Not So Refreshing

I stood there at the mall, and watched the cat pour tea—whether it was for someone else or itself, I didn’t know. It was like those animal movies and books—the cat stood upright on two paws like a human. But little does anyone know that animals—especially this cat—make tea. Especially in a shop. Though it is a mall shop, with a huge glaring neon red name of Tea 4 U like in those night clubs or bars, it is still run by a cat. A cat with a velvet bowtie.             

The more I watched, the more I wondered whether he was making all that tea for himself. He seemed to be making it for his customers, but even if he was, how could a cat be making tea for humans? I looked around myself, and then stared, wide-eyed, at all these cats walking around, going in and out of the stores, entering and exiting the mall’s two sets of double doors. I looked back over at who I assumed was the shop owner. I know I said it’d be weird if people got served tea, but… the smell of green tea—my favorite kind—wafted over to me. Its deliciousness pulled me forward, my mouth watering just at the sight of it.

Suddenly, I saw a huge paw come down in front of me like a red and white striped metal bar comes down in front of a car in a parking garage. “Stop!” The cat immediately stole my attention. “Don’t!” I glowered at it! No one had the right to disown my favorite drink. This mall was a free place to buy, window shop, eat and sit with friends. I didn’t need some tabby cat telling me what to do. I ordered her to leave me alone.           

But she pulled me back. “You see,” she looked at me right in the eye (she was about my height), “that cat has been serving tea here forever. I don’t need to see another human being turned into a cat because they naively believe they’re in for a treat. You don’t understand what’s at stake here!

“Please,” putting her paws together and begging me, “please don’t drink that tea!”                      

I looked over. The cat was now filling his third row of tea cups. He was silently pouring from a glass kettle. I looked back at the cat, studying her. She was orange, pale stripes covering her from ears to paws. Her tail curled around. I asked whether she could go on all fours. She said we cats could do whatever we’d like—because we were cats forever here in this mall. Everyone entering this mall and exiting this mall is a cat. They could never be humans again.  

I laughed, saying this cat didn’t know what it was saying. Before the now hysterical cat could block me from any more tantalizing smells, I darted right up to the counter, ordering some green herbal tea. My throat itched, so I asked for some white tea as well. The cat with the velvet red bowtie nodded quietly, and he ordered his assistant to give me the two cups of tea. I heard the feline beg and beg and beg, but I ignored her.                                                   

“Aren’t we going to just have 9 lives? I mean, what’s with this self-induced state of panic?” The assistant cat shrugged, bringing me the tea. Taking it in my hands, I looked at the watery substance, smelling its distinct flavor “Why is she so feverish about stopping me—”           

Suddenly, she knocked the tea everywhere. The assistant immediately cleaned it, but the tabby grabbed my face, making puffy cheeks. “No, no!” Her yellow eyes were going a little crazy. I jerked away from her.

“Please!” She whimpered, her tail flickering. “Please, for my sake.”       

I heaved a huge sigh. Blinking, I bit my lip. I was thirsty, and I didn’t pack a water before my day of window shopping. And then this cat person whatever interrupted me! I was having a beautiful time watching the cat pour the tea, and then she distracted me. I looked at her—yellow eyes shimmered with hope. False hope. Didn’t she just say they’d be cats forever—including her?

I walked up to her, confused. She bounced up and down, excitement pouring forth. A wide grin had spread across her face. “Yes, yes!” She grabbed both hands, clasping them like I had just announced something congratulatory. “Please, don’t do it. It’s not worth it!”                                           

“I understand that part. But what’s—who’s that cat?”

She shook her head. “I don’t know how to explain it. It’s just…I drank it because I needed to take a break from hours of walking and shopping. But I was ripped off! The tea’s more than just a price. So when you drink it, you’ll become a cat. And you’ll drink it forever, because you’ll want to stay here forever, never going home. You’ll sit and talk, and relax, and…just keep drinking that tea, forgetting everything that you’ve ever needed to do and had to do. You’ll always just be…a cat. Cats have nine lives. And once those are up, well…” the cat gulped, and guided me to a chair over in front of a couple of conjoined eateries. “Well, we recycle—this whole life, the 9 lives, this whole life, the 9—”          

“So…” I thought, sitting across from the cat. “So, you’re just a cat? That’s it?”

“A cat forever, forgetting life.” She whimpered. “You don’t want to drink it!”   

