Our First Kiss was the Last

It was just another ship day on the island of Hoonah, Icy Strait was a cruise port, filled to the brim with tourists and locals. Fishermen passed through on their way to juneau and beyond, so it was unordinary to catch them sitting at my bar a few times a week. We were only one of the three bars open on the tiny remote island, and one of the busiest with the draw of the “crabby bloody mary”. A 25$ dollar bloody that came with a bouquet of garnish flooding social media feeds and begging to be tried by the cruisers looking to experience a one of a kind adventure. The days start to run into each other when you work at a place like this. You wake up at 7am, catch the shuttle through town to the port, check in at the commissary and then head to the bar to prepare for the masses that would soon flock. Stocking the kegs and bottles of liquor, making the hundreds of garnishes that go on top of the bloodies,  making sure there were enough mallets and napkins, sodas in the grab and go, empty trash cans, clean tables, everyday, for six months. The same routine, the same cruisers, the same 3 hour lines for crab legs, the same full bar stools full of people asking the same questions, “where are you from; what brought you here? What's the elevation, how long have you been a bartender? Can I get a bloody Mary? OH OH me too. Everyday, the same thing. Then you. 

You walked in and sat down while it was still rather quiet, I can still remember the exact stool you sat in,you were so handsome but rugged in a way. I assumed you were a fisherman passing through town with your crew, you were wearing a pullover and jeans, the Alaskan uniform.  Imagine Dragons were on and you made an off handed comment about how they suck. I laughed and agreed, most people on the island loved Imagine Dragons, I loved that you didn't. You ordered a beer, not a bloody, another thing I loved, another clue that to me that you weren't a tourist. You had great banter too, you didn't ask me the normal everyday questions. We started talking about music and you started quizzing me on bands and artists, trying to gather my age I assume. Once you ordered your third beer I finally asked you why you were here at my bar so early in the day, I was pulled away from customers coming in but there was something so magnetizing about your presence. I kept catching you looking at me and was pulled back to every chance I got. There were two of us tending bar, so I took every opportunity I could to snag a little side conversation with you. I learned you were actually on a cruise with your parents celebrating some sort of accomplishment. You had been a fisherman in Alaska for a season or two, so my first assumption wasn't too far off. You weren't keen on cruises but you were keen on family, that made my heart swell a little, we love a family man. The hours passed and your family stopped in to see where you had been all day. Watching you interact with your niece was so cute, you treated her like your own, and I finally broke and gave you my number hoping you would use it. Your family pulled you away from the bar to head out to an excursion and I snuck over to the expo window to talk to my friend about you. It took you maybe ten minutes to send the first text. I told you to come back to the bar and within the hour you did. 

You sat at a different spot at the bar this time sneaking peeks at my body and telling me in texts how much you liked it. You appreciated my jeans and the way they hugged my curves, insisting that I take a break so you can hug them too. 

The bar was crazy busy, but sneaking away with you for a few minutes seemed like too much fun, so after much convincing and teasing I did. It's the first time I'd ever done anything like that, walking away from the bar while clocked in? Leaving my barmate alone to deal with crowds, but she had done it almost daily and I was able to keep the customers at bay, so I figured it was my turn. We sneak out of the building grinning to each other and walk down the boardwalk holding hands. You tell me you wish you could sneak me onto the boat and I'm giggling at how much your words are slurred when they fall from your handsome mouth. Your boat is leaving soon and we only have a little time before It's noticed that I'm not behind the bar so we take the few moments we have to awkwardly stare and compliment each other. You ask for a kiss and push me against the railing. Your mouth engulfs mine as I wrap my hands around your neck and kiss you back. I can feel your smile as lightly entangle my tongue around yours. I pull away before I get too drunk on your kisses and look back to see a worker from the bar watching us in the distance. Caught. I push you away playfully and tell you to sext me later as you stagger back to the ship. I know you won't have service for a while so I leave my phone plugged in under the bar. Hours later when I get the chance to check it, I have a missed call and some texts from you; I smile and feel that kiss again. I'm hoping you're thinking about it just as much as I am. Who knows if and when I'll ever see you again.  Years pass, I'm in the Dominican Republic now, and you're somewhere floating on another ship, only this time you're working. We've kept in touch over the years here and there but we haven't had the privilege of sharing another kiss. I've kissed a good amount of handsome men, but I don't remember them the way I remember you. I imagine what it would be like to have you, all of you, but right now that's all it can be, an image in my imagination. A fantasy one we both share. Our kindred spirits want to reunite, we both speak about how we haven't connected with someone that quickly in that way since our last meeting, it's one the reasons we keep reaching out. We want to explore the possibilities of what could be but our erratic schedules and constant traveling keep us apart. I still hope one day the universe will bring us back together, but until then it looks like our first kiss may also be our last.