Dear James

Dear James,

Please don’t slack off on this assignment. Why? Because it would affect my grade too. This is our big end-of-the-year project. This makes you pass or fail. Please don’t ruin it.

For  the first part of the time I’ll be in New York, which the teacher said was okay. Please send the letters there. They’ll find me, I’m sure. 

Best,

Allison

Dear Allie, 

I'll do the stupid project. Just try not to make it too much harder than it has to be. You know, I’m not trying to fail. It would totally hurt my chances of being picked up for college or even major league sports.

Mine truly,

James

Dear James,

I’m glad you at least have some sort of goal for the future. I would like to go to a good college too.

That’s why I’m in New York currently, to get some credit as well as apply. I’ve visited over 35 states, and read as much as possible. Plus I’m involved in several honor programs and extracurricular activities.

Wish me luck!

Best,

Allison

P.S. Don’t call me Allie.

Dear Allie,

I have already met several of my goals: I’ve met and took pictures with 20 different school mascots, I’ve dropped an egg off a roof, and broke both my arms twice.

I wonder who’s going to be more successful, we’ve both accomplished so much!

Cheers,

James

Dear  James,

I hope you’re doing well, as always.

I know you’re only writing me because it’s a school project. I know you barely read these. And I know you don’t want this to be harder than it has to be.

But, here’s the thing. I have a problem. I don’t know if you’ve read this far, but if you have, thank you. I need help, and to sort out my thoughts. Everyone else would laugh or get angry, but I’ve known you for long enough to know that you won’t care. Maybe you’ll help me, maybe not. But I need to get it off my chest.

Last week, right after I mailed my last letter, I ran into someone. Rather, they ran into me. Not anyone strange, exactly. He was extremely, boringly normal, actually. Normal hair, dull eyes, plain face, thirty-ish years old. Forgettable, really. Except… Except, he acted strange. He dropped his packages, and hardly noticed. When I picked them up for him, he accused me of theft. He seemed distracted by someone, like his mind was literally somewhere else. I don’t know his name.

Anyway, this by itself is strange but not an actual problem. But I kept bumping into him. Over and over, and he hardly seemed to recognize me. Just one little thing really threw me off. He knew my name, and I’m sure I didn’t tell him.

Again, if you read the whole letter, thank you. If you can reply with advice, I’ll be forever grateful.

Best,

Allison

Dear Allie,

Frankly, I’m offended you think I don’t read your letters! It might be true occasionally, but it really shows your lack of faith in me.

As for your, ahem, issue, I think you must’ve made a new friend! You do have a tendency to do that. You’re just too nice. If you’re nervous around him, try to ask him some questions. This will maybe throw him off. Or he might decide that you’re the perfect candidate for the secret agent program he works for. If this is the case, please, please, please, please drag me into it. Because that would be sooooooo much better than hanging around the house.

See, I do read your letters! 

Hope I was sorta helpful,

James

Dear James,

I've told you before, don’t call me Allie.

I’m so proud of you! You actually read my letter and gave a pertinent response! (In case you didn’t know, pertinent means related.)

Thank you so much for your advice, it was surprisingly helpful! He didn’t mention a secret agent program, but maybe I’ll ask him when I see him next.

Are you ready to move to the next part of the project? It’s mid-July already. How would you like to do it? I’ll be back from New York next week, we can work on it then. I think a colorful poster or tri-fold would look nice.

Best, 

Allison

Dear Allison Georgetta Spears,

You will always be Allie to me. Why? Because I know it bugs you, and I know you secretly love it.

And of course I know what pertinent means, I’m not a total idiot.

I can’t say truthfully that I want to start the project, just because it sounds so boring, and I’m obviously very busy, but for you, I’ll try to make time.

What was the next part of the project again?

Truly me,

James

Dear James,

I hope you know you’re annoying.

Best,

Allison

Dead Allie,

I just love receiving your heartfelt letters. They just really brighten up my day. Between your sarcastic insults, and your teacher-ish formality, I feel like I know you so much better, which I suppose wasn’t hard since we never even talked before this. 

I’m only just sorta  kidding.

Bestest wishes,

James

P.S. Seriously, what’s the next part of the project? I have no idea. I would totally fail if you weren’t my partner.

Dear James,

That was really sweet. I had no idea you had it in you. You’re always playing sports and things, and I’m pretty sure the only reason you haven’t failed is because of your love of sports and not wanting to be kicked off the team. But I can see now there’s a little more to you than just that. 

Knowing this, I saw him again. You know, the one I kept bumping into? He called himself Old Man Ollie, even though he’s hardly old. He showed up again yesterday and wanted to know more about me. I didn’t tell him much, since I definitely don’t trust him. I need help! He’s always at the post office, can you meet me there?

Best,

Allison

Dear, dear, Allie,

Of course I’ll help you. I’ll bring a pack of  survival-ly things so we’re prepared, because I’m totally hoping he’s part of a secret government organization. Or better yet, a secret organization that’s operating against government orders! Sorta. Actually, that might be dangerous and scary. For you, of course, not me. I’m not afraid of anything.

So excited and can’t wait and electrified,

James

P.S. Bring some of your cookies.

Dear James,

You’re a lost cause. I swear, if you get us killed, I will kill you. You literally joined the most dangerous job they would offer you. And because I’m apparently also an idiot and care too much about you, I followed. 

Plus, we need to start on the school project. You’ve been avoiding it, I know. Don’t even pretend you aren’t. It’s practically August and you owe me. You won’t get any more cookies, or treats of any kind from me until we’ve done the project and done it well. I’m not planning on failing high school because someone keeps making poor choices.

Best,

Allison

P.S. GET TO WORK!!

Dear Allie,

I love you. I’m seriously not kidding. Yes, I confessed on a dare from some of the other guys, but it’s true. I can’t help it, and I’m so freaking lucky the teacher assigned me the most annoying, most orderly, most unlike person from me ever. 

I can’t wait for our next mission. I promise we won’t die. And I will help you finish the project, because your cookies are literally the best. You’ve won prizes for them, right? 

Love (I can’t believe I just wrote that),

James

Dear James,

I can't believe you wrote that either.

You are crazy, stupid, and annoying.

You’re also one of the best people I’ve ever met. 

This is our last assigned school letter, but I have a feeling you won’t ever leave me alone any time soon. In life, in our new job, in school.

Thank you.

Love, 

Allison

P.S. You better have finished the project.