My Problems

It was odd, at the beginning, perhaps because I had never known what it felt like to be behind. I have always seen the flickers of doubt in others’ eyes. Those teary eyes of worry and those desperate eyes of evil. Yes, I have seen them all through my own parents. But never have they been in me. To me, that was a new low; to have to struggle and stumble around just to keep going. It felt like climbing a tall brick wall to reach for the sky. It was impossible.

Then, one day, everything clicked. Like I was living in a black and white world and when I blinked, it was colored with the brightest, most welcoming colors. I realized why Alex had chosen me that day. It was because I was a prodigy. Not because I seemed pitiful or clueless. And that realization made me happy. Perhaps too happy though. If only I kept my hopes out of my confidence. Maybe I wouldn’t have been so sad. Maybe I wouldn’t be drunk and crying right now. Just maybe.

You see, I had fallen in love. I had fallen into a one-sided love. Where it was just me gawking at him in every turn. Where he paid no mind to me and I had to try my best to hide my thumping heart. It was his face my lovesick brain went to while working on projects. Which was what made the past few hours the most destructive. He had announced his marriage. With someone else. While smiling broadly and confessing his love. I ran away during the wedding. Partly because I couldn’t bear to watch while the love of my life crushed my dreams.

I locked myself in my room along with casting a sound proof barrier that doubled as a shield and grabbed a bottle of wine. I didn’t even grab a cup. After all, what was the need for one if I just planned on chugging that thing like milk?

It was then that I heard a knock on the door.

In my drunken state, my brain was unable to process the fact that I had put up so many precautions upon my room for a reason. That was the first time I met Liam Verse. However, I soon came to regret my decision as I somehow made myself stumble over to him and wrapped my arms around him. He seemed startled by my gesture but hugged me back anyway. It was comforting in a way. That was, until he asked me if he could be my eternal friend. People didn’t normally ask that. Actually, people didn’t even normally get the chance to talk to me. To even get aquainted with me was a chore.

As an explanation to what that is, it is basically your average BFF but you are bound to each other. When I say that, I mean the two people literally can’t tell each other lies, have new eternal friends, or replace each other. The penalty? Losing magic. Say, if you told a lie, you could lose about 1/1000 of your magic. Sure, not that big of a deal. But you still get weaker. My instincts would have said no. Sadly, I was drunk. Seeing blurred images of a nice guy who seemed to care about me. Those blue eyes that actually showed kindness, not ambition. Which was why I would come to regret that night. al

When I woke up, I could not register why the heck I was lying on the ground instead of the floor. There was a plate of cookies beside me and when I read the note, that night’s events rushed back into my still sleepy brain.

Oh god, no.

Like leaves in the wind, my other thoughts disappeared as I realized my answer. Yes, I promise. As my bloodstream threatened to freeze and my heart started freaking out, I decided the best way to resolve this was simply to find Liam. He’ll understand, right? A few hours later with the answer no sitting on my head, I started as much projects as possible with my teammates. Our group specialized in spells and while most people complained, I was the youngest head to lead such a group. My inability to handle such stress is concerning to say the least.

That was what made me choose so many projects without consideration of my half-dead group. They had likely begged me hours before if we could have a vacation. My answer? No. To be free of all responsibilities was scary for me. To have no one depend on me, no one to see my thinking skill and no one to have an opinion I was great.

“Esyyyyyyyyyy,” Lila groaned. “We’ll never finish all five projects!

I opened my mouth with a sharp retort in mind. I couldn’t let her run wild.

That was when the very real and breathing Liam Verse came in.

I was surprised. Flabbergasted. Gobsmacked. Liam was not one of popularity but he soon gained a reputation in this tower for being an incredible sorcerer. In fact, it was rumored that he was better than me. After having heard such a thing, I had decided I didn’t particularly like him. In fact, anyone who came after my position was immediately taken down. Which was why, I, who considered us mortal enemies and decided his intentions of asking me as an eternal friend was simply a plot, practically threw myself out the window when he came in.

I didn’t. Instead, I was forced to keep myself from giving off any signs that we had met before. I showed him around the place and threw him out the door. My group was shocked at my behavior towards him but they soon shook it off. After all, I was never one to dwell on friendships or even kindness for that matter. Mainly because after all I have ever been through, pain didn’t hurt anymore, and love didn’t heal either.

I then spent the rest of my incredibly long afternoon doing projects. I had more pressing matters to deal with though.

What would I do with Liam, who I invited into my dorm?