Like Sisters

Sienna never liked being the new kid. Every time she moved to a new city, she had to re-learn everything. It was like she was a toddler trying to walk for the first time. Legs acting shaky and drunk, refusing to hold her upright. A slight color painted her cheeks as she thumbed through her textbook--she felt her stomach begin to drop. It was her turn to read out loud in class. The sound of the pages gently pattered through her fingers and filled the silence in the room. Right as she was about to mumble an apology, the girl next to her came to her rescue.  

“Page 75. First paragraph.”

“Oh, um. Thanks.” Sienna shyly replied. 

Sienna looked up at the girl who was kind enough to help her. The first thing she noticed was her delicate style. She had golden hair that was perfectly cut just above her shoulders and fell gently against her face. Her eyes sang of hazel, not much different than those of Sienna. The girl surrendered a half smile before going back to her own book. Sienna’s eye caught the name of her savior scribbled on the girl’s school planner.  

Emma Hill. 

The bell rang and cued the mass exodus of teenagers from the room. Sienna didn’t take her eyes off of Emma. She watched her gracefully stand up. She straightened her frayed short shorts and methodically swung her tan leather bag over her shoulder. With the flip of her hair she walked out of the room and onto her next class. 

Once everyone left, Sienna quietly stood up. Her shoulders caved and back slightly slouched. She was 5’ 6” but her confidence made her 5’ 4". She stuffed her books into the backpack her brother gave her. Its gray color hinted that it still held its hand-me-down smell.  

On the first day as the new kid, her mind usually raced to the next event of the day--where to go, how to find it, how to act. Yet this time, she caught herself searching back through her memories. She was stuck thinking about the girl from her class. Emma Hill.  This couldn’t be her, could it? 

The memory came clear into focus. Sienna was back at her birth mom’s house sitting on the couch. She could feel its weathered surface poking at her legs and making her itch. Cassandra tried her best to keep in touch with the baby girl she gave up. She viewed it as a sort of penance for choosing to leave the title of “mother” off her future gravestone. Sienna kept her legs tucked under her as she watched Cassandra take a puff from her cigarette. The smoke shot out her nose and drifted to the ceiling, searching for a clear path out. She watched it dance at the top of the room and disappear, but averted her gaze when Cassandra caught her staring. 

“Oh I’m sorry. I know I probably shouldn’t even be doing this in front of you.” A nervous cackle escaped her lips. Its harsh bellow marked her a religious smoker.  

“You know...I actually did stop one time!” She puffed her chest out, almost eager and proud to share a rare moment she could tout as an accomplishment.  

“Yea, I made it 30 days! See I had to. For health reasons. It was when I was pregnant the first time…”  

Sienna was only eight at the time but could tell by Cassandra’s face she didn’t want her knowing that her biological family didn’t begin and end with her. There were more.

It took Sienna two years to gather the truth.

When she was younger, she loved to “spy” at the top of the stairs while her parents mingled in the kitchen. She’d track the dishes they did, she’d sketch the meals they made. When she spied, she would pretend she was in WWII gathering information to take down the Nazis. She’d grip her purple walkie talkie in one hand--her brother would sit at the other end. He was ready to receive the intel he needed to end the war. She never meant to gather anything actually worthwhile.

“Barb, let’s just tell her. It’s important for her to have her sister in her life. She’ll eventually want to meet her.”  

“No, I don’t want to complicate everything for her. The family that took her...they just…” Sienna’s mother sighed, but continued.

“Yea, they’re rich and give Emma everything she wants but that's just the problem. Don’t you see? Emma got the better life. We don’t have the ability to give Sienna everything like they do. Emma Hill will always have a better childhood than Sienna Tucker. We need to leave them be.”

Sienna’s mom had a strong build and wavy brown hair with streaks of gray that hinted at her age. She was gifted with a tremendous amount of patience, kindness, and generosity. Sienna couldn’t understand why she would want to stop her from finding the only shot she had at a real sister. But this was the lottery life decided she would win and that thought stuck deep in the back of her mind.

Sienna felt herself falling back into reality and out of her memories. Locker doors slammed and a chatter filled the air. She returned to the hallways of her new high school in St. Louis.  

Sienna panicked as she realized she was going to be late for her next class. She followed the signs, took a left at the hallway and pushed open the door to the girl’s locker room. The smell of deodorant hit her nose, welcoming her to her second period of the day. She scrambled as she threw on a mismatched pair of socks. One with a blue stripe up the side and the other with dazzling green stars down the middle. She swapped her wrinkled blue blouse for her gym tshirt. She hated how it draped over her and seemed to promise to do anything but fit her. She knew all the other girls would scamper out to gym class with a nicely fitted petite top and cute shorts.  

