You and me

(trigger warning: H-moph-bia, d—th, angst)

I couldn’t help it, I know I‘ve read the book a thousand times, but as I read and smelled the smell of the book, i felt the sweet embrace of his arms again, his warm smile, his soft voice gently scolding me for staying up this late. “Pat, you cant do this all night, you need rest!” He said, but I replied “Its alright my dear, i wont be up much longer, just let me finish this chapter” and he‘d let me finish it, because even despite our differences, i still loved him, and he still loved me, before i knew it the simple scent of the book had sent me in a spiral of memories and nostalgia.

”Luka! Just tell me what it is!” I cried out to him playfully as i was being pulled along somewhere with his hand over my eyes “I’ll tell you when we get there!!” He led me to a beautiful garden and uncovered my eyes “Pat, i know this sounds dumb and obvious, but i love you, so incredibly much, and i cant imagine ever spending time away from you, so,” he knelt down on one knee and pulled out the most amazingly stunning blue and teal ring—

I could barely stop the smile that formed on my face from the memory

I walked into the empty clubroom to be met with the sound of tears, i walked over and saw a small boy, probably 10 or 11- right around my age- crying his eyes out “Are you alright? What happened?” He looked up at me startled, his deep blue eyes looked at me “I-i, there w-was just someone being m-mean t-to m-me again..... i-ill be fine.... thanks though....” he wiped his tears away “I-im Luka.... w-whats your name?” I felt bad for the boy, but decided to try to distract him from whatever was making him sad “Im Pat! Its nice to meet you Luka”-

I chuckle, “Was it really that long ago? I guess it must’ve been....“ I continue to read, remembering more and more along the way

”Hey Pat, I got you a birthday gift!” He called out to me, “Luka! You didnt have to! You really are such an amazing friend” i open the gift, its a small notebook with the words “You and me” written on it “Whats this?” I ask, curious. “Its a place for us to write down our best memories together! I thought it would be fun to look back on when we’re old and fat” he puffed out his cheeks and pretended to have a cane, i giggled-

He was so silly, but he was right, i dont know if 48 counts as old, but I’ve definitely become pudgy over the years.

“Uhm, Pat, i- uh, have something to tell you..... and im just going to say it.... I- uhm, i like you.... like, like like you...... sorry for being awful, i know you wouldnt like me like that-“ i cut him off with an excited squeal “Really?!?! Im so happy!! I like you too! I thought you wouldnt like me like that!!” I hugged him tightly and he returned the hug, smiling-

That might’ve been the happiest moment of my life.... but as happy memories resurfaced, so did the dark ones

I find a note on my lunch tray and ignore it, i already know what it says, ever since i started dating Luka i’d get notes everywhere, everyone cared to much about their social life to dare say the things they thought about us, so they’d leave us notes, i’d always make sure luka never saw them, but i think he saw the glares we’d get from teachers and students alike, our grades suffered because none of the teachers gave us more than a 0 on anything we did-

I Find that kids pick upon what they don’t understand, if they knew how much i care about him, maybe they wouldn't have.

BANG! I saw my life flash through my eyes, i could feel the car hit the tree below the road sideways, i heard screaming, it could’ve been mine, the car tumbled down the hill as I instinctively protected my head, CRASH! The car hit the bottom of the hill and stopped, i get my seatbelt off and quickly run out of the car, i see the back of the car catch fire and i run to the passengers side “LUKA!“ i cry through my tears, i pull at his body to no avail “ IM STUCK PAT! JUST GO!” His seatbelt wont budge and the flames are growing nearer, i frantically claw at the seatbelt clasp and pull my hands away, bloody, i sob out “I-IM NOT LEAVING YOU!”

”PAT, YOU NEED TO GO NOW! Please...” he pushes me far enough away, just in time, the car is engulfed in flames and i hear his tortured screams.... i hear someone sobbing, i see someone running towards a crying man screaming out for his husband, the person asks what happened, but all the man can manage is “I thought it would be you and me forever luka....”

I cant stop my tears, they spill out all over the book and carpet, but i dont see them leave a mark, i sob until i notice some people walking through my house

“Hello my darling, im home!” I smile wide, no matter how rough my day was, he always manages to cheer me up “I brought Hephaestus and Azalea with me!” He calls out as two small children run up to me “Papa!!! Guess what me an daddi did today!”

”What did you do?” I ask

”We went to the playground, an i see Skylar there, an see be like, hey zalea, wan pway wit me? An i say, oki! An then we pwayed for awhile, an i saw Phestus climbin’ da climbin’ wall!” I watch her and smile at her excited nature, i feign surprise “No. Way. Hephaestus climbed a climbing wall? I dont believe it.” I hear azalea giggle and Hephaestus pipes up “Yeah papa, i dib climb it! I bet you so proud o me!”-

I hear a young woman crying “Azalea, It’s going to be alright,” i see a man i don't recognize comforting my grown daughter “I-im sorry Dahn..... i just- it‘s the anniversary today...” The anniversary of what? Why was she so old now? I run up to her and hug her “Why are you crying my baby? Did someone hurt you?” But i go right through her. she doesnt seem to hear me “That’s perfectly fine, i mean, you lost both your parents, it’s understandable. Dont worry, i’m here for you Azalea.” .... i guess in the end, it was just you and me luka....