Submitted to: Contest #300

Chaltier's Well

Written in response to: "Write a story about a place that hides something beneath the surface."

⭐️ Contest #300 Shortlist!

Speculative Suspense Thriller

Chaltier's Well had stood for three centuries at the fringe of Western settlement, neither prospering enough to expand beyond its original boundaries nor failing enough to join the ranks of ghost towns that dotted the region like abandoned chess pieces. The town maintained precisely 1,876 souls – the same count reported in the census of 1876, and every census since.

People didn't leave Chaltier's Well. Not permanently. Those who tried found themselves circling back within months, drawn by what locals called "the tug" – a homesickness so profound it manifested as physical pain. Those few who resisted the tug died of seemingly natural causes before they could cross their first state line.

This peculiarity went unremarked upon by residents and unnoticed by outsiders, who rarely lingered more than a night at the Red Candle Inn. The town existed in a kind of perpetual present, never growing, never diminishing, as consistent as the methodical tick of the clocktower that had never once required winding.

Ellery Wade returned to Chaltier's Well after fifteen years away – a statistical anomaly the town had never before witnessed. She had left at thirteen, dragged screaming from the back of her father's pickup truck as they departed for Portland following her mother's funeral. The tug had nearly killed her father on three separate occasions before the military stationed him overseas, beyond whatever invisible radius exerted the town's pull.

Now thirty-eight, Ellery parked her rental car at the edge of Main Street and sat motionless behind the wheel, studying the unchanged storefronts with the clinical detachment of a pathologist. The vehicle's navigation system had failed twenty miles outside town, the screen displaying only a looping animation of recalculating routes. Her phone showed no service. These technological hiccups barely registered; she'd expected them, had prepared for them. What she hadn't anticipated was the absence of the tug.

Every childhood nightmare had featured that sensation – the town's ghostly fingers hooking into her spine, reeling her back like a fish on a line. Yet now, nothing. She felt only the hollow space where dread should have been, which was somehow worse.

Ellery exited the car, the mid-October air crisp enough to sting her lungs. The town square lay before her, its centerpiece the well from which Chaltier's Well derived its name. A simple stone cylinder rising three feet from the cobblestones, it had never run dry, not even during the seven-year drought of the 1930s. The well bore no winch or bucket – water simply appeared in drinking fountains and taps throughout town, clear and sweet and cold.

"Ellie Wade? Lord above, it can't be."

Marjorie Finch stood in the doorway of the bakery, flour dusting her forearms like spent gunpowder. She had been old when Ellery was young, and now she was ancient, her skin like parchment stretched over knucklebones. Yet she stood straight, her eyes still sharp as splinters.

"It's me, Mrs. Finch."

"They said you died." The old woman's voice carried no accusation, only the mild correction one might use when pointing out a misremembered recipe.

"Who said that?"

"Everyone. After your daddy passed. The announcement ran in the Herald."

Ellery's laugh held no humor. "My father is alive in Arizona. I spoke to him yesterday."

Mrs. Finch's smile revealed teeth too perfect for her age. "Well, ain't that peculiar. Memory plays tricks these days." She retreated into her shop without another word, the bell above the door tinkling with deceptive cheer.

The encounter left Ellery cold in a way the autumn air couldn't explain. She approached the well with measured steps, her boots clicking against cobblestones worn smooth by centuries of passage. A plaque affixed to the stone bore the town's founding date – June 8, 1723 – and the name of its founder, Pierre Chaltier, a French trapper who had discovered the natural spring that fed the well.

Ellery peered into the well's depths. Unlike most wells, which revealed their water source a dozen or so feet down, the darkness here extended beyond the reach of daylight. She had never seen the water, had never known anyone who had. It simply existed, somewhere down there, feeding the town through unseen channels.

Something shifted in the darkness. Not visibly, but Ellery sensed it – a reconfiguration, like furniture being rearranged in a distant room. The hairs on her arms rose, and for one disorienting moment, the well seemed to be looking back at her.

"They don't like when people stare too long."

