal. Why you asking anyway? You already know all this.”

I had no response.

“Mind helping me with this.” He asked nodding towards the tree’s root system.

I slowly walked over to the tree and started rolling the base of it towards the hole. Together we directed it into the newly dug hole. As he covered the roots with the soil I tried to remember a time when Josh had admitted his wrongs. I couldn’t recall a time. 

“”Was I there?” I asked Josh quietly.

“Where?” he said.

“When you raised the white flag?”

“Naw man. You had sworn me off long ago. You had sent me some hate mail and told me to go to the other place.” he pointed downward with his thumb.

“So when did you do it?” 

“Well, I lived my life for a while and did some more damage before the answers came. Someone else came along and showed me the way. It wasn’t long after that when I showed up here.” He shoveled in some dirt. “And I was welcomed with open arms. Imagine that?” 

“You were welcomed?” I tried to hide my surprise.

Josh laughed out loud. “You were the first one to give me a hug! I wasn’t expecting that.” 

I grabbed my stomach. I thought I’d be sick. But I didn’t feel sick. In fact, I felt happy...no joyful. I felt delighted with the things he was saying. But I didn’t want to be. I wanted him to be ‘down in the other place’. Why didn’t it happen that way?

“And there we go. This tree will do much better over here by the stream. It will produce the best kind of fruit next season.” Josh gave the tree a pat and threw his shovel over his shoulder like he had just finished the best task in the world. “See ya later Ben. Thanks for the help.”

He walked off and left me blinking my eyes like I had just woken up from a bad dream. 

What was this cursed world? This couldn’t be the new Eden. 

Or could it? I looked up into the branches of the newly planted tree. It seemed to be budding right before my eyes. Its leaves shimmered as it stretched its branches longer, basking in the glow of the radiant sun. 

Then darkness abruptly interrupted my gaze.

There I stood, back at the edge of the lake. But no one stood beside me to transport me from this new revelation. And it wasn’t morning. It was night and the moon was glowing from behind wisps of clouds. As the clouds migrated across the sky the moon revealed it’s image on the placid lake. I stared at the reflection. It was a half moon. Was it waning or coming into its full brilliance? One would only know if the stages were tracked and observed. 

My anger was back, but it was muted. How long had I lived with this burden? I had failed to note.

I had not realized my trajectory. I was waning, more like wasting away in my boiling stew of vengeance. I was like a moon slowly losing it’s light and ability to brighten anyone's path much less my own.

And Josh? How bewildering. No amount of hatred could damn him. He must have found forgiveness. But it didn’t come from me. Why didn’t it come from me?

I was just a cloud, obscuring his journey to full glory. 

And the new Eden? I wish I’d never seen it.

I didn’t think I’d ever be ready to live in such an astounding place. Would I even want to? Much would have to change in this life if I was to live in the next.