Worst Camping Trip Ever

It had been too long since the last vacation. Between work, school and PTA meetings, the Mercers had been involved in the same routine for weeks. Now it was the first week of June and Dale Mercer had insisted they needed some time unplugged.

That meant getting his wife Ellen, three children and their dog into the family's SUV. Ellen was easy enough to persuade, she had grown up in a rual area where camping was about the only thing to do. The family's golden retriever, Loops, always had too much energy for the suburbs so going out into the Pine Barrens would be a great time for the dog. Dale's three children, Toby, Marcy and Eliot were near impossible.

Toby, their youngest, was four years old and hated sitting in a car seat. "I'm not a baby!" He would shout anytime either parent tried to buckle him into the booster seat. Eliot was ten and gifted, he wanted to go to STEM camp, not hang out with his family in some forest in New Jersey. Marcy was thirteen, discovering who she really was. This involved a lot of angst, black clothes and an unnerving obsession with dead things and the paranormal. Even in a large vehicle, that was a lot to take.

Dale had planned this trip to the Pine Barrens as a way to try to reconnect his family. He had found a cabin for rent online, it had running water, gas, a fridge and three bedrooms. There was no cellphone reception and no wi-fi. Dale figured this would force his children off their devices and make them actually interact with eachother. Maybe then he wouldn't feel like he lived in a house full of strangers.

"Dad," Marcy said. "Two things, one, how lame is this place and two, when are we going to get there?!" Trying to ignore his daughter's attitude Dale responded. "It's about an hour and a half from home;" he said. "Ong's Campgrounds isn't lame, it's named for a local ghost town where some say a cult found a gateway to an alternate dimension." Marcy snorted, "so basically some weirdos and old buildings;" she said. "Sounds boring!" Her dad tried to put a spin on it. "You know, I heard that the Pine Barrens are home to the Jersey Devil!" he said. "You like creepy things, right Marcy?"

His statement was met with an eye roll from Marcy. Eliot piped up "Oh please!" He said. "It's improbable that a baby spontaneously mutated into a hideous chimera of deer, bat, kangaroo and horse. It's also impossible for something from the 1700s to be alive today!" Toby, who was feeling ignored, chimed in. "Daddy!" He cried. "This strap is hurting me and I need a potty!"

Beginning to feel stressed, Dale gritted his teeth. "Toby;" he said. "We only left home twenty minutes ago! Can you hold it for a bit longer?" Toby squirmed to emphasize his discomfort. "If I try really really hard;" he said. "But I think if I fart, it might come out as poo!" Ellen tried to ease tensions. "There's a rest stop here in half a mile;" she said. "Dear, pull over there. I'll take Toby to the restroom and you can take Loops for a walk. I'm sure the dog needs a break too."

Once the Mercers had taken care of their needs, they were on the road again. The family arrived at the Ong's Campgrounds and walked up to the main office to check in. It was eerily silent inside the single wide trailer. Ellen stepped out of the huddled group to ring the bell which sat on the laminate covered front desk.

A skinny man with white hair and a scruffy beard came out from a door behind the counter. "May I help you?" He asked. "Yes;" Ellen said. "My family and I have a reservation for two weeks in a cabin here." The man pulled out a big binder with a guest register. "What's the name?" He asked. "Mercer;" answered Ellen. The attendant thumbed through a couple of pages. Double checking, he pulled a pair of keys from the rack, handed them to Ellen and flipped the binder so it faced her.

"I'll need to have you sign here and here;" the man said. "Showing you understand that the camp is not responsible for any lost or stolen property. Also if there is any damage to your lodgings durring your stay, we will bill your credit card on file." He pulled out some maps and pamphlets. "These show the hiking trails and points of interest;" he said. "Oh my name's Pete. Don't hesitate to ask if you need something. The office has the only phone that works. Enjoy your stay."

Ellen smiled and took the items she had been offered and returned to the car. The family drove for another mile before reaching the cabin. It was bigger than any of them expected. Two stories high with two brown wooden stairs leading up to a screen door. The four windows facing the dirt road mirrored the gray sky and pines. It made the appetures look like the eyes of some alien creature made of logs.

"This is going to be fun!" Dale said rubbing his hands together. The parents picked up the majority of the luggage. Marcy grabbed the dog's leash and the two boys carried in their backpacks.

"Well, I wasn't expecting that!" Marcy said. "Is that a deer skull over the fire place? Totes legit!" Toby ran to his mother and hugged her leg. "Mommy I don't like it;" he wimpered. "It's staring at me! It's scary!" Ellen kneeled and hugged her son. "It's okay, cutie;" she said. "That thing can't hurt you. Do you want to go pick out your room?" Toby nodded, Ellen stood and took his hand, helping him climb the stairs.

"I've been looking at the trail maps;" Eliot announced. "There's a nature trail! Sounds like a good opportunity to observe new fauna and flora! Anyone want to join me?" Marcy, who had involved herself in looking for a good book on some dark subject, groaned. "You are such a nerd!" She complained. "You can take your map and--"

"Actually that sounds perfect, Eliot!" Dale interrupted. "We can all go! We'll all go. Right?!" Marcy nodded but turned and rolled her eyes. She'd just have to make the most of it.

Later, after a dinner of spaghetti and meatballs, the family played a game of Uno that Ellen had brought along. Then everyone went their seperate ways for the night.

Marcy had found a copy of Weird NJ which she hauled up to her room. She had just finished an article about the supposedly haunted Ugly Mug Bar when she heard a scream. It was unearthly, shrill and blood chilling. She covered her ears but then someone began pounding on her door. On the other side, stood both Eliot and Toby.

Toby's cheeks were wet from crying, his breathing was shallow and he seemed stuck in one spot, even though Eliot kept trying to push him into Marcy's room. "He thinks there's a monster outside;" Eliot said. "I keep telling him it was just an Eastern Screech Owl, but he won't listen." Marcy looked at the two of them, Toby was shaken but she could also tell Eliot was a little frightened. "Come in;" she told them. "I guess we'll feel safer together."

The three siblings gathered on the shag rug in the middle of the floor. "Was that you screaming, Toby?" Marcy asked. He took a couple of gulping breaths before answering. "Uh-uh;" Toby said. "That was the monster! I just hid under my blankets and cried." Eliot wasn't a screamer so it must've come from outside. "Well;" she said. "Just for tonight you can sleep in here. Okay?" Toby didn't bother climbing into the bed, he just pulled the blankets off and curled up underneath them.

The other two children waited till Toby was really asleep to continue talking. "I wish dad hadn't mentioned the Jersey Devil;" Eliot said. "Now Toby's going to be skiddish the rest of the time we're here." Marcy knew this was going to be true. "Yeah;" she said. "Thats going to be so much fun! I hope the rest of our stay goes faster."

The next morning, the family ate a quick breakfast of granola and yogurt then left for the nature trail. It was an easy hike. At least it would've been if Eliot hadn't stopped to point out every piece of, lichen, rabbit poop or hoof print. "Ooh!" Eliot exclaimed. "Look! There's a white tail deer over by that tree! It's a buck!" Marcy gazed in the general direction indicated. Sure enough, there was a deer with tiny, velvet covered antlers. The animal startled, as if it had heard something. Marcy watched as it ran away, suddenly, the buck dissapeared. It hadn't gone behind the trees, it just simply wasn't there.

"Tell me I wasn't the only on who saw that;" Marcy said. Her father put a hand on her shoulder. "Don't worry;" he said. "I'm sure it just went deeper in the woods. Come on, we're almost around the loop."

When they got back to the cabin, Ellen realized she hadn't fed Loops yet. She filled his bowl with kibble, set it on the porch and called him. "Loops!" She shouted. "Here Loopy! Chow time!" Ellen waited for their dog. But he never showed up.

Ellen had Eliot and Marcy help look for their dog. Eliot had just rounded to the back side of the cabin when he saw it. "Oh God!" He said. "Guys, I think I found him!" Eliot's mom and sister ran to his location. Marcy gagged and Ellen muffled her own scream. Loops mangled body lay on the forest floor, his golden fur soaked in blood. "Don't let Toby see!" Ellen said. "Eliot, go help your dad pack the SUV. We can't stay here anymore!"

It was a Mercer family record, everything was packed and they left Ong's Campgrounds in half an hour. Toby cried when he realized Loops was gone. Dale told his youngest Loops had gone to live with his hamster, Bun-Bun. They never went camping in the Pine Barrens again.