Those blue eyes

Author's note: This is the first short story I've ever written. English isn't my first language, so there might be some grammar errors.

“We gotta be quick, the train leaves in 2 minutes.” Cameron says as we run down the subway stop stairs. I bump into someone and apologize and as we turn the corner we see the C train arrive. 

“Good timing” I say, and we sit down. The train is pretty empty. Right across from me sits a man reading a newspaper with the face of this news anchor who got accused of assaulting multiple women and is now facing trial tomorrow on the front page. 

Two seats next to him is an older woman looking at us like some librarian who’s about to scold us for talking too loud. I bet she’s one of those homophobic bigots who can’t stand when two boys sit a little too closely next to each other, which kind of makes me want to sit closer to Cameron. The doors close and the train starts moving. 

I haven’t been this excited for anything in a long time. Partly because this is my first date, like, ever, but mostly because I get to be spending my time with Cameron. We’ve been friends for a while now, but this is the first time we’re actually spending time together without our friends. We started hanging out when one of my friends, Lana, started dating one of Cameron's friends, Joshua. Sure, I had noticed him in the hallways at school, but I sort of started crushing on him after we had to do this biology project in pairs, and he asked me to be partners.

“I’ve never been to a karaoke bar before,” I confess. I’m actually really nervous he’s about to hear me sing for the first time. I don’t sing that often, not even in the shower, and I’m worried I’m gonna sound like a pig giving birth. 

You’ve never been to a karaoke bar before?” he asks. “Jonah freaking Carney, if you haven’t been to a karaoke bar, you’ve never lived. It’s, like, the perfect combination of feeling like you’re free and could conquer the world and making fun of other people for not being able to sing. And there’s snacks too! How have you never done this? I swear, your parents failed you in your upbringing,” he jokes. I laugh and look away, but I can feel him glare at me. After a moment of silence I ask him which song he wants to sing when we get there. “I was thinking of something like “I’m still standing” by Elton John or “Puttin’ on the Ritz” by Robbie Williams,” he tells me. “What about you?”

“I don’t know yet. Maybe something by Dodie or Sara Barreilles.”

Suddenly the lights flicker and the train stops moving. The fans shut down and we’re in total darkness. The old woman gasps and I hear the man across from us murmur something about another train delay. I’m shaking and my heart is racing. We’re in an underground train with barely any light and nowhere to go. I scooch a little closer to Cameron and I feel his leg touching mine. I grab his hand and don’t ever want to let it go.

“Chill, this kind of thing happens all the time.”

“No, it doesn’t”

“You’re right, it doesn’t. But we’re gonna be okay.” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone. He turns on the flashlight and I realize how close we are. I try to look at him but I can only make out a vague outline of his face. I’m still shaking and Cameron hugs me to try to calm me down. He doesn’t let go for what seems like an eternity. His arms wrapped around me feel so soothing and for a minute I forget all about the blackout. I want to stay like this forever, but eventually he pulls away. He readjusts his pants and we talk for a few minutes. 

He tells me about how his grandma used to bake the best cookies, but now he doesn’t see her much anymore, ever since he moved across the country. I tell him about how I still sleep with a stuffed animal because I like to hold things when I sleep. Then we both tell each other how we’re huge hug-lovers. I ask him if there are any places he’d like to travel to and he tells me he has always loved Rome and that “Gladiator” is his favourite movie. I tell him about this documentary I watched a while ago about how NASA discovered that planets have their own sounds.

When the train starts moving again and the lights come back on I realize how much I missed his face. Usually his eyes are this mix of blue and gray, but right now they are so blue. Like a lake in the middle of a forest, or a cloudless sky on a hot summer’s day. I want to lose myself completely in those eyes. I feel so safe and comfortable with him, yet I’m so afraid of heartbreak.

He licks his lips and it’s like one of those moments in movies where the boy finally kisses the girl. I can’t decide whether he wants me to do that or not. I’ve never seen a movie where the boy kisses the boy and I’m not sure if that’s a thing that happens to people like us.

“What?” he asks. His question shakes me back to reality. 

“Uhh, what?”

“You were looking at me.” Oh, my god, how long had I been staring at him? He must think I’m downright crazy and he’ll probably never want to see me again.

“No, I wasn’t.” 

“You totally were,” he laughs. “I liked it.” he says, hesitantly. He looks at me, smiling, and I smile back. I’ve never been as comfortable with anyone as I am with him. When I look in his eyes all my worries seem to fade. His laugh is the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard. And when I’m without him I can’t help but think about him.

His hand finds mine and suddenly I’m sure this is the boy I want to be with. I want this boy to be my boyfriend and I think he might feel the same.