Feral

NEW HOME

I take one last glance at the pack as my new life with pure, sweet Robin lies somewhere beyond these tall trees, which I have spent many lonely moons under. Despite all the grey my eyes beheld, a part of me feels guilty leaving them behind now. Strolling through the summer soil, Robin's beautiful form of flaming ruby red illuminating the way ahead, I feel the most joyful, painful tear of mourning flee my snout.

Lacking the community of my pack, every step I take here is another step closer to my soul sinking into the Earth they frolic through. I am so sick. I'm sick of the darkness that clouds our eyes, and sick of the feral fire that I was cursed to not breath in right from birth. An inbred pup is all I was.

Side by side with her, I take comfort in this air again. I walk not in a wolf's pelt, but my own black fur. Robin turns her glowing head to me, and we exchange a touch of our noses.

The ground disappears, and the sky turns gold. The forest remains, but there's no sight to me. There's only Robin, in all her fierce grace, yet with the majesty and elegance of the sky made flesh. My body floats in a realm of crystal white as Robin drifts around me, her ember tail grazing across my view.

"At last, I have you."

Until Robin, my ears did not know of any tongue that whispers the same vibrancies a flower gives in the spring. As she dashes ahead, the white dissipates, and the forest returns to view. I follow Robin up the hill, and we breeze through the evening Sun's warm embrace.

Each step lacks feel. I'm made of stone, as the mountains beyond reach. Along the way, I rub against Robin, feeling the most pleasant, soothing burn on my fur, the warmth that the coldest, most persistent of rains couldn't dampen. She rubs back, holding my side with her tail all the while.

As the sun goes down, we find a cave to call home. Robin goes ahead of me, inside the cave. I rush towards it without thought. She peers her head out, and my throat loosens

"There's enough room for us both."

Robin beckons me inside with a turn of her gorgeous frame. I enter the cave, with the one who lifted me to repose.

AUTUMN HUNT

I dash out of the cave, ready for my first hunt of the fall with Peter. This season feels made for me. The beauty yet strength that the glowing orange around provides gives the most tender embrace. I prance around the leaves beneath my feet as we head out in search of food.

Peter smiles as I spin among the leaves, jumping in along with me. The leaves flying around us enhances Petey's radiance. My heart bounds without stop as his pure, mighty figure stands against the autumn sky.

"Ready when you are, my ferocious peach."

Peter gives me a playful bite on the neck. He sees my shock and proudly grins to himself. He isn't safe though. I nip at his front leg, running through the forest before he can get me back.

"Oh no, you aren't losing me that easy!"

A wonderful fire rages within as I gallop onward, Petey not too far behind. It's cute watching him be wild. I suppose he'll never understand that dogs like me were born with that spark. Although I dearly admire how he tries.

Peter pounces on me from the side of a tree, causing us to roll around in each other's grip. When we stop, I look up at his striking green eyes. Of all the beasts I've tussled, none are more powerful than his gaze.

For a moment, the fall ceases to be. The fire inside me cools. I am caught not in the forest, but in the emerald paradise of Petey's eyes. It's so beautiful. I feel safe here. I almost want to stay here and never see another step of the world outside.

The cry of a doe nearby jolts me free of the stunning maze. Peter drags me up. We both get down to a low crouch, on either side of a large tree, staring down the oblivious doe ahead. I exchange another glance at Peter, the fire in me coming alive once more. Peter seems to notice, giving a feisty lick of his snout.

We crawl slow towards the doe. As we near it, the doe rushes away. I look at Peter disappointed before my eyes dart behind him. An angry brown bear stood ahead. I yelped a warning out to Peter as the bear charged at him, swiping its claw out. I shoved Peter aside and took the claw to the face.

"Robin!!"

I shake off the wound on my face and give it a quick lick. That familiar taste of my own blood gave me a raw rush of ecstasy. I pounced on the bear's neck, chewing away at its flesh and fur. The bear grabbed and threw me forward.

Peter ran behind the bear, calling it names. The enraged bear turned to charge at him. I got up to my feet just in time to see Petey lead it headfirst into a tree. Peter rushed towards me.

"Time to take that doe's lead!"

I followed Peter, rushing away from the site as the bear gave a furious roar to the sky at us. We get a good distance away until our breath nearly gives out. Taking in the moment, Petey and I exchange glances. Peter shoots a worried look toward me.

"Oh, Robin, does that hurt?"

I assure him that I've taken and faced worse.

"Sorry, I'm not much for fights."

I nestle my head against the side of his, whispering in his ear how brave he was. Petey smiles and I just stand there basking in it, in him. This fervor I feel now, that hunting alone once gave me, it's what keeps me alive. It's the delicious blaze in my blood. Petey motions his head off to the side.

"After you, darling."

I shake off the nerves from that encounter and rush ahead to resume our hunt.

WINTER DANCE

An unrelenting chill washes over my hide as I step outside our cave. The pillowy snow beneath buries my paws and the snowfall above decorates my black fur. I turn to my gorgeous flame in this harsh winter. Robin's magnificent crimson fur is magnified in glamour in this blizzard, illuminated by falling flakes.

Robin brushes her tail against my snout as she walks ahead through the snow.

"Ready to hunt?"

I assure her that we will, but I wanted to bring her out for something else first. Robin follows me with hesitant steps. I can sense she's consumed in curiosity's large maw. Looking for the perfect spot, I come across an immaculate, shimmering frozen lake down a hill. Robin gives a sweet chuckle behind me as she dashes up next to me.

"What is this about, Petey?"

I tell her that I've brought her to this ethereal body of water for a dance.

"A...dance?"