Ellery turned to find a boy of about ten regarding her with solemn eyes. His clothes were oddly formal – a white button-down shirt, pressed slacks, shined shoes – but his dirty-blond hair hung in his eyes with boyish disregard.

"Who doesn't like it?" she asked.

"The currents." He said it as though it were obvious, the way another child might reference the sky or the ground.

"What currents?"

The boy tilted his head, studying her. "You're the one who got away," he said, not answering her question. "They've been waiting for you."

Before Ellery could respond, the boy darted across the square toward the library, his formal shoes oddly silent against the cobblestones.

Ellery had come to Chaltier's Well with a purpose: to sell her mother's house, the last physical tie binding her to this place. The modest Victorian sat three blocks from the square, its blue paint faded but intact, the porch swing still hanging from rusted chains. The key turned smoothly in the lock, as though the door had been recently oiled.

Inside, dust sheets draped the furniture like shrouds, but otherwise the house appeared as though her family had just stepped out for the afternoon. Her mother's reading glasses lay folded on the entry table. A stack of mail, the topmost envelope dated the week they'd left, sat unopened beside them. The air smelled of lavender and lemon polish – her mother's preferred cleaning scents.

Ellery moved through the rooms with increasing unease. The kitchen calendar displayed the month they'd left, fifteen years earlier. In the refrigerator, a carton of milk remained unexpired. She checked the date three times before pouring it down the drain, watching the white liquid swirl away with a sensation approaching panic.

That night, she lay awake in her childhood bedroom, where glow-in-the-dark stars still formed crude constellations on the ceiling. Sleep eluded her, replaced by a sensation like being watched by something with infinite patience.

Around three a.m., she heard it – water moving through pipes, not in the typical rushed whoosh of modern plumbing, but with deliberate, measured progress. The sound circled the house, moving through walls where no pipes should be, before concentrating beneath her bed.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

Ellery switched on the bedside lamp. No water stained the hardwood floor, yet the sound continued with metronomic precision. She pressed her ear to the floor and heard something else beneath the dripping – voices, hundreds of them, conversing in overlapping whispers too faint to comprehend.

Morning came with fog so thick it pressed against the windows like cotton wool. Ellery dressed quickly and left the house, intent on visiting the town clerk to inquire about property records. The streets were oddly empty, even for a weekday in a small town. Somewhere distant, chimes rang in a pattern that raised gooseflesh on her arms – not musical, but communicative, like Morse code.

The municipal building stood opposite the well, its redbrick façade severe against the milky sky. Inside, fluorescent lights buzzed with yellowish light. The clerk, a balding man with wire-rimmed glasses, greeted her without surprise.

"Ms. Wade. We've been expecting you."

The words were innocuous enough, but delivered with an inflection that suggested the "we" encompassed more than just town officials.

"I want to sell my mother's house," Ellery stated flatly.

"I'm afraid that won't be possible." The clerk's smile never reached his eyes. "Your mother's property isn't legally transferable. It's bound to the family line in perpetuity."

"That's absurd. Show me the deed."

Without breaking eye contact, the clerk reached beneath his desk and produced a leather folio, yellowed with age. Inside lay a document written in faded ink, bearing her mother's signature beside another that made Ellery's breath catch – her own childish scrawl, dated three days before they'd left town.

"I never signed this."

"You did." The clerk's voice held absolute certainty. "All children of Chaltier's Well sign the covenant on their thirteenth birthday. It binds them to the town. To what's beneath."

"What's beneath what?"

His smile widened. "You know. You've always known. That's why you fought so hard to leave."

Ellery fled the building, the leather folio clutched in her hands. Outside, the fog had thinned enough to reveal the town square, where residents now gathered around the well in a loose circle. Their postures were identical – heads tilted slightly as though listening to something emanating from the stone depths.

The boy from yesterday stood apart from the circle, watching her with those same solemn eyes. When their gazes met, he beckoned her toward the clocktower that overlooked the square.

