The Old General

General Broderick Hook is a legend in his own mind. He hadn't quiet fancy the idea that legends are mostly always dead. He was honorably discharged from the Army in 1975 as a private but, if you let old Broderick tell the tale he is a top ranking General who single handily saved an entire regiment by making a make shift bomb out of an old tin can, some aluminum foil, chewing gum and gun powder.

The General was born and raised in BlueVine his mother was a maid and his father was a farmer. He had a happy childhood in spite of times being tough. Early on Broderick had decided that he was going to go off and become rich and successful and take care of his parents. IT would seem that every week young Broderick was signing up for a new craft or activity he was certain that the more that he knew the further that he could go and he was destined to go far he could feel it in his bones.

His father tried talking to him about finishing a task and seeing it to the end. But, Broderick was certain that his way was best, this way he could know something about everything. His entire life went this way starting and stopping one new hobby after the other.

When it was time to go off to college unlike his fellow classmates Broderick did not have enough credits to go to college as he never finished anything that he had started.

But, Broderick had a plan he would join the Army and work his way up the ranks and still be able to take care of his parents and in 1974 that is exactly what Broderick Hooks did he enlisted in the United States Army. He was certain that the military could appreciate a man of his many skills and talents.

The General mind refocused he told them about the time that the he had miraculous saved twelve Navy Sealmen who had accidently crossed into enemy territory and was being held captive at sea by taking one of the steel doors off its hinges and glued a compass to the top of the door and used the deck mop and broom and sailed out to the men and was able to get all three of them aboard his make shift raft and sailed back to the safety of his ship without being detected by the enemy.

TThe Old General had a plethora of stories like these. According to him there is not much that he cannot do. He sits back in his worn but comfortable oversized chair with a pipe in his mouth and tells the yungins about the time when his platoon cook got sick and he had to cook for over two hundred men. The General clears his throats and says, "Two hundred and fifty to be exact in the dead of winter and with no way to unlock the freezer or food locker." The General explained that the cook had taken the keys with him when he was transported to the hospital.

So the old general with just three laces of shoe strings, a piece of bamboo branch and some worms that he had dug up in the frozen iceland using one of the kitchen big spoon was able to catch and cook enough fish to feed the entire platoon.

The General reconnected the time that he and some of his buddies left based for some RR he tells the crowd that Rest and Relaxation to you and one of the men was talking and flirting with a beautiful, tall and curvy lady when her boyfriend and his buddies came in. The General wanted to make it clear they where outnumbered three to one but, the General was going down easy. He took off his shoe and removed his socks and filled them the balls from the pool table and when the trouble started he had slung those socks knocking out the men. He laughed and said, "To avoid having to clean the latrines in the morning he and his buddies hurriedly, made their way back to the base.

The General recalled the time when the Brigidaire had arrived on base and two of the men boots where not shined and their was no black shoe polish anywhere to be found. The Old General remember that the soot from the barnfire earlier in the week and he scooped up enough to cover four shoes. He added in a small amount of glue and gave each me a brillo pad and told them to rub the mixture into their shoes using the pad. The General remembers how the Brigidaire carried on about how shiny and we'll polished that these to officers shoes looked. According to the General the Brigidaire admonished him and the other men to have their shoes looked the same the next time he comes through.

The General shared that he did not mind the men receiving the compliment as he knew it was his labor of love his ability to learn new hobbies that had earned them those compliments.

No one really knows why the General was honorably discharged after only eighteen months of service. Some speculated that it was his inability to follow through on a task. While, others suggested that he was maybe just a little touched in the head. Whatever, the reason the Old General was proud of his service and more prouder to share his adventures with his neighbors and friends.

Like the time when the phone lines went down and they needed them for their orders in the morning. The General took a heavy cast iron lid and a wooden spoon and set next to the speaker intercom in the mess hall and using old Morse code was able to effectively tap out the next days orders to the platoon saving the whole mission by himself.

The General smirked to himself and said out loud, "I served my country and my men well."

Just about everyone in Bluevine had heard of the general. He was the buck of many jokes. Some teased and said he was the jack of all trades but, the master of none. While, others marveled at his ability to not only tell creative tales but, to continuously reinvent himself again and again by learning new and intetesting hobbies.

At any rate the General wasn't really hurting anyone with his wild tales and his stories where indeed legendary people came from all over to hear about the amazing adventures of General/Private Broderick Hooks.