These people must’ve morphed! Then, “As a cat? I mean,” I coughed, “you morphed as a cat? There’s got to be an escape.”                                                                                                                

“No—we’re addicted to that tea. It’ll keep you a cat—even if you stop drinking it. You can’t escape. No one makes this tea like this.” Some cries and angry meows from over at the tea shop distracted us. Paws were thrown up in angry protest, cats slamming paws in the assistant’s direction, the assistant carrying two, sometimes three, trays of tea all at once, sometimes spilling the tea, getting yelled at by the shop owner—

My eyes flashed, and I jumped up, ready to pounce on that rude animal! How dare he snap at such an innocent cat—albeit having drunk the tea! Then I thought—my defense wouldn’t make sense. They all drank the tea. Enchanted by such a delicious treat. But they were wrong.                                                                                                                

“So the tea will make me an eternal cat, huh?” I looked back at the cat. She bobbed her head.  

I pursed my lips, annoyed with this cat, but I decided to stop stalling—maybe there was a way out of this weird tea trap. I wanted to ask so many questions. I just came here to have some fun. But this strange tea shop experience happened. I promised the cat I’d be back, and dashed away from the eateries’ chairs and around the roundabout to a shop named Cats N’ Things. Seeing the owner, I yelled at him to notice me. He didn’t, his grey furry tail lazily waving back and forth. I shook a rotating display of earrings and tattoos stickers. The cat scowled over at me, and I ran over to tell him whether he wanted to live a lazy life forever. Did he want to live 9 lives and then return here? Forever? I slammed my hands down on the counter and stared at him in the eye, fear actually flickering through those brownish-grey eyes. “Don’t you want to live a normal life where you have things to do? This lazy life isn’t all there is. You must not put your life in that shop owner’s paws!”                                                                        

He jerked back, and bobbed his head, eyes flickering. “Yeah—sure!” I wondered why he did not challenge the shop owner.

I was excited—I think I woke him up from his stupor! I dashed all around, demanding each cat’s attention. I had no idea how I’d save all these cats, putting them in homes where owners would love them. But I had to do something. “Please, everyone! Please. Listen to me.” I waved my purse. But the cats in the tea shop’s line growled and hissed, leering and jeering at me. After threatening to attack me should I mess up their precious tea, they just ignored me. But the tabby feline gestured for me to keep moving! I went back to her, telling her that the cat in the slightly lit Cats N’ Things suddenly wanted to do more than just drink tea. Fear thickened my swallowed saliva. My face paled, and I breathed a little heavily. Would one of the cats force-feed me tea? Would this feline betray me?      

“No, no. it’s all in the moment. But when everything settles down, you’ll see how they go back to themselves. You wake them up. But then they go back to their business. You can’t change them. You need to save us! Take us somewhere—a pet shop, a house, anywhere. Anywhere but here.” Her words were so circular—you awaken us, and we go back to regular lives. We drink the tea, and we turn into cats, and we shop forever. And we stay cats. And you become a cat. And the tea makes you a cat. And, and and and.

I ran into the bathroom. I tried convincing some cats to get adopted or go play in a park, but after all the excitement, their faces melted into seriousness and anger. After trying to distract some more cats at other shops, I widened my eyes, dashing back to the tea shop. Grabbing something, I thwacked at all teas, breaking every dish. Throwing myself over the counter, I hit every teacup and plate, breaking everything. Glass shattered, but I managed not to get cut. Shoving racks of teacups and plates over so they’d all come to the painted cement floor, I swung around.                       

“No more tea, buster. Save the tea for someone else who wants to live a luxurious life forever!”

As he threatened to force-feed me the magical tea, the assistant suddenly lunged for me, grabbing me and pulling at my hair. Clawing at my head, the cat hissed and spat, causing an uproar from the never-ending line outside the tea shop. I tried hitting the animal with the stick (I guess), but to no avail. Grabbing and shoving the cat away from me, I scrambled up, staring at a teacup. It was about to pour onto me, and, worse, go into my mouth. I backed away as if it were a lethal opponent. Then I smiled slyly, grabbed the teapot from somewhere and, opening it, thrust it at the lunging assistant. The tea covered him, and he was a slightly brownish-grey cat. I don’t think any of it landed in his mouth.  

At least I hoped not.

It seemed as if everything stood still. I looked, and the cat lay on the floor. When he got up, he started saying things that only humans say. He was looking all around him, like he was confused as to why there were all these cats hanging out, standing upright, ordering tea. Then he locked eyes with me. “You!” He threatened. “You damaged my life. You ruined my very existence. Now I’m all drenched. I don’t want to be soaked. I want to just drink the tea—which you destroyed!”

“What—what do you mean?” I shook, dropping the teapot. It shattered, the tea leaking everywhere. He screamed at me. I fled the place, bolting away from this evil tea shop. I couldn’t save them. They’d all have to suffer as cats forever. The tabby feline came to mind. What about her? She never wanted to be a cat. She desperately wanted to become human again. What about her? I didn’t dare return into that mall, but I wished she were with me.                