Against her better judgment, Ellery followed him up narrow, winding stairs to a vantage point just below the clock face. Through leaded windows, they watched the silent congregation below.

"What are they doing?" she whispered.

"Communing with the currents. The town feeds it, and it feeds the town."

"What is it?"

The boy's expression shifted to something older than his face could properly contain. "It's what settled here long before Chaltier dug his well. It's what keeps everyone the same, year after year. It's why no one dies here unless they try to leave."

Ellery's mind raced through childhood memories – how town elders never seemed to age past a certain point, how no one ever moved away, how the population never changed despite births still occurring. She had attributed these oddities to the peculiar stagnation of small-town life, but now...

"And the tug? The pull that brings people back?"

"The currents need bodies." The boy's matter-of-fact tone made the statement more horrifying. "They flow through everyone here, like blood. When someone leaves, the current stretches, tries to pull them back. If they resist too long, it snaps, and they die."

"But I got away."

The boy nodded. "You're the only one. That's why they need you back so badly. You're a broken circuit."

Below, the gathered townspeople began to sway in unison, a gentle motion like seaweed in a tide. From this height, Ellery could see something else – thin, silvery filaments extending from the well to each person, connecting them like marionettes to a central control.

"What happens if I refuse to stay?"

"The currents will find another way. They always do." The boy gestured toward the window. "Look."

Beyond the town limits, where farmland should have stretched to the horizon, a wall of dense fog obscured the view. As Ellery watched, the fog parted momentarily, revealing not fields but emptiness – a great void, as though the town existed on an island floating in nothingness.

"There's no way out anymore," the boy said. "There hasn't been for centuries."

"That's impossible. I drove here yesterday."

"Did you? Or did you just... arrive? Can you remember the journey?"

Ellery opened her mouth to describe the five-hour drive from the airport, but the details slipped away like water through cupped hands. She remembered leaving the rental car agency, and then... she was here, parked at the edge of Main Street.

"What is this place? What are you?"

The boy's smile was gentle, almost apologetic. "I'm what you were meant to become. A conduit. A keeper. Every generation, one child is chosen to maintain the balance between above and below. When you escaped, I had to take your place."

"You're not ten years old."

"I'm ninety-three. But the currents keep me as I was when I took the oath."

Ellery backed toward the stairs. "I don't believe any of this. I'm leaving – today."

The boy made no move to stop her. "You can try. But even if you make it past the boundary, you'll just find yourself back here. The currents have closed the loop. Chaltier's Well doesn't exist in your world anymore."

As if to punctuate his statement, the clock behind them chimed – thirteen sonorous tones that resonated in Ellery's chest like physical blows.

She fled down the stairs and across the square, past the now-dispersing townsfolk who watched her with placid eyes. She reached her rental car, fumbled with the keys, and peeled away from the curb with a screech of tires.

The town receded in her rearview mirror as she accelerated toward where the highway should be. The fog thickened around her vehicle, headlights reflecting back uselessly. Still, she pressed on, faster and faster, until the steering wheel suddenly went slack in her hands.

The car continued forward on its own, and the fog around her became something else – water, dark and silent, pressing against the windows with impossible pressure. She wasn't driving away; she was sinking, descending into depths that shouldn't exist beneath a small Western town.

Through the windshield, Ellery saw lights twinkling in the darkness – an inverted reflection of the town above, but older, vaster, its architecture both familiar and wrong. Silhouettes moved between illuminated windows – human in outline only, their movements too fluid for bone and muscle.

As water began seeping through the car's seams, Ellery understood at last. Chaltier's Well wasn't named for the stone structure in the town square. The entire town was the well – a plug, a lid, a demarcation point between worlds. And what lay beneath wasn't water, but something that had used water as its medium for crossing over.

The car settled gently on what appeared to be a street of smooth black stone. Outside, the silhouettes gathered, watching. They had been waiting a very long time for someone who could move freely between above and below. Someone who had escaped the currents once and might do so again – with passengers.

