Age Is Just a Number

It’s not easy going to a party being the socially awkward wallflower who has two left feet that flop like fish out of water when a girl asks to dance. It makes it even less appealing when you are a recently divorced man in his seventies. After a year of constant fighting over who gets what from the house and finances Jerrold was left with his 2010 Ford Focus and enough money to set himself up in a decent retirement community. Twenty hours of driving after cutting all ties to his former life Jerrold sat in his new furnished apartment and stared out of the window. The complex through a welcome mixer for all the new residents but the thought of having to look at new smiling faces made his heart skip in his chest. His neighbor, a nice man from Pennsylvania, visited. Jerrold and Dave had many things in common, but Jerrold was unsure what to say unless it was a yes or no question. No matter the conversation he did enjoy Dave’s company. He hadn’t had a friend or anyone to talk to other than his ex-wife for so long.

           Halloween was coming and the residents were excitedly getting ready for a party that would have a costume contest. Dave was polling the guys at their weekly poker night to see what costume he should choose. “Jerry my man, you’re not going to be so lucky tonight. I feel the cards are in my favor.” Emerald gems danced with excitement under black bushy eyebrows. Jerrold adjusted his round glasses against his nose.

“It’s no good Dave. You know Mark Kinson spent almost two hundred dollars on his costume.” Larry Henson who lived a block down focused his eyes on his cards, deepening the wrinkles in his forehead.

Luke Fineman sucked his teeth, “Mark Kinson is divorced and has nothing to do with his eight grandkids. Of course, he’s going to break the bank on a retirement home costume party.”

“Fineman, you get huffy at every idea of people spending money on anything other than bread and water.” Beer foam flew from his thick mustache as he chuckled. Larry playfully shoved Luke and they all chuckled. Jerrold smiled and attempted a chortle. Unfortunately, the moment had ended, and it came out as a cough.

Halloween came and the three men knocked on Jerrold’s door. “Jerry let us shove off. I have contest to win.” Jerrold, dressed in his slacks, button up shirt, and sweater vest answered the door. Dave had painted his face and all his hair to resemble the great painter, Vincent Van Goh. Jerrold was amazed at the talent of being able to make it look as if a painting had walked from its frame and assumed a life of it’s own. Loafs of bread hung on string around Luke’s neck with a sign that read “gingerbread man.” Larry managed to locate a costume from one of his kids that required an air pump. It looked as if an oversized green alien was holding on tight to him.

Dave’s smile grew wider as he pushed past into Jerrold’s apartment. “I feel we have a dilemma gents.” Fineman and Larry nodded in unison and left towards Dave’s apartment. “What’s on your mind Jerry?”

Jerrold stood by the door folding and unfolding his hands in front of him. He had not intention of going to the party and did not expect the guys to show up on his doorstep. The plan was that they all would meet at the party, but Jerrold couldn’t imagine going. “I’m sorry Dave, parties have been a struggle for me. I can’t even remember the last one I went to.” He stared at the floor, his hands fidgeting, “I know that I was such an embarrassment that my ex-wife vowed she would never bring me to another one.”

Dave smiled gently, “We only have so much time in this life. We can’t change the past or predict the future, but we can enjoy the present. My late wife used to say that. She would drag me to every event regardless how annoyed or anxious I was. When she died ten years ago I made sure I would keep her spirit alive.” The mist in Dave’s eyes deepened the green color of his eyes. In an instant his face animated and grinned against the tightness of the paint. “You, my man, remind me of myself many years ago. You just needed to find your people.”

“We came up with the perfect idea Jerry! You’ll love this.” Fineman bounced into the apartment holding different articles of clothes and a black marker. As if all four of their minds had become one, Jerrold knew that he was meant for that costume.

An hour of drawing tiny thorns and painting his face green Jerrold pulled at the sides of his khaki pants. “Deep breath gents, one of us is going to win that contest. I feel it in my paint brush.” Dave laughed heartily while Larry snorted.

The main building of the community was where every event was held. Creative Halloween themed foods lined the back wall. There were hot dogs in the shape of mummies, strawberries dipped in white chocolate with dark chocolate eyes and mouth, and of course deviled eggs. Little gummy eyeballs floated in the punch bowl. Jerrold quietly grabbed a cookie designed as a headstone and pressed his back against the far wall watching everyone discussing their costumes. Anytime someone looked his way he did as Dave suggested and posed as any cactus would. Jerrold held his breath begging them not to approach as a few people laughed and continued through the crowd. The lights in the room were dimmed just enough so everyone could see and two colored disco balls spun on a small self-assembled stage near the front. Red, blue, and yellow colors ran across peoples faces.

