Numb

A choking smog hung over the desolate land, obscuring it like a distant, hazy memory. Towering skeletons of rusted iron and shattered concrete loomed like silent sentinels; their surfaces thick with the dust of long-dead dreams.

Tucked among the gnarled, dying roots of what had once been a mighty tree, the teddy bear sat slumped in silence. His fur, patchy and stiff with age, clung to him in tangled tufts. Threads poked from crooked seams like old scars that had never quite healed. He looked less like a toy and more like something forgotten—by time, by hands, by love.

Above him, a noose twisted gently from a decaying limb, swaying in the stale breath of wind that passed through the hollow. The rope creaked now and then, as if whispering to the emptiness.

Bear watched it. He had been watching for a while—how long, he couldn’t say. Time had unravelled here, just like him.

The world had thinned around him, colourless and muffled, like fabric soaked in water. Time felt stretched, heavy. Even the light seemed unsure of itself, settling in shadows that clung too long.

He knew he should stand. Knew he couldn’t stay like this.

But the thought passed through him like wind through hollow straw—noticed, but not held.

He didn’t want to get up.

Not because he lacked strength.

But because standing meant moving forward.

And moving forward meant feeling again.

The stillness had become a kind of safety, even if it reeked of decay. It asked nothing. Demanded nothing. Let him forget—slowly, gently, completely.

But something deeper, buried under the numbness like a flicker beneath ash, whispered. This isn’t living.

He ignored it. Or tried to.

The noose swayed again.

And the bear sat, torn between rotting in place or breaking himself open to move.

Thoughts nagged at him, ‘Get up,’ ‘You’re wasting your life’. He knew he needed to move, to find the motivation to act…but the numbness had taken over his body, he had succumbed to the sweet bliss of giving in and found comfort in hiding there, away from his sorrows. Alas, sorrow cannot be so easily unburdened.

His thoughts continued to nag at him.

Flashes of the past projected painful memories,’ undercut by crippling anxiety, fears of failure, fears of success, fears of more suffering. At least in this state of comfortable numbness he could slowly sink away and avoid further turmoil. His thoughts kept trying to stir him on. In the end, the decision was made for him.

The tree beneath which Bear sought refuge trembled violently, its branches whipping as if in protest. A monstrous shape crashed into view- a beast forged not from nature, but something darker. It’s hide was a chaotic mess of matted fur, stretched out over a body swollen with unnatural muscle, the kind that spoke of corrupted magic.

No living creature should move with such brutal purpose. It’s claws were not the elegant weapons of a predator, but jagged, wicked things, like rusted scythes bolted to flesh, more akin to instruments of war than tools of the world.

Despite its impressive and imposing physique, its features were gaunt, haggard, and beastly but not of the pride of a lion or the underlying docile cuteness of a bear. It looked oddly human from certain angles, in its facial features. It had an almost insect-like carapace.

These were no ordinary predators, these stalwart savages were beasts born from regret, the human heart is filled with doubt. Every decision you did not make, every decision you made and cursed the outcome of every morally corrupt mistake you know was wrong or every time you should have taken a stand and stuck up for yourself. These lingering regrets stain your heart and from that putrid mess on your soul, these beasts are born.

They prowl the wasteland, feeding on negative emotion, they feed on those who have given up. The stench the teddy bear was giving off was all too appetising. His pit of pity and regret bombarded the area with a stench so enticing to these creatures. It was so pungent he had summoned a colossal variant.

The charge caused a tremor, which sent the teddy bear tumbling. The world started rolling around, stirring him from his thoughts. He was half conscious with his eyes shut so was unaware of what had happened, to forcibly remove him from the rut he had resigned himself to. A part of him still waiting to lie down, keep his eyes shut, just let what will be…be…but he couldn’t, there was still a persistent voice telling him he still had a purpose, he still had worth. He didn’t believe the voice, a part of him felt like the voice should mind its own business. It was conjured by his own mind but that did not mean it spoke for all of him.

The bear relented though stood up and opened his eyes, he immediately regretted this decision and cursed his conscious for making him do it. At least moments ago, he still had the comfort of blissful ignorance, now though the teddy bear could not ignore the grim reality of the situation.

A creature of pure negativity, wrapped in a shell of indomitable muscle, garnished with razor-sharp claws and gnarly teeth, was snarling at the defenceless teddy bear, readying another charge.

His numbness subsided and gave way to primal fear.

Some fears are irrational, fearing spiders that are not venomous and 100’s of times smaller yourself, or being brought to tears by tiny, pinprick needles, giving the recipient health benefits and life-saving treatments, in exchange for one, small barely registerable sting in your arm. These are fears bore of the brains inability to rationalise how insignificant a danger they possess. What the teddy bear was feeling now was primal fear, terror gripping a being's very soul, evolutionary fear passed down from generations of encounters with death.

The beast charged, every fibre of the teddy bear screamed at him to move, except the usual, soul-destroying, unrelenting thought that whispered, ‘What’s the point, you can’t win anyway.’ This was the voice the teddy bear listened to, it made the most sense to him, ‘Why bother, if I let it finish me it will only hurt for a second, but if I carry on, the pain will continue…’

The juggernaut tore through him tearing his face. He anticipated the next attack, longed for it. ‘It hurts, it hurts, please just make it end,’ the fear was cleansed from his body, he accepted what was about to happen.