As the water filled the vehicle to her chin, Ellery made her choice. She would find her way back up, back through. And when she did, she would seal the well properly, permanently – even if it meant the town and everyone in it would finally have to face what it meant to truly end.

The water closed over her head, and Ellery Wade began to swim.

Posted Apr 25, 2025
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33 likes 36 comments

Matthew Durban
00:44 May 15, 2025

Great sense of place and dread. There are some really nice touches that I will remember for a while: ‘flour dusting her forearms like spent gunpowder’, the description of the ten year old and entrapment or escape(?) in the car. The tension continues to build throughout - ‘Drip. Drip. Drip.’ Thanks Jacob

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Jacob SanSoucie
12:26 May 15, 2025

Thanks so much, Matthew! I really appreciate you reading it and taking the time to share your thoughts. I'm especially glad the tension and atmosphere stuck with you—those little details are always my favorite to write. It's encouraging to hear what moments linger with readers. Thanks again!

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Story Time
16:40 May 13, 2025

A really nice unnerving tone throughout the piece. I loved the shortened sentences and where you decided to break paragraphs. Pieces like these usually live and die by structure, so I thought you did a marvelous job with that.

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Jacob SanSoucie
18:11 May 13, 2025

Thank you so much! I'm really glad the structure and tone resonated with you—those were both super intentional choices. I appreciate you taking the time to read and share your thoughts!

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Hannah Klebieko
22:45 May 10, 2025

Oh, that was marvelously unsettling and well written! You took 'under the surface' very literally. And I love that Ellery's last name was 'Wade' as well; very clever.

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Jacob SanSoucie
00:47 May 11, 2025

Thanks, Hannah!

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Hannah Klebieko
02:50 May 11, 2025

Welcome to Reedsy, btw! What is your best advice for writing shorts stories?

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Jacob SanSoucie
11:56 May 11, 2025

Hey Hannah!

Honestly, I think the biggest thing with short stories is clarity of purpose. Know what emotion, image, or question you want the reader to walk away with, and let that guide everything. Also, start as close to the core of the story as possible—there’s not a lot of room to meander in a short format.

And don’t be afraid to let a story sit for a day or two and come back to it with fresh eyes. That’s saved me more times than I can count.

Hope that helps! Let me know if you're working on something—I'd love to hear about it.

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Hannah Klebieko
22:27 May 11, 2025

That first point is the one I've been thinking about lately. It's definitely something I need to pinpoint. Ah, yes, meandering. I think that is the main problem of my latest short story: I tried to fit too much into too little space. I'd appreciate a critique on that one of you're willing to give it. Letting it sit for two days will be hard, especially with Reedsy, where we only have a week. I'll try to do that next time though.

Yes, that very much helps! Thank you, Jacob! I'm actually taking a break this week, so nothing in the works at the moment. We'll see what next week's prompts inspire!

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Jacob SanSoucie
17:06 May 12, 2025

You're so welcome, Hannah! I totally get how hard it is to let a story sit, especially with tight deadlines—it's a discipline that gets easier with time. Enjoy your well-earned break this week, and I hope next week’s prompt sparks something great!

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Kristi Gott
03:16 May 10, 2025

Gasp! I have to take a deep breath after going on the suspenseful journey of this story that takes readers into another world. Reminds me of Stephen King, the Twilight Zone, and Outer Limits. This could become a great screenplay. Super! Great writing!

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Jacob SanSoucie
15:15 May 10, 2025

Thanks, Kristi! I appreciate your kind comments!

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Mary Bendickson
16:42 May 09, 2025

Super good znd suspenseful. Congrats onn the shortlist.🎉

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Jacob SanSoucie
19:07 May 09, 2025

Thank you, Mary!

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Lexis C
16:29 May 09, 2025

Coming back to say I was SO happy to see this story on the shortlisted list. Definitely well deserved!

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Jacob SanSoucie
19:06 May 09, 2025

Thank you, Lexis!

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Rebecca Hurst
16:19 May 09, 2025

Excellent work, Jacob. Congratulations on the shortlist!

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Jacob SanSoucie
19:06 May 09, 2025

Thank you, Rebecca!

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Alexis Araneta
15:54 May 09, 2025

Oh my ! Great use of imagery here. Loved the tension you maintained throughout, Lovely work !

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Jacob SanSoucie
19:03 May 09, 2025

Thank you, Alexis!

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Olivia Kingree
11:22 May 08, 2025

Wow, great imagery

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Jacob SanSoucie
15:24 May 08, 2025

Thanks, Olivia!

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Shauna Bowling
18:28 May 07, 2025

Wow, this is awesome! How did you come up with this idea? You did a stellar job of worldbuilding. I saw every scene unfold in my mind. If this were a movie, who would you choose to portray Ellery and the little boy?

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Jacob SanSoucie
21:33 May 07, 2025

Thanks so much, Shauna! I’m really glad the worldbuilding resonated—this story was born from a prompt: “Write a story about a place that hides something beneath the surface.” I started imagining a town that quite literally does that—an isolated place sustained by something ancient and unseen, and the strange calm of people who know more than they admit.

For Ellery, I think Thomasin McKenzie would be a great choice. She has such a grounded, emotionally rich presence that fits Ellery’s quiet determination and haunted edge.

As for the boy—since he’s quite young in the story (around 10 years old), I think it would come down to finding a rising talent who can carry that eerie, knowing innocence. Those exceptional young actors always seem to emerge when the right role comes along.

Thanks again for the kind words and for taking the time to read it!

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Jenna Oberg
18:15 May 06, 2025

That was very good! I wasn't sure where it was going until it took me there. The writing was tight and descriptive, a solid piece.

The only minor criticism is that if she was 13 when she left and was gone for 15 years, she would be 28, not 38.

Other than that, well done and very enjoyable! Good job!

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Jacob SanSoucie
21:56 May 06, 2025

Thanks so much, Jenna! I really appreciate your kind words and thoughtful feedback. You're absolutely right—I made a typo on Ellery’s age. She was meant to be 28, not 38. Great catch! I’m glad you enjoyed the story and that the journey worked for you. Thanks again for reading and for taking the time to comment!

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Kathryn Kahn
19:11 May 04, 2025

Super creepy! Nice job with the suspense. Some of your phrases and sentences are so perfect, I have to read them again. Here's one: "The boy's expression shifted to something older than his face could properly contain." You made me see something very specific in a startling way.

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Jacob SanSoucie
13:41 May 05, 2025

Thank you so much, Kathryn! I'm really glad the suspense worked and that certain lines stood out—especially that one. It's always encouraging to hear when something I wrote lands just the way I hoped it would. Thanks again for reading and taking the time to share your thoughts!

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Sandra Moody
03:13 May 04, 2025

Wow! This was great! Id love to see what happens to Ellery! You've described an amazing world, so unique!

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Jacob SanSoucie
18:02 May 04, 2025

Thank you, Sandra!

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Lexis C
16:24 May 03, 2025

This story is SO good. You did an excellent job setting up the atmosphere and a concept that truly makes it impossible to stop reading. I also love the open-ended ending and think this would make an incredible novel if you wanted to expand/continue the story. Looking forward to reading more of your writing in the future!

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Jacob SanSoucie
18:21 May 03, 2025

Thank you so much, Lexis! That really means a lot. I had so much fun writing this one and tried hard to capture that eerie, slow-creeping feeling throughout. I'm glad the atmosphere and pacing landed with you! I’ve been toying with the idea of expanding it, so your encouragement really helps. Appreciate you reading and sharing your thoughts—it truly made my day!

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John Rutherford
05:53 May 10, 2025

Congratulations

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Jacob SanSoucie
15:16 May 10, 2025

Thanks, John!

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Mary Bendickson
16:45 May 09, 2025

Super good an suspenseful. Congrats on the shortlist.🎉 welcome to Reedsy.

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Jacob SanSoucie
19:07 May 09, 2025

Thanks, Mary!

Reply

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