Contemporary Funny

Friday. The most splendid day of the week. People would argue that Saturday was the best day, and some might even suggest Sunday had its merits, but in my humble opinion, Friday was the most wonderful day. Or, more specifically, Friday night.

Entering invoices all day long wasn’t a difficult job, but it could be mind-numbing at times. The place I worked at wasn’t particularly stressful either, some might even say it was laidback. Despite these facts, it remained that my least favorite thing to do on this planet Earth was wake up early and leave my apartment for anything other than food.

So, when 5PM chimed on my wristwatch alerting me that the workday was over and that I could pack up and go home for the weekend, I felt like dancing. Nothing felt better than clocking out knowing you didn’t have to clock back in until two whole days had passed.

Two whole days of sleeping in, popcorn, and nonstop movie-viewing.

When I pulled into my apartment complex’s parking lot, I felt like I was crossing a finishing line. I had completed the race, and I was triumphant. Time to claim my reward, as they say.

I nearly ran up the stairs to my apartment, eager to get out of my work clothes and into some comfy pajama pants and a T-shirt. When I opened the door, I was met with silence. Glorious, beautiful silence. I couldn’t be happier for the lack of noise.

Another reason I loved Fridays so fervently was that my roommate, Seth, went out for the night. Unlike me, Seth was uncontented with staying home when there was partying to be done. His philosophy was that if there was no work the next day then there was no reason to be in bed before 4AM. Which, to me, was the definition of insanity.

Seth and I had been friends for years, and living with him wasn’t so bad. He was just… loud, and in constant need of companionship. I didn’t mind hanging out with him, but I needed time to recharge my social batteries every now and again. He didn’t understand that, his own batteries recharged by being sociable and interacting with others, and would barge into my room whenever he felt the desire to do so declaring it was time to do something when all I wanted to do was nothing. It could get irksome, irritating even, but it was fine. I could deal with it, as long as I had my Friday nights to myself.

I changed into my nightclothes, sighing with content as soon as I was done. The possibilities of the night ahead were endless, and, like a child walking toward a playground, I felt giddy with excitement for the activities to come.

I started off with microwaving some popcorn, then grabbed two of the many carbonated drinks we kept a healthy stock of in the fridge. Nourishment was necessary for nights of fun. Once I had my food and drink in hand, I made my way into the living room – my kingdom to rule over for the next five to six hours – and began my search for the first movie of the evening.

It started off perfectly: me perusing the long list of movies in my to-be-watched list, preemptively shoveling popcorn into my mouth like the glutton that I was, some of which nearly getting dropped whenever I made myself laugh while criticizing some of the titles on my movie list, all while nestled comfortably on my couch. I was in for the perfect night…

…until I heard a key turning in the front door.

I nearly jumped when Seth came walking into the living room. I had prayed that the sound of my roommate opening and closing the front door, sighing, and walking down the hallway had just been figments of my imagination. Long shot, but one can dream right?

“Heya hiyo,” Seth greeted, plopping himself into the chair next to the couch – his usual spot. He was dressed in one of his many Friday night attires; a dark green T-shirt under a leather jacket and tight jeans. His medium-length blond hair was combed back out of his face and wrapped into a small ponytail. He was relatively handsome, especially when he put in the effort like this, and would sometimes not come home until mid-afternoon the next day claiming to have spent the night at some girl’s house. I found myself sometimes jealous of his mastery of the social scene but couldn’t really find it in me to accompany him out of the apartment to learn his ways. I was content to stay right here on the couch, alone in my PJs, watching a movie or TV show to keep myself entertained.

An activity which, I had the sinking feeling, would not be enjoyed in solitude tonight.

“What are you,” I started to say, but quickly backtracked. I didn’t want to seem angry that he was home before the sun was down. Though to be honest I wasn’t particularly thrilled about it either. “I thought you were going out tonight?”

Seth shrugged, kicking his shoes off and nudging them with his feet to the side of the chair, an act that will always irk me. Why have a shoe rack by the front door if we weren’t going to use it?

“Plans fell through,” he explained in his usual nonchalant tone. “Was supposed to go to the bar tonight, but Dan and Jerry bailed because their girlfriends signed them up for some class or something.” He then proceeded to make whipping noises.

I said nothing to this, not entirely sure what I was supposed to say. Did I agree with him? I thought it was kind of sweet his friends were spending time with their significant others but didn’t have the energy to debate with him about it. He was always up for some good-natured arguing, and although I could appreciate the occasional bickering myself, I wanted nothing more than for him to skedaddle out of the room to let me enjoy some peace.

“Oh, popcorn!” Seth reached over and grabbed a handful of my popcorn, stuffing his face with it all at once. Pieces fell onto his shirt and lap, rolling onto the carpet when he moved. I wasn’t exactly a neat freak, but at least I had the decency to clean up after myself. Watching Seth ignore the mess he was making only added to my annoyance.

“So, no one else wanted to hang out tonight?” I asked, doing my best to make it seem like it was nothing more than a curious inquiry and not the desperate plea that it was.

“I tried hitting up Sam,” he said, wiping the popcorn crumbs from his stubbly chin. “I guess she’s going to some sold-out movie event tonight with some of her chick friends. Couldn’t get me in.”

“That’s unfortunate.”

“It is what it is. Maybe next Friday.” He turned to me then, grinning boyishly. “So, I figured, hey, why not head home and watch a movie or two with my favorite roomie?”

I was about to point out that I was his only roommate but caught myself. I knew that’s what he wanted. Corny dork that he was.

I sighed, knowing there was no way I could find a way to convince him to leave me alone for the night. He reached over and grabbed some more of my popcorn, and I knew I’d have to go make more if I were to get any with those grabby fingers of his around.

“You want a drink?’ I asked, standing to head to the kitchen.

“Beer, please!” he called out after me, a little too exuberantly. ‘And one for you too!”

 I shook my head, amused. As much as I was annoyed that my night of solitude was interrupted, I could appreciate that my friend genuinely was excited to hang out with me. I suppose watching a movie and drinking a little with him wasn’t the worst thing in the world.

“What are we watching anyway?” Seth asked.

“I was thinking something funny, maybe a romantic comedy or-”

“Nah,” he interrupted me. “Let’s watch John Wick again!”

Like Seth said, there was always next Friday.

July 26, 2021 01:47

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