The beast lunged teeth first and the bear, ‘Here it comes.’ He could feel the ground shaking as the beast drew near, he could smell its vile breath as its maw gaped closer to him, ‘release.’ He stood with his arms and legs spread wide, ready to embrace this fate. ‘You are better than this’. He jumped out of the way, the beast fell to the ground, smashing its face into the dirt and awkwardly folding into itself.

It lunged with such confidence and velocity, missing its target caused it to ungraciously collapse.

‘Capitalise on it you fool, go,’ his head raved at him. He looked down at his hand, all that was there was a soft, squashy paw. No fist, no claws, no weapon to defend himself with, nothing to fight back against this cruel world, just a rounded, cuddly nub.

The dark carnivore rose to its feet, with renewed hatred in its eyes. It had been humiliated by what it thought was an easy meal, this enraged the brute, it thrust at him again, would the teddy Bear's body react or sluggishly take the hit? He narrowly dodged out of the way of the assault still in disbelief at his utter lack of defences.

He did not want to fight in the first place, now how could he fight? The creature crashed into a nearby delipidated school, breaking through the wall as it clumsily toppled into it, having missed another attack. This made a stationary cupboard topple over, supplies were now strewn across the floor. Pencils, rubbers, elastic bands littered the area.

As the critter was righting itself, the teddy bear, who was still entirely there, his mind not fully able to deal with or exist on this plane of existence, partly called away from reality by the crescendo of thoughts still plaguing his mind, noticed the pencils on the ground.

The pencils were brand new out of the box, sharp, and ready to use. He picked one up and examined it, the beast was still stumbling over rubble and getting increasingly riled up trying to mount another offensive.

The teddy bear thought for a minute, then decided if he didn’t have claws to defend himself then he would make a claw. The teddy bear wrapped three pencils in an elastic band and tried to wrap it around his paw.

Unfortunately, he had been engrossed in this D.I.Y project for too long and had ignored the looming death that now pounced on top of him.

The teddy bear was down pinned under the weight of this colossal abomination, he had managed to conjure up just enough care, just enough motivation to try and make a stand but it was all for naught as because of his foolishness, his weakness, it was now over, he had now lost the opportunity to not be worthless and stand up for himself…for once.

The lingering, complaints from his mind returned, criticising every decision he had ever made, ‘you’re the reason they did what they did’. Punished by vague memories he felt the vermin’s saliva drip down his face as it leaned in to devour. The words, ‘Is this all I was worth,’ rang in his mind. As he felt that primal fear grip, like a tight vice around his chest.

The creatures face drewin for the finisher.

The stench of its breath was, pungent, yet sobering.

Just then the Teddy bear's body reacted, his paw, loosened from under the creature as he jammed the pencil into its eye.

The creature let out a blood-curdling cry as it leaped back away from him. Rage filled the creature’s expression as its veins throbbed and black clouds emitted from its body.

The beast was ready for another assault, the teddy bear’s mind raced as he tried to comprehend his predicament and whether or not he could walk away from this.

It was do or die time and he had come to the realisation he wasn’t ready to die. For the first time in a long time, he felt he wanted to live, his body buzzed with adrenaline, could he fight this beast though, could he overcome himself and triumph?

The juggernaut charged its claws poised to gauge his throat the teddy bear dodged between its claws, narrowly, slightly catching some of his threading and positioned himself against the rubble of the school. Again, the brute threw itself at him with more ferocity, a blind rage charge to end this puny creature who mocked it with its continued existence.

The bear barely evaded as the beast stumbled on the rubble and crashed to the ground.

Unfortunately, Because the bear narrowly avoided the attack it put him off balance and he nearly toppled over but stiffened his leg with determination, corrected his poise and launched himself into the air. ‘This is my chance, please don’t screw this up', his thoughts roared at him.

He plunged the pencil into the collapsed creature’s eye. ‘Not far enough.’

The creature writhed under neath him nearly throwing him off, the teddy bear steadied his footing, He summoned the last scraps of strength he had, hands trembling, breath ragged, and with a desperate, broken cry tore the pencil deeper into its socket.

The creature squirmed, let out a desperate gurgled scream, then fell silent and still.

The teddy bear collapsed beside the beast, exhausted but most of all in disbelief at his accomplishment. He stood over the colossal corpse, his body was trembling, his ears were ringing. He felt a thudding in his temples, like his heat beat was in his head.

As he stared down at the lifeless creature, he could feel the overwhelming joy he was still alive, but the exhaustion and ache started to set in.

The motivation he felt a moment ago was beginning to be drown out by aches, pains, and foggy tiredness.

The teddy bear wanted to go back to sleep under the tree but he was spurred on, wheter by a new lease of life brought on by the near-death experience, or the adrenaline still running through his system, he could not say.

He stumbled onwards towards the structures he could see in the distance. His steps heavy with renewed purpose.

As he wandered off, he was completely oblivious to his watcher in the distance. She was of a petite frame, clad in an all-white outfit reminiscent of a nurse's uniform, donning a mask covering all her face, sat atop a telegraph pole. She gazed at the teddy bear with quiet contemplation.