I'm Judith Cole

Pheee………the kettle whistled strongly yet noiselessly. Mrs. Cole poured the tea into the thermos, packing it in a ready- to- go hand baggage. She walked out towards the main door. Giving her daughter a quick call, she settled the luggage in the car trunk. And locked the house. Mr. Cole tucked in the seat belt and asked his daughter to do the same. Ever ready, The Coles drove out crossing the long straightway covered with snow on both sides towards the highway. And they kept on travelling for around three hours.

It's 7:14 a.m. The climate's cold, we're on our way to Memphis Institute of Mental Health Recovery. It's warm inside the car but I can feel the cold outside, touching the window glass……...it gave me goosebumps and I immediately withdrew my hand. My mom in the front seat driving the car, is instructing me to be very disciplined there, to study well, to follow all the rules and to be friendly and frank with everyone there. I can see her talking and can also hear her, but my attention isn't on her words. I'm lost in my own thoughts, seeing the world outside that small window imagining everything as my own world of wonder, and meanwhile I saw an old lady out of the window standing on the footpath, dressed in a dark dull dress, crooked a little, standing with a cane’s support, swirling in design. I watched her as we stopped by the red light. I saw her smiling at me making some unusual and unfamiliar gestures as if she's telling me something. I don't know her but it seemed as if she knew me very well, knowing everything about me. All this actually didn't matter to me at all until I met her again, face to face. 

 I'm Judith Cole, someone different from the rest of the people my age because my state of mind isn’t stable. At Least this is what they say. But I believe that there's something strange and mysterious about those hundreds of trances that I’ve been through since I turned 11. My conscience says this but my parents don’t. So, I got to know something if they don’t believe it. I’ll not believe it either. My thoughts have changed seeing and experiencing all the guilt my parents took on themselves, just to protect me from the court cases, rude allegations against me. I've been exposed to the best of the country's psychiatrists and the world's top medicines. They think I'm mentally not fine………. but that's not exactly what it is. I'm fine, perfectly okay, just different from the rest or of a world somewhere but not this one. Whatever it is, I just had a sixth-sense thought and was not acknowledged about the reality of my imaginations. 

But only because my family was worried about my future, they decided to admit me into an institute for mental health recovery so that I may learn some life values and change my way of living, concentrate on making a future, studies and my entire life, diverting my mind from my imaginations and illusions.  

And the biggest thing is that I've agreed to them, just trying to focus on the things of a normal person, being a normal human and that's what I've promised my mom & dad about. 

 It's 7:40, and we have reached our destination, unloading my baggage and my dad walked to the Head-Mistress' office, followed by me and mom………. we went inside. We greeted her. My mom gave a gesture on one of the documents as if she wanted to tell her something which she doesn't want me to hear. The Mistress looked at the documents rigorously, she handed me a bar of dark chocolate and asked me sweetly if I could wait outside while she talked with my parents in a little privacy. I took the bar, thanked, nodded in yes and walked straight out of the cabin. 

Out there, I sat on a bench in the distance. She thinks she can send an 18-year-old young blood out of the room handing a bar of chocolate. Sorry ma’am but this won’t work.  

I can still hear their conversation behind the soft sounds of snowfall. I turned to the sliding glasses at the end of the over - longed corridor. It’s beautiful. Everything is covered with snow, white and quite blurry. I looked down at my feet, messy socks and dirty shoes. Looking at them, I could hear my mom sobbing. Not being able to take it any longer, I got up and breathed deep. I walked towards the glass and took a sigh of relief. I could feel the warm drop of tears rolling down my cold cheeks. I slid the glass and stepped out on the snowy floor. My dirty shoes could be seen clearly upon that white layer. I felt awkward. But it’s okay, nobody’s around to judge me this time. I’m all alone here. What I only have right now is snow and snowfall. I don’t know how it got me a smile, but I never felt so good like this before. It couldn’t be any better.  

I took my hands out of my overcoat and picked up a little snow. If only I could have someone to throw snowballs at. Laughing, I dropped down. It’s cold out here. I walked on. This walk will never end, it’s so vast. I stopped and looked back at my footsteps. I’ll never get lost, neither didn’t I ever.  

And suddenly I heard a rough yet a sweet elderly voice. I started looking around but didn’t really see anyone. Am I imagining again? Or falling in a trance? No, I don’t want to. I don’t want those things in my life related to whatever memories, past or future. I wish I could’ve never focused on them, never told them to my friends or my family. They wouldn't have reacted that way. I couldn’t have gotten hurt. I didn’t have to keep everything to myself from then on. I sighed quietly looking up to the sky. It was covered with dense clouds, snow falling. I closed my eyes and smiled as I felt cold snowflakes over my face.  

 “Hey Judith”  

 I opened my eyes and looked around restlessly. This, I didn’t imagine. I really heard somebody calling my name. 

 “How are you doing, Sweetie?” - an old woman appeared out of nowhere asked, walking towards me. 

She had a smile on her face. Short in height, holding a long stick. And wait I recognized her to be the same old lady waving at me at the signal on our way. 

 “Wait, may I know who you are? And how do you know my name? Well, I saw you at the signal. Wasn’t that you?”  

“Calm down, sweetheart. It’s okay to get surprised but I know you very well and I’m here on a purpose.” 

 “A purpose, what is that?” 

 “Something that nobody could do for you? Understand you and believe your words. I’m Phyllis, and I’m 984 years old. I came from the past, travelling 900 hundred years. So, I am originally 84 years old but 984 years old in total.” 

 “What in the world! Do you really think I’m gonna believe such a dumb joke.” 

“You shouldn’t, because it’s not a joke, Judith. There are a lot of things that I’m gonna reveal to you about you. If you trust my identity now, you can trust yours too.” 

 I was totally amazed. I couldn’t understand at least three quarters of what she said. But the only thing I understood not by her words but by her smile was that I can trust her. She might be joking about herself, her origin but I felt a ray of belief for her somewhere inside me. 

 It’s 6:45 a.m. Six years passed, and it didn’t really seem like it. It’s snowing again.the kettle’s whistling again. The only things that remind me of that day back when I was 18. Life helped in a lot of ways and Phyllis of course. She was right when she said that she had a lot to reveal about me to me. 

I’m glad. I’m happy. I’m Judith Cole, someone different but I’m stable, I discovered it that same moment when I met Phyllis. And you can too, if you want, just listen to me……..as I listened to Phyllis.

I’m ready to share my story, if you’re willing to know………..