A Autumn Day

By the time I stepped outside, the leaves were on fire. And I don’t mean literally as some may assume by reading this. I mean fire only Mother Nature herself could create. The reds and oranges swirled together against the autumn sky making the trees seem ablaze. As I stepped, wrapped in my soft fleece throw, onto my porch, I closed my eyes and breathed deeply, allowing the smells to center me in that perfect moment. I opened my eyes and sighed softly, a small smile playing on my lips as I gazed across my lawn littered with the leaves from my large tree. The kids had created small piles of the leaves, jumping into them and creating small splashes of color against the now dull yet somewhat still green grass. This morning had been the usual havoc of getting ready for school. Finding the face coverings. Finding school work. Finding shoes and socks. Yet somehow, while waiting for the bus to take them to school, they managed to create this scene that gave me a sense of normality.

 I sat on my porch and glanced at my phone. Updates on the pandemic littered my news feed. My texts. I sat the phone down and wrapped my throw tighter around me. The world was havoc too. I thought of this morning and my own havoc. The havoc of being a mom in a world threatened by a disease that acted like a common cold. The havoc of protecting my kids from it. The havoc of just staying safe and healthy. I frowned to myself and glanced around the neighborhood. Adults coming and going, masks on even in their cars. Had the paranoia about the pandemic reached such a high level that we were scared to even enter our own cars? I shook off the thought as I stood up and stretched my arms out, my throw falling off and onto the porch. I bent down to grab it and as I stood up, a flash of red caught my eyes. I shook it off as a falling leaf and wandered around to my backyard to watch the birds. 

I sat on my daughter’s tree swing and closed my eyes, listening to the soft creaking of the rope and my socked feet pushing the ground softly. A few birds chirped and I heard some rustling in the bushes. I opened my eyes and let out a soft gasp. By the bushes was a beautiful fox, just sitting there as if he owned the place. I didn’t move. I don’t even think I let out a overly loud breath. He moved quickly and my eyes followed him as he dove into another bush. I smiled softly again and tilted my head backwards and pushed the ground harder, the coolness of the air hitting my face as the swing took off. I brought my head back up and saw the sky again. The blue seemed brighter as the tops of the trees clashed with it. A painting. I stopped the swing and walked back towards my house, listening to the music of the breeze in the trees, the crunch of the leaves beneath my feet. A song. As I rounded the front of the house, the bus with my kids pulled up. As they all clamored off, I couldn’t help but laugh as they happily jumped back into the piles of leaves from earlier, forgetting they had masks on. Forgetting the pandemic. Forgetting the worries of school, of the world, for a few sweet minutes. Backpacks were dropped by the big tree. Pinks, camos and yellows against a firm beautiful brown. I walked to the backpacks and went to pick them up to check for homework. A soft breeze blew and kissed my face as I bent down to grab the bags. I sighed and changed my mind turning to watch my kids play. I sat with my back against the tree and laughed as they threw leaves like confetti into the sky. Safe sparks from a safe fire. I stood up and started gathering some sticks, enjoying the soft 'clack' as they fell one on top of the other in my arms. I decided to start a small fire in the pit in my yard, crouching low and stacking the sticks into a teepee. My kids let out a loud laugh and I glanced up, laughing as well upon seeing my oldest with leaves stuck in his hair. He grabbed a handful and crunched them into his brothers hair and his sister let out a happy shriek, running away as her brothers chased her with leaves. 

I turned back to my project at hand and after setting the sticks, I checked to make sure the gates were locked before running into the house. A warm crisp smell followed me. I threw up my kitchen window and listened to the kids as I dug into my junk drawer, searching for matches. I found them and grabbed some marshmallows, chocolate, graham crackers and hot dogs, smiling to myself. The kids had been begging for a special night with mom. I set the items on a rock and grabbed my phone to text their father and step mom, inviting them to come over for a “Pandemic Autumn Cookout” After a few “lols” they agreed and within 10 minutes, came pulling up to the house. The kids came bursting from around back, eyes bright and cheeks red like a crisp fresh apple. I smiled as they jumped into their dad and step mom’s arms as if they had not seen them in years. I started working in setting the fire and grabbed some cooking sticks from the shed. By the time the fire was ready, the sky had turned pink purple and blue. Another one of Mother Natures famous paintings. 

I yawned softly, watching the kids play catch with their dad, faces coated in smores. I started gathering all the trash and yawned again. The sky was fading into a bruised dark purple, stars starting to make their appearance. My eyes adjusted and after I discarded the trash, I sat on the ground next to the kids step mom, chatting about our days, the kids, another antic by my kids dad that made us laugh loudly. By the time the day was over and mother nature painted her own version of a starry night, my daughter had fell asleep on her dad, the boys were half asleep watching the sky and me and the kids step mom were just enjoying a perfect end to the day. 

It took all three of us adults to get the kiddos in the house, into their beds and tucked in tightly. As I shut out the lights to their rooms, I smiled. I walked into the kitchen, grabbed some wine and three glasses, to which my kids father and step mom accepted happily. I flipped on the TV and yawned, watching the news. 20 more positive patients. 5 more deaths. I quickly turned the TV to the HDMI for video games and after another glass of wine, all of us played the WII, laughing. 

I forgot about the pandemic. I forgot about tomorrow being another day. I forgot about the masks laying discarded in my yard, knowing they would need washed before I went to bed. I looked at the two adults that made me feel normal, I glanced towards the rooms of three kids who helped me remain happy, positive and who reminded me today that my life isn’t just about havoc or being paranoid 24/7. 

I realized that it may not be a normal autumn, but my God it was the most perfect autumn during a pandemic that I could get.