Lingonberry for Lauren

Sue's mother had passed away in March of this year, now Sue along with her brothers and sisters were in the middle of going through her house and deciding what to keep and what to donate.

Sue gazed through nostalgic eyes at the family pictures hanging on the walls of her mother's hallway. Pictures of family gatherings for Easter or Christmas. School pictures of her nieces and nephews. Pictures of her brother Tim playing guitar, pictures of her own children at their first martial arts competition, pictures of her and her dad, who has passed away many years ago.

Sue sighed and reached toward the frames to begin taking them down when she heard a crash from the kitchen.

Sue's sister Lauren was on the floor of the kitchen digging through the cupboards. Bags of flour and sugar were on the counter above her next to a large bowl, a stick of butter, and a jar of lingonberry jam.

"What are doing?" Sue asked unceremoniously.

"I was looking through Mom's recipes and found her cards that had all the Christmas cookies. I found the lebkuchen, the walnut crescents, The thumbprint cookies, the pecan rolls, the rum balls, the gateaux bonbons, and the sour cream cookies! I don't even remember the last Christmas mom made those! I looked through all of them, but I couldn't find the one for the spitzbuben. I checked three times!" She exclaimed as she pulled a cookie sheet out from the cupboard and placed it next to the bowl on the counter.

"So, what are you doing?" Sue repeated her initial question feeling like her initial question had been ignored through her sister's narrative.

"Making some." Lauren replied simply as she unwrapped the stick of butter and dropped it into the bowl.

"What? Now? Why?" Sue was a bit at a loss at this.

Lauren shrugged and measured 3 cups of flour into her bowl and began cutting the butter into the flour.

"I've just... I made these cookies with mom so many times... It's hard to think about... You know, how things won't be the same anymore. No more Christmas Eves at mom's house. No more getting the kids together." Lauren added the cup of sugar.

"We haven't done a Christmas Eve here in years. Not since the kids grew up."

Lauren grabbed a smaller bowl out of the cupboard near her head and then reached for the eggs but stopped.

"I know, they move away and so none of us have a reason to spend time together anymore. We used to be friends, you know." Lauren separated the eggs and added the yolks to the flour and butter mixture and set the whites aside.

Sue sighed and leaned against the wall. She watched as Lauren mixed and kneaded the mixture in her bowl.

"What's going on in here?" Their older sister Cheryl asked as she entered the kitchen.

Sue looked at Cheryl and then at Lauren.

Cheryl looked back and forth between her sisters and frowned, "We all have to help here, this house is full of stuff and everyone needs to pull their own weight."

Lauren finished mixing and covered the bowl and set it in the refrigerator to rest.

"Alright Cheryl, that's enough. This isn't easy for any of us you know." Sue attempts.

"Of course it's not, but mom's stuff isn't going to move itself. Besides, what are you even doing? Are you baking? Right now?"

"Yes! I was. I was thinking about Christmas Eve. And how that we the only time we all really got together. Made me think of helping mom make cookies. And I felt like making spitzbuben." Lauren snapped.

Cheryl opened her mouth to say something but stopped herself. She and Sue looked at each other and stood awkwardly in silence. Lauren began to clean up.

Cheryl's eyes settled on the lingonberry jam, "You're not putting that in the spitzbuben are you?"

"What?"

"Lingonberry? Mom never put lingonberry in the spitzbuben."

"What do you mean, of course she did. I've made these with her hundreds of times."

"No, she always used raspberry jelly. I'm sure of it, because I made these for Chris's wedding a couple of years ago and asked her about it."

"Wait, I thought it was supposed to be currant jelly." Sue interjected.

"Look, I was the one that helped mom make the cookies. I know what she used!" Lauren insisted.

"That was at least five years ago! Chris's wedding was only 2 years ago!" Cheryl shot back

"Both of you stop! What difference does it make?" Sue spoke above them.

"Hey what's going on in here?" Their younger brother Louis entered the kitchen carrying a box. "What is everyone yelling about?"

"Lou, what did Mom use to fill the spitzbuben?"Cheryl asked.

"Would you please just drop it?" Sue begged.

Louis set down the box he was carrying on the table and scratched his head. "What's this about?"

"Lauren was making spitzbuben and-" Sue started

"-And this one thinks Mom put raspberry jelly in them!" Lauren announced pointing toward her eldest sister.

"Well, it certainly wasn't lingonberry!" Cheryl snapped.

Louis looked back and forth between his sisters and chuckled, "Oh gosh, I don't know. I only remember Mom's apricot preserves. Didn't she use that?"

"What!?" burst from all three of their lips.

"What? Mom used the apricot preserves in the thumbprint cookies, didn't she?"

"Yes." They nodded in agreement.

Louis shrugged, "I just figured she used it in the spitzbuben as well."

"No, no, no!" The shook their heads emphatically.

"Why don't you just check Mom's recipe card?"

"It's missing." Lauren relayed the news again.

"Huh..." Louis nodded in understanding and looked slowly between his sisters, "So... You're making spitzbuben? Like right now? When will they be ready?"

"They should be ready in another 30 minutes or so." Lauren perked up and smiled at her little brother.

"I'm excited. Let me know when they're ready, Laurie." Louis smiled, picked up the box, and exited the kitchen.

Lauren smiled to herself and retrieved the bowl out of the fridge. She set the oven to preheat and prepared a surface to roll the cookies out.

"Apricot..." Cheryl chuckled softly and followed Louis out of the kitchen.

Sue watched Lauren beginning to roll out the dough and eyed the pantry door where her mom used to keep her jars of apricot preserves. She peeked in the pantry and found her mom's apron hanging from a hook on the back of the door. She smiled at the memory of her mom wearing the white and blue plaid apron. It looked so small now. She lifted it off the hook.

"I think, since you're the boss of the kitchen right now, you should wear this." Sue said holding the apron toward her sister.

Lauren smiled and put the apron on. Her fingers went to the pocket in the front and pulled out a card.

"Oh look, the recipe for spitzbuben!"

Sue and Lauren looked at the card together.

In their mother's handwriting, it read;

Raspberry for Cheryl

Currant for Sue

Lingonberry for Lauren