Bran Castle Correspondence