The cats, I heard, were thundering towards me. Skidding to a halt when having approached a highway with zooming cars whizzing by, I panicked. My eyes went back and forth as I waited impatiently for the cars to slow down and stop. Come on, cars! I’m not exactly able to stay here very much longer! Suddenly, I felt myself be lifted. I’m being carried back to the mall! The cats all pounded away from the highway, me frozen in terror. They tossed me like a ragdoll behind the tea shop counter, demanding I make them some tea so they could return to their comforting lives.        

Others demanded me leave them alone. Then all of them chanted for more tea. The shop owner, I saw, threw out for the assistant to whip up more tea. The assistant was going a million miles per hour, delivering more tea than I had ever seen. With more cats demanding more tea, I stood there, my shoulders sagging and kneeling to the floor. Heaving in huge breaths, I felt the waterfall of tears that would cascade down my cheeks. I took deep breaths. I need to save everyone. What if I…?

I thought about the things that would make someone resistant towards tea. But they’d just try to kill me. Then I thought about the magic of it all. But when asked, they all just stared and then laughed at me. I shook my head, still continuing to persevere. What…what if I…? Then I gave up.

Maybe the tea is good. Everyone wants to relax and enjoy the day, right?     

I looked around, spotting the tabby feline. She had a cup of tea in her paw, talking with another cat. But she looked a little different from the rest of the cats. Her eyes still danced with that desire for me to do something about it all. I chanced talking to her.     

“Hey—it’s you!” She grabbed me into a big hug with her free arm, but I wiggled away. “What’s your name?”

“Caterina, but—”

“Tabby. Please.” She flicked up a paw. “Please—it’s ‘Tabby’!” She turned towards the other cat, and they both laughed. I stared at her. She was the one who wanted out! She was even begging me, I reminded her. She shook her head, scratching it even. She asked me whether I was okay. Whether I’d like some tea. I backed away. And then grabbed something edible out of my purse. Shoving it in her mouth, I managed to get her to bite into it. She stood there, chewing and then swallowing it. Then she opened her eyes, and gasped. Looking at me, she said she did remember me and that I was the one who needed to stop the tea-possessing business. She grabbed me in a hug, and, once she began backing away from all the other tea lovers, we ran for our lives. We skidded to a halt as we asked whether we should jump in front of the zooming cars.   

“Or should we just become cats forever?” She asked me, and we clutched each other’s hand and paw. The cats were stampeding closer—we felt the vibrations of the earth a little.

“I don’t know.”       

Then she jumped, but I grabbed her, yanking her back. “We need to keep going.”

“We’ll run forever!” She suddenly looked desperate, grabbing my hands and pulling me in front of her. “What do we do?”

“What’ll we do?” She whispered fiercely. “I want to have a life. Anything to keep from running.”

I thought about that tea. Would it be better? I told the feline we should go back. She reached over and started shaking me, telling me to wake up.

 “Wake!”

I jerked up, rubbing my eyes. Then, when the blurriness left me, I stared, shocked, into a cat’s face.

“Caterina! Caterina!”

I looked around me. The massage therapist told me I was asleep. I smelled green herbal tea, and instantly said no thank you. But the girl with very long blonde hair drank it. She slurped it up, and whiskers started sprouting from her face. “Become a cat, Cate. We’ll have so much fun during our 9 lives!”

I looked at that tea. I bit my lip and thought. Then I went for it. Grabbing her paw, we relaxed, drinking tea. I wasn’t a college student anymore. I was a tabby feline—and served our Tea 4 U to my customers. My boss, with his velvet bowtie, told me I needed to be better as his assistant. I bobbed my head. In the next life, I promised myself as the tabby poured more and more tea, I’ll be the boss of my own tea shop! I smiled, and looked over at Catherine. She smiled, and rose a cup of tea to me. I nodded back, and continued my job until my boss and I locked up and we felines escaped to a nightclub, partying until late morning.     

I soon started getting sick of the tea. I wanted to leave. I wanted out. The tea had to go. The tea would be flushed down the toilet. I tried that. Didn’t work. I tried throwing it all up. Didn’t work, either. I tried poisoning it. Nope. I grew desperate, hoping I’d make it out somehow. Then I squeezed my eyes shut, thinking. What if I just don’t want it? I don’t give in. I stood there, not wanting it. I didn’t give in. I resisted. I opened my eyes, and looked down. I had paws still. But that tea—I wanted it. Its shiny look, delectable taste and tempting smell made me a victim to its wicked sweetness.

So I surrendered myself to it. I chose this new life as a cat. I spent it with Tabby. Forever.   

And this new cat life never felt better. The more days went by, the more Tabby and I hung out together, visiting other malls and shopping centers. Growing sick of such a life?

Never!