Dave, Fineman, and Larry made a trip around to see who all came. Half an hour had gone by when they walked up to another group of men just in front of Jerrold who held his breath. Mark Kinson was the spitting image of Bob Ross while his three friends were paintings of different sceneries that he had painted.

“You have got to be joking. How dare you copy my costume idea!” Mark Kinson, a foot shorter than Dave, growled at the trio.

Without missing a beat Dave smiled his charming smile, “Ah Mark! How are you sir? I do believe Bob Ross would be thrilled to meet an exemplary painter such as Van Goh. Although, I don’t think I’ve ever known Bob Ross to be anything but ecstatic to meet everyone.”

Larry’s toothy smile released crumbs of about a dozen cookies he had stuffed into his cheeks.

Mark glanced over to see Jerrold with his arms out to his sides with his legs still as a cactus in a pot. “Who the hell is this joker?” Mark shoved the man to his left encouraging him to laugh along. “It’s a party guy. You either interact or you go home. You’re too old to be a damn wallflower.”

Dave’s smile disappeared as he pressed his lips into a thin line. “Hey, Jerry, you guys may wanna switch costumes. Seems we have an actual prick for the cactus.”

“Oh, whatever it doesn’t matter. I wish you would stop being jealous David. It’s not very fitting of your stature.”

“I can’t help it some days. You just have so much going for you with your family you spend so much time with or the money you inherited so easily or maybe even the pull you get with those STD’s. I can keep going. You know I’m just so jealous of your whole life.”

Mark’s ears turned to a red as bright as a tomato and Jerrold could almost see steam billowing from them. Taking a deep breath and swallowing the lump in his throat Jerrold stepped in between the two groups. “Now now gentlemen it is a party. I say we grab a cookie before Larry devours them all.”

A hearty laugh rang out as Dave clapped his hands, “Good point Jerry my man. Mark, all jokes aside this is Halloween. Let the monsters be for tonight and let’s enjoy the festivities.”

The lump in Jerrold’s stomach began to wash away as they went from game to game. Jerrold’s belly bounced as he laughed at Fineman who thrashed in the water bucket unable to find the juicy red apples. The trio cheered when Jerrold was able to knock down all of the cans stacked on the table using just a tennis ball. Dave winked at a woman dressed as in a black fringed dress with long white gloves and a black feather attached to a shiny headband dancing along to the song Twist and Shout by the Beatles. She pulled him out to the dance floor while her friend grabbed Jerrold by the arm. “Want to dance?” Her luminous blue eyes enchanted his legs to follow while her smile charmed his arms to move along with the music. The woman was dressed in a green shirt with pink petals surrounding her face. Her laugh was like a song as Jerrold danced the only way he knew how and waved his elbows up and down while he shuffled his feet.

The song ended and Jerrold’s happiness was overcome with anxiety once more as the new song playing brought with it the memories of floppy feet stepping on small heels and frustrated whispers let him know he would never dance with her again. Jerrold backed away from the flowery woman but before he could leave entirely she grasped his hand and pulled him close. Trembling he took her hand in his and wrapped the other on her waist. He starred down at his feet, taking every precaution to not flatten her poor feet. The woman raised his chin and with an encouraging smile stepped along with the rhythm of If by Bread. Her feet moved on instinct avoiding his shoes that flopped and shuffled. “My ex-husband could never dance. Instead of making him learn I just learned how to dance with him.” Her voice as smooth as the velvet of a rose petal and the sharpness of the thorn that protects it.

At eleven o’clock the music stopped and the lights came brighter as a younger woman climbed onto the makeshift stage. “I would like to thank all of you for coming to this event and all of the costumes were wonderful and creative. I have the tallies for the top three costumes and I would like you to come to the stage when I call you. In third place we have the extraordinary painter, Bob Ross.” Her enthusiasm was followed by claps and the disgruntled Mark slumping on the stage, defeated. “In second place for committing so well to his character we have the cactus.” Dave whooped and whistled as Jerrold made his way to the stage in disbelief. “And the winner is Medusa!” A spritely woman in a glittering gold dress with a wonderous hair of snakes took her place next to Jerrold. “Thank you all and we hope you had a happy Halloween. Please come grab any of the goodies we have before you leave.” The young woman assisted the three finalists off the stage and music resumed softly in the background.

Jerrold approached the group cautiously. He knew how badly Dave wanted to win.

“There he is boys. Second place and you outvoted Mark.” Dave’s voice boomed in the hall as he embraced Jerrold.

“I told you it was the perfect costume.” Fineman grinned proudly as Larry stuffed his arms full of sweets.

“Well, I must start planning my costume for next year. Until then I can continue to take your money on poker night.” Dave winked.

“We’ll see about that.” Jerrold chuckled as they left.

That night Jerrold lay in bed excitedly awaiting the next party that he would be attending with his friends.