For as long as I can remember, I always took joy in the cold and exquisiteness of the winter. A fond memory of my time amongst a pack is dancing carefree in the middle of the snow. The allure of being amidst such weather of inherent splendor filled my grey days and nights with the purest bliss. I had dreamed of sharing this moment with another.

"I'm...not sure how this 'dance' works."

I inform her that it's not complicated. Just let yourself get lost in the rhythm of the Earth around you. Gently twirl your worries away and float amongst the winter clouds.

As I tell Robin this, I begin to slide down from the hill, across the icy sheet. I spin my body and propel myself up to the sky, kicking my front legs forward before letting them plop back into the snow. Dancing across from Robin, in all her burning radiance against this winter, the forest begins to come alive in a way I've never seen.

The warm, hot colors of her fur melt into the sky and snow around. The sky turns a heavenly purple, the snow a resplendent orange, and the cool blue ice beneath, a ravishing, vibrant green. With so much beauty in front of me, the biting cold of the ice on my paws begins to fade.

With a charmed grin on her face, Robin takes slow steps down onto the lake. For a moment, her legs get shaky, and she struggles to move across the ice. I exchange Robin a reassuring smile and glide toward her.

Helping her up, I guide her gently into a mellow drift across the sheet. After a short while, Robin lets go, twirling her tail across the ice and turning her frame with it. Before my eyes, she becomes an angel in motion, painting the forest with a palette of unrivaled beauty.

As Robin glides through the air, a weightless jewel in the forest, the purple sky does the same, becoming like ocean waves floating around her. I get lost in her rhythm, as I spin my body closer to hers. Within nose distance from Robin, I just get lost in the grace of her dance.

Around us, the colors get warmer, I start to feel weightless, and the forest around me becomes nothing more than a plain of pure, untamed, enchanting color. This is the most breathtaking dream that I wish I could be trapped in forever. Just me and Robin alone, bending the world to the power of our dance.

Robin's nose touches mine, and all the colors around us explode in a spectacular explosion of bright, hot red. The clouds come down around us, and we're one with all the birds I've long envied. I close my eyes, absorbing the glorious symphony of the chilling wind against our weightless bodies of bound fire. As I open my eyes, Robin's no longer in sight.

The forest and the icy lake returns to my view. I look up, seeing Robin dash ahead of me up the hill of snow. What happened? Noticing my lack of response, Robin turns back to me.

"That was...nice. Thank you."

I smile at her. Robin must have enjoyed the dance. I hope that she did. I wish we could've kept it going at least a bit longer.

Eventually I catch up to Robin. She nestles her head against my neck before we venture out for another hunt.

NEW WOUNDS

Spring rain mercilessly beats away on the outside of our cave as I consume what's left of the deer we caught several moons ago. I turn, seeing Peter lie almost lifeless in front of me, looking out into the rain. I shove him up a small chunk of deer meat. Peter doesn't bat an eye.

I tell my Petey that this won't last much longer.

"It's not the rain. I don't recognize my fur anymore."

I'm confused, I tell him. Peter rises up and turns to me, stricken with fear.

"You're turning me red...a feral red I don't understand, a red I can't wear like you."

He starts to light something up in me. Something I've struggled to let out but known to be there. How can Peter cut me with such words, doing what he's done to me?

I tell him that he's left me to hunt alone the past couple moons. The fire that I've nourished in me, embraced with pride, has been fading. This face of mine, it's not as I've known. These streaks of black, his darkness, it's raping away my wild, free hide.

"All you care for is that untamed beast inside you! I've near none of my own flesh left, and you abandon me in this mist!"

My claws come out, with the vilest stinging pain. I've never felt such horrible hurt before. I get close to Peter's face. I feel a hot tear resting in my eyes. That beast is what you craved of me; I tell him. Wasn't it?

"Oh, Robin, I did."

Drops of fire streak down from my face to the damp cave floor.

"This...it's different. This vicious fuse you light in me, it's not my own. I can't control it. I've tried and lost my reflection."

I tell Peter that I am a fox. What we share, it can't change that. He can't shape the nature of me.

"Why can't you shed it...be what I can grasp..."

A blaze courses through me. Not as I live and breathe. This one feels vile, it's making me sick. Am I not as you intended, I ask.

"Robin...I...I just don't want to feel this."

Do you think I can stand under the coat you're laying over me, I say. Do you think I arise and see the fox you do anymore, that I can feel as I did anymore with how you're throttling my shades?

"You don't understand! Oh, Robin! Why can't you clear your ears? Cleanse your blindness?"

It was then that I lunged at Peter's throat, and we tumble out of the cave into the downpour. I scratch away at his snout with my claws, letting the spark that he stripped loose on him. Standing over him, watching his blood fly left and right, it gave me a joy I had thought lost. A reminder of what I was many bygone dawns ago.

In that joy, I thought about killing him. Then it was gone. All that was left was my dearest Petey, lying down on his back. Gasping for air, he was just taking it. Oh, as much as I've lost of my hide...how could I do such a thing to him? My ferocity burns bright, but for him, it burns just as much.

I get off of Peter. Those hot tears come flooding back into my eyes, getting soaked deep into my fur by the rain. When did our embers go out? I watch as he struggles to stand in the muddy soil beneath him. I go and help Peter up to his feet, letting him regain balance against my side.

As he postures up, I back away from him. Peter has no words . Looking upon his face of sorrow, I have but one thing left that my throat can afford to say.

Do you love me?

I walk upon a hill, determined to be free of this anguish. This agony I've never known nor wish to face again. Yet, there's a lofty grief and regret weighing down each step over this hill.

"I do."