Primroses

“The primroses are blooming again mother!” 

I called out as my gaze landed on the beautiful garden; she always maintained it like we were royalty! We were not in the slightest way rich, but we lived comfortably in a modest house with a big garden full of primroses. My mother, who was in every way a beautiful woman for her time, loved primroses. She said it reminded her of a fresh start or a soul finding its way into a new life. 

She taught me to always preserve these flowers and make sure they bloom. I can still remember her sweet voice, her strawberry blond hair shining on a warm sunny evening and her gentle, warm touch that suited her motherly personality. It was almost as if she was as dainty as a primrose herself. I used to call her “Primrose” when we went out to garden, instead of her name. My brothers and father used to tend to our horses when they were not training for the army. My father, Mercurius was a well-respected soldier so the expectations for his children were quite high. 

Often, we had a strict upbringing but moments like gardening with my mother or riding with my brothers always made life a little bit better. However, these moments, I can still picture how his face would twist and turn whenever one of us made a mistake that could have been avoided.

“Who did this?” 

After he called us into the living room that is the first thing he would say while holding a primrose between his index finger and his thumb. If one of us did not immediately confess he would start to tear of the primrose petal by petal. It always made me squirm watching him... mishandle the flower like that. His slender fingers would slowly and steadily rip off the top and then continue the flower’s outer rims. We all knew it would mean certain doom if he finished the flower before anyone spoke up- so most times, the guilty party would step forward and claim their punishment or restriction before he could tear the final petal away. Mother hated when he did, this so we as kids stayed out of trouble to keep her happy.

My brothers were the first to join the army. Venus and Plutonus were identical twins, except for their eyes. Venus had these striking amber eyes, while Plutonus resembled our fathers’ eyes, with his colder blue.

The day they set off for official trials was the first time ever I had seen my father cry. He looked so proud of his sons growing into men and fighting for our kingdom. Him being in this kind mood, he decided to give to his sons two tokens. He walked over to the garden where the primroses were in full bloom, carefully ripped them out of the soil and gave them to the twins.

It reminded me of a story we were told in our younger days about Charon the ferryman, who needed a coin to let you onto his ferry. Ironically, primroses signify new beginnings and a fresh start, so I presumed that the flowers were fitting.

They wrote every week about their travels and training. Sometimes they took breaks writing to us because they were busy or on a mission in the big bad wilderness.

Mother and me always disliked the pauses when they happened, wondering if they would be safe and warm. Mercurius always reassured us that they were probably safe because we had not received the black letter yet. That horrible and disgusting black letter was a death announcement of the family’s member in the army.

I had never seen it with my own eyes before, only having heard of it because of my parents and their friends who had children my age or my brother’s. The black letter was feared around every household. And someone unfortunate enough to receive it we mourned for. No one wanted that letter ever.

I had never seen it before with my very own eyes.

Until the day we got two in the letterbox.

I raced down into the house faster than ever. I remember I was sixteen at the time ,and waiting for the new trials to begin, so I could become just like them...

That night we all wept in sorrow for Venus and Plutonus. They had died nobly on the battlefield with hundreds of other people to defend our land.

At first, we tried to deny it. Hoping we were all just in a terrible nightmare that would end soon but it did not, and we had to face reality. Their funerals were not a month later with, of course, primroses aligning their headstones in sorrow...

From that day on I knew what I must do when I get sent out. I knew that it would not take long.

After the huge massacre at the border the kingdom's army was begging for soldiers! I knew I should not be happy or excited, but I could not help myself. Finally, I had a chance to prove myself and make sure I do what must do.

Training went by in what seemed like a flash. I was on top of my class trying to prove my worth and managed to graduate with free choice of where I would end up. Naturally, I stationed myself at the same section they were. Having the same last name, I had to explain at first who I was and that I was North Lilium Featherfall their younger sister.

And when that finally clicked, I earned their respect. Not for what my brothers did, but the fact that even after their deaths I continued to follow the purpose I was born for. I was considered fearless and sometimes even foolish for wishing upon death, but for now... I decided to embrace it.

It turns out, being stationed on the border results in quite a few casualties. For us, these are our friends, our found family and much more, but for the upper in command? Just numbers on a piece of paper that can be expanded whenever they want.

I found this disgusting and inhumane; treating us like cattle while we risk our lives for them on the daily! I knew those soldiers would not be remembered in a proper way, like we all wanted, so I took that into my own hands. Remembering my mothers love for primroses and how they signify new beginnings, I decided to pick up seeds for them and plant them properly.

At first it was a quite a hassle trying to get all the seeds and finding time to plant them all without help. As time flew by things started to change. I for one started to rise in the ranks and unfortunately had even less free time than usual ,and secondly what started as a small patch quickly grew into large fields of primroses on abandoned land way out of the border.

And time added a new worry factor: a man named Lovis.

He was younger than me and less experienced coming straight from training. Around this time, I had received the rank general and even now the flower planting continued. At first, I wondered how he even made it out of the trails with how bubbly and curious he acted. He was quite intriguing with his mindset and how he portrayed himself.

I heard from the other soldiers who were with me longer than I could remember that he seemed interested in why I picked up the flower seeds and what I did with them. Of course, the others steered him from his questions by scaring him like they usually do with the new ones but somewhere in his eyes I could see he still wanted answers.

And soon he got them.

I remember the day as a cloudless, sunny day without any wind to hold you back. It was one of those perfect days mother always describes and so I took my chance and went out to plant the primroses from the last couple weeks. By now the fields had nearly covered all the available space, so I really had to search for spots.

I never did know if he followed me, or stumbled upon me by accident, but now, he stood in the fields. I heard him long before I saw him. Looking at his face, I realised truly how amazed he was. From the time he had arrived until this exact moment I had never seen him like this before. So amazed...

That moment was ruined, unfortunately, when he figured out he got caught red handed.

“General! I’m so... so sorry! I was just so curi-“ He spoke fast and his voice indicated that he was flustered by getting caught.

“Don’t worry Lovis. Sit down. “I made myself reply calmly as I took a seat next to the younger individual in the dirt.

“...You have had questions for a long time now. Ask them and I will answer you honestly.” I attempted to bring out that same motherly tone I remembered my mother having from my youth to attempted make sure I was trustworthy to him.

“.. General. Why do you plant all these?” He stopped for a moment to what I assume, identify the flower so he could call it out right. “... primroses?”

I felt my breath hitch a bit as I tried to think of an answer that seemed fitting.

Not finding the right answer immediately I decided to question him for a moment. “Do you know what primroses signify?’

“Primroses signify new life, youth or rebirth," he answered after thinking about it for a moment.

“Correct. I plant these flowers so the dead can rebirth, and we can remember the fallen," I finally said, confidently remembering my task to keep the death's memory alive.

He went quiet for a moment and let his head sink.

It took a bit, but he raised it again looking at the flowers after revisiting what I just said to him. And that was when I knew my task was complete.

“The primroses are blooming now General.”