Just in case, I love you

Amanda and her husband are now celebrating their third anniversary.

Amanda was preparing the meal, steak and noodles- both their favorite meals. As Amanda was cooking the steak, her husband came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and whispering in her ear, "smells amazing, darling."

Amanda smiled, "glad you think so."

Their laughter filled the room.

"I love you," Amanda said, sighing.

"I love you too, so much, hey, I have to stop by the office to grab something for work, I should be home before you've finished," Austin said, grabbing his hat from the rack by the door.

"Sounds good, you better be here," Amanda teased.

"You bet I will!"

"Good, because I have a surprise for you when you get back!"

They smiled at each other.

Austin started to head for the door, but Amanda had this sudden urge that something was wrong, or something was going to happen, but this happened often for Amanda, her anxiety isn't very easily escaped.

She grabbed Austin's arm, and he turned to face her. Her face was full of worry, her eyebrows knit together.

"Stay safe," she whispered.

"I always am," he smiled, kissing her for a short second.

Amanda waited by the door until she saw his white car pull out of the drive way, towards his office.

Amanda sighed to herself, wishing her anxiety would go away. Butterflies, the bad ones, the ones that make you sick to you stomach, wouldn't go away from Amanda. She clutched her stomach, felling ill.

The house seemed quiet to Amanda now that he was gone, though it wasn't quiet.

Her pet bird chirped in the distance, her dog whined at her feet, and the steak sizzled on the burner.

She bent down and scratched her dog's head. "Sorry, I don't have any food for you," she smiled.

Austin worked about 15 minuets from the house, so originally it shouldn't take that long. But on the way he had some trouble.

Amanda couldn't help but be constantly worried when Austin was away, but she tried to push it off, she always felt this way when he left.

After about 30 minutes passed, the table set and ready, Austin still wasn't home. Amanda started to pace the room, not able to sit down.

Austin never usually took this long, but Amanda didn't worry, not even now, that Austin would ever be disloyal to her, but she started to get concerned, what if he was hurt?

Amanda tried calling him and calling him, but no answer.

Eventually, she called his office, after an hour of waiting and he still wasn't home.

"Hello?," a male voice answered the phone.

"Hello," Amanda said softly, "my husband, Austin, was coming into work this afternoon the stop by and grab something, but he's not home yet, I was wondering if he was there, by any chance."

There was a pause on the line. Finally the man answered, "he never showed up here."

Amanda felt her stomach drop, and she clung tightly onto the edge of the counter top so that she didn't fall over.

"Thank you," she whispered, the sound barely audible, then she hung up.

If he never showed up for work, where could he be then? Amanda started to panic, calling everyone she could to see if they had seen Austin anywhere, and she always got the same answer.

Finally she racked up the courage and strength to make the call she was dreading to make.

The phone only rang once before a calm women's voice answered. "Hello, this is the Emergency Rooms, how may I help you?"

"Hello," Amanda managed to choke out of her closed throat, "my husband was running to his office, and he never made it there, I was wondering if..." she trailed off, unable to speak, only thinking of the absolute worse.

"Last name?"

"Uh, um," she stuttered, "Williams," she finally managed to say.

"Yes," the women's voice on the other side answered. "I do believe a Mr. Williams did show up here..." she paused, but said nothing more.

Amanda panicked again, "he's there? Now? Can I see him? Can I talk to him?"

"Ma'am..." the women said softly, but a hint of something more, sadness for Amanda, longing to comfort her. "I'm afraid to tell you.... your husband- he, he died awhile ago. He got in a car crash on his way to work... I'm sorry for your loss."

Amanda could say no more. She broke down into tears, no longer bothering to hang up the phone.

"Ma'am?," the nurse on the phone said.

"What...," Amanda whispered.

"I'm sorry, is there anything we can do?"

Amanda shook her head while answering, "no," her voice broke.

She hung up the phone, her head hanging low, tears streaming down her face.

She grabbed her keys, climbing in her car, headed toward the hospital. In her car, was a picture, and a note from her husband. It read:

Just in case, I'll always love you.

-Your husband, forever <3

Amanda broke down into tears, putting her head on the steering wheel and crying for awhile longer.

On her way to the hospital, everything seemed blurry and off.

When she arrived at the hospital, she was escorted to her husbands room.

Even in death, he still looked handsome. Amanda clung onto the side of the hospital bed with shaky fingers, tears falling freely.

"I love you," Amanda whispered to her impassive, cold husband.

She stroked his face with one shaky fingertip, kissing two fingers and placing them on his lips.

After while of crying, and listening to other people's heart monitors in other patient's rooms, Amanda had had enough, leaving the room. She planned for her husband to be buried the next day.

But before she left, she grabbed his ring, placing in delicately in the palm of her hand. She curled her fingers around it, heading back to her car.

When she unlocked the front door, her house no longer felt like home. It felt empty, and she felt hollow. The uneaten dinner was still on the table, but she couldn't bare it enough to even clean it up. She climbed into her now seemingly cold bed, fully clothed, staring at the pale wall.

How empty everything seemed without him. There was no more laughter.. everything just seemed to be- gone. Missing completely.

There was a picture hanging on the pale wall of Amanda and Austin, on their wedding day. Amanda shed a tear for the happy looking couple in the photograph.

They had always used to joke about the the "just in case's" but now... it didn't seem funny, because it was true.

The burdened Amanda rolled onto her back, staring blankly at the ceiling. She couldn't seem to hear anything or see anything. Her eyes were tearstained, and she cried more as she tried to sleep. The world could be going up in flames and she wouldn't have noticed.

By 4 in the morning, Amanda was still sleepless. She got up and headed to the table still full of food.

She sat down in her usual seat, and stared at the empty seat across from her. She then remembered that she never got to tell Austin something...

She headed back to her room, pulling out a small box from under her bed. She opened the lid, barley able to see what was inside it.

It was a positive pregnancy test and a small outfit for the coming baby.

"Why," Amanda whispered, heart broken. They had finally gotten it figured out as a married couple, finally getting on their feet to afford a child, but now here Amanda was. Alone in her dark room, crying her eyes out, dreaming about a life that's gone... never to come back.

It was finally noon, and time for the burial. It was only Amanda there, and as she watched his coffin slowly lower, six feet under the soft dirt, never to be seen again, she cried, she cried until she hurt physically.

She drove to the small diner that her and Austin used to go to all the time whilst they were dating, she remembered everything from the second the diner air washed over her saddened face.

She saw the platform where they had danced together on, the first dance. She saw the table where they had come on their first date. She even saw the little note they had left the diner on the wall of notes in the back corner of the store.

Amanda walked to the small park where they had shared their first kiss. They bench which they had shared their first conversation...

If everything, Amanda was glad they had shared so much. All the words spoken, and the ones not spoken. It all meant the same.

A life that has been loved, is a life that's been lived.

So as the years went on, Amanda cared for her newborn son, every day, writing a letter to her late husband, telling him all the things that she is seeing.

Amanda strongly believes that as she and her son visit Austin's grave every Wednesday, that he is there, looking down on them from heaven.

A soft melody started to play in the park, and Amanda recognized the tune, the first song they had danced too.

It was then she knew.

Yes, yes, Austin was watching. Smiling all the while.