Daisy

Daisy

By Joy Lin

Sunlight was trying to peek through the window shades in my room. Sympathy cards were strewn on the carpet. A vase filled with fresh daisies was crying out for attention.

“Come in.” I muffled with my face in my pillow.

The knock came again.

I raised my neck in an awkward seal-like position, “Come in!”

My mom peeped her head through the door, holding a cup of tea in her hands. She cautiously approached me like trying not to scare a stray cat away. “Do you want to eat? You need to eat”.

I hadn’t eaten for day.I wasn't hungry, just empty.

Mom sat down gently on my bed.  I turned my puffy, tear-streaked face to her. “I’m ok.” 

She raised her eyebrow at my pathetic attempt. “You know she is with us, her spirit is watching you right now”.

My left-brain refused to process this thought. I sat up, challenging my mom’s thought. “Ok, grandma Lily, if you are here right now, do something. Show me a sign.”

The room remained in stillness, no movement, not even a shift in the breeze coming from the window. I looked to my mom coldly, “Should I get out the Ouija Board?”

Mom looked defeated. “I miss her too, but I know she is watching over us.” 

My eyes welled up with tears. “I want her here, now with us! I…I thought she was fine, the doctors said… I…I...the medicine, I didn’t mean to….”.

Mom pulled me close for a hug. “I know…I know… it’s not your fault ….she understands…”

“How? How does she understand? Oh wait, she’s giving you signs, right?,” I glared at my mom.

I wanted to wallow in my guilt, in the sadness. 

“I need some air”. I got up and brushed past my mom, down the stairs and out the door. Her pitiful looks and the essence of death flowers in the house were suffocating me. 

My parents worked so, grandma Lilly’s house was my after school day care. She had practically raised me, my grandma Lily. She was more of a mom to me than my actual mom.

I let her down. I messed up. 

You could even say I killed her, but my parents were quick to dismiss those claims. I was rushed, the medicine looked the same as before.

“Stop it Jane!”I said this loudly to myself, instructing my brain not to think that way. “Stop, stop!!” I shook my head frantically, hoping that the thoughts would magically fall out.

A passing couple walking their dog looked at me questionably.

I was embarrassed, and walked faster towards the local shops now.  I stopped and noticed the daisies in the park. I walked over, picked one and breathed in the clean, fresh smell.

With the exhale I let go of my stress.

I looked up to find myself surrounded by the stalls in the weekend market. I wandered aimlessly, until I stopped at a little table with a chalkboard sign, “Psychic Medium Zelda, Reading, healings, and talking to Spirits”.

Usually, I would pass up this sort of thing, but today I was drawn to it. The old woman looked at me with kind eyes and signalled me to sit. She was the cliche’ looking psychic with a scarf around her head and gold chains and crystals all around her wrists.

I was awkward, “I have never done this type of thing before but my grandma---“ 

Zelda cut me off quickly, “Tell me no more child! Let me look ! Please give me something of yours to hold”. I took off my necklace and handed it to her. Zelda looked at it intently. It was a daisy, my lucky flower. “Pretty,” she remarked then closed her eyes. 

When she spoke again, Zelda was quite solemn. “Your grandma passed away recently?”.

“Yes”, I spoke softly, biting my lip. 

“She loved you very much”

“But is she here… is she with me?” 

“Of course she is,” Zelda answered lovingly. “They never leave us.” 

“Ok...can you describe her?’

Zelda squinted her eyes focusing on the necklace. “Did she have dark hair?”

“No”.

“Light color hair?”

“Well, that is the opposite color of dark, isn’t it one or the other… sorry... I don’t think you’re helping….”

“Shhh shh,” Zelda hushed me. “She was sick…a lot.. I see lots of different medicines with her..”

I could feel my tears come back again. “Ok, I’m done, is she here or not..?”

Zelda gave a sympathic smile. “She is, just look for signs.”

“What signs?! Her name on a billboard? Her favorite flower, lilies? Her lucky number perhaps? You can’t even get her hair colour right!”

The market security guard appeared, “Is there a problem?”

I had created a ruckus. All eyes were on me and I was yelling at the poor psychic.

“No, I was just leaving!”. I got up and stormed off, crashing into a guy carrying a bunch of flowers. The flowers scattered everywhere, drawing more attention to myself. At this point I just wanted to run. So I ran home as fast as I could, through the park, back to my neighbourhood.  

I opened the front door. 

“Jane? Is that you”, mom asked.

I barged into the living mom. Mom was busy placing the cookies on a plate and Great Aunt Margret was blowing away the steam from her tea. 

“What happened to you”?, she was horrified. 

“What?”, I asked. 

My mom pointed at the giant mirror in the hallway.

A girl with messy hair, furrowed brows, and dirty cheeks looked back. Daisy petals were tangled in my hair with one giant Daisy dangled from my ponytail.

I brushed my hair and mumbled apologies.

My great aunt laughed and tapped the empty chair next to her. “She reminds me so much of Daisy!”

I sluggishly walked towards them and asked, “Who’s Daisy?”

Great Aunt Margret chuckled, ”Oh sorry, your Grandma Lily. We used to tease her at school and call her a different flower every day. But Daisy kind of stuck and well, Daisy became her thing after a while. You remind me of your grandma, that’s all.”

I gazed blankly at her. I never knew. “Daisy is my favorite flower.”

My great aunt reached up and plucked the daisy from my ponytail. “I see that!” She held the daisy in front of me. “She’s with you.”