Sienna let out a sigh and accepted she’d have to be the oddball girl at this new school as well.

“I like your socks.”

Sienna yanked herself out of her pity fest and turned to see who was talking. It couldn’t have been her. But it was. Emma sat on the bench in the corner of the locker room. She had her hair tied back and was tying her shoelace. Her fitted tshirt screamed a perfect shade of white.  

“I always want to wear crazy socks but my mom just gets the boring jumbo pack ones.”

Sienna searched for her words but just kept staring. 

“I’m Emma by the way. I think we’re in the same biology class. You must be smart if you’re in the same one as I am. Are you a freshman here?”

“Uh yea yea. I am. I’m new here so...yea” Sienna scolded herself for sounding indifferent to Emma.

“Well none of my friends are in this class. So do you want to be partners if we have to team up for anything?” 

Sienna was dreaming. There was no other way this was happening. She felt as if Emma could hear her thoughts. She knew Emma could see the colors flashing across her eyes and feel the adrenaline surging through her veins. She felt the deep need to make the only person who could actually share the same mother, the same blood, and the same bond, aware of their destined connection.

Sienna opened her mouth to speak but it felt dry--caked in uncertainty and wrought with doubt.  

“I um...”

Sienna felt her hands clam up.  

“I suck at basketball. So you may not want me on your team.” She smiled shyly and began to turn away.  

Emma let out a laugh, grabbed her by the hand and pulled her out to begin their first class of gym.  

For the next three months, Sienna was the happiest she’d ever been. It scared her how quickly and easily her and Emma fell into each other's lives, but Sienna did her best to hide her awe. She didn’t want Emma to know she painted her nails the exact same bubblegum pink color, or that she tried curly fries just because she saw Emma eating them. Most of all, she didn’t want her mom finding out who she was spending time with.

One day Sienna was off to meet Emma at the mall and she almost let it slip.  

“Mom, I’m not going to be back for dinner. Just save some for me, okay?”

Sienna’s mom shot her a quizzical look.  

“Where are you going and who with?”  

“Mom. I’m going with people from my health class. We have to find alternate food choices in the mall. It's a whole thing, you wouldn’t get it.” She did her best to sound nonchalant, but slightly bit her lip, expecting her mom to quickly reject it. Instead, her mom shrugged and smiled.  

It didn’t come crashing down until much later on a clear Saturday afternoon. Emma had agreed to meet up at the track for an afternoon workout. She didn’t know that was the day Sienna chose to do it.  

Sienna matched her outfit carefully and fixed her hair one last time. She took an extra shot of hairspray to the hair and an extra breath before she left the house. At three o’clock sharp, Sienna walked up to the track with a plastic grocery bag held tightly to her chest. Inside was Emma's favorite soda, a pair of neon socks, and a card. A deep fear took her when she thought of what she revealed in the card, but she immediately chased the feeling with excitement.  

Sienna swung open the gate to the track and drank in every detail. She wanted to replay this day in her mind for the rest of her life. Sienna picked a seat in the second row of bleachers and didn’t stop clutching the bag to her chest. This was the day she’d get a sister.

The football team finished their practice as Sienna held vigil in the bleachers. She watched as the team managers cleared the field and gathered loose footballs. She watched the cross country team run through their warm up, workout, and cool down. There was but saw no sign of Emma. Finally, the sun began to sink, dragging Sienna’s hopes with it.  

“Where were you?” Sienna did her best to sound cool over the phone.  

“Ahh I’m sorry I meant to call! I didn’t remember if we had said to meet today or tomorrow, but I figured you’d just run on your own if I didn’t show. I had that thing I joined for volunteer hours. Remember? The Big Brother Big Sister club. I had to meet my ‘little sister’ and take her to our first event out together. She’s so cute! You’d like her!”

Sienna didn’t feel the exact moment her heart broke. She just knew the crack was there. 

“...little sister?” The words tasted sour in her mouth.

“Look Sienna, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. It was just a workout. I’m sure you ran faster without me anyways.” 

This wasn’t the way Sienna wanted to do it. She had it all planned out before and everything was ruined. Plus now, she had actual competition. Sienna had to act fast and secure what was rightfully hers. She almost choked on the words when she tried to speak.

“Emma.”  

She was convinced Emma could hear her heart pounding through the phone.  

“Can you keep a secret?”

Emma hesitated, but answered yes.

Sienna’s sighs ran deep through her lungs. She thought of the first day in class when Emma saved her and when they met again in gym--the beginning of memories that would always be theirs. She smiled.

“I have to confess, I didn’t even do the track workout.”