The Shadow of the Yule Beast

CW: Graphic descriptions

In the shadows of the night, there isn’t a single eye open, a single person wandering, or a single peep within each home. The only sound is the soft snoring of the families in bed, yet, deep within the shadows of the home is the one thing children fear.

“He knows when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake. He knows when you’ve been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake”, a song we always associate with Kris Kringle. Yet, there is another that hides in the shadows. 

Deep in the night, when all are whisked into dreamland, there are yellow eyes peering from the shadows. He listens to all who are naughty and nice, and all who are naughty? Let’s say they are made into a nice feast. You may wish for Santa to give you a bundle of gifts, but be careful for what you wish for. Because, perhaps you’ve been naughty. You haven’t done a single nice thing and your parents threaten you with coal. Little do they know, the Yule Beast is waiting for its feast. 

Though, you say to yourself you don’t give a damn, and you declare that ‘Santa’s not real! I don’t need gifts!” If only you knew, the Yule Beast heard this too. For he is everyone, everything at once. If only you weren’t a dunce, and pull off these stunts, you would’ve had more months to enjoy your life. Yet, here you are now, resting your head. You better pray, for this may be your final day. Once you’ve been bad, there is no going back, because he’ll take out his sack, and what’ll happen next will leave you gagged. 

Deep into the shadows, once he has you in his grasp, it is over once you’re in his trap. He’ll drag you through forest and land, until at last you’re in his home. Within you’ll be dropped into a pot, seasoned with things such as ginger and clove. A hint of Saffron and even maybe an orange peel will do. Then there goes the broth, filling to the brim. Soon he’ll strike a match and boom goes the wood under the pot. It will feel warm at first but as minutes go by, the water will soon boil and pop. Your skin will feel all itchy and throb, it’ll burn and blister, even turn red and rough. This, this is what will make you realize it’s over. You’re done. But, you will end up passing out, for this is too much for your brain to handle.

Once you’re passed out, everything is laid out. The Yule Beast will lay you on the table and stuff an apple into your mouth, preparing you like the fat, greedy pig you are. He’ll cut you up and serve you up on a platter, digging into your skin with a knife and gobbling you up like all the greedy people end up doing on Christmas.

And soon, the cycle repeats. Someone is naughty, he shoves them into his sack, he brings them into his home, and cooks them into a feast. This happens over and over and over, and no one fails to be naughty. And why do people end up being naughty? Why, it’s because they are greedy, snobby, evil people. Though, I’ve failed to mention that this isn’t what some claim he does. Some say he beats those who are naughty with branches and sticks. Others say he sends them into hell. It is odd, but people do believe this is true. Some leave things for him to assure they’re safe too!

But this is false.

No one who has been naughty is safe.

All who are naughty, better say their last goodbye. The Yule Beast is out, and he’s out and about. 

Parents ponder if they’re safe too, but this is untrue. You are never safe from the Yule Beast.

From each corner, each dark hallway, he is there waiting. Watching. He always strikes at the right time. Then, when the parents fall asleep, he comes out. The Yule Beast will loom over the bed, his yellow, threatening eyes contrasting the dark room. His body overshadows parents, it being curved and contorted similar to a goat’s. Some could say he was similar to Satan himself, because he truly does bring you through hell. The velvet, long tongue of his gliding along his lips, excited for his catch. When he shoves them in his rough sack, the only sounds now are those of the parent’s shrills and shrieks, this being a part of a trap. Because of the screams, their children will rush in and SNATCH! They’re in too. The parents end up being nice dishes for the main meal, stuffing him up like the fat, greedy pig everyone ends up being. 

Now, one final question. Who is the Yule Beast? Is he the Boogeyman? Is he the Creature of the Black Lagoon? No. 

Parents around the world question who this Beast may be, if he was truly the devil or maybe an arch angel sent down by God to punish those. These theories, of course, are not true. But, many do think it’s true and ponder. Why? Oh why was it my kid and not me? God forgive me. Yet, it was no angel or demon. He was a mistake by God, not meant to live on this planet. This creature all feared had a name that will send shivers down spines and cause all to shrill. For his name was simply this: Krampus. Krampus the Yule Beast from Austria hunting down the greedy and diabolical citizens of the word. Is Krampus truly evil, or just some sort of wicked hero?

Now, remember this the next time the holidays come around. You better believe he’s real, he sees you right now. He knows when you’re awake. He hears you. Now remember next time if you decide to spread misfortune: be careful of what you wish for. Because, if you’re not careful…

You will be the Yule Beast’s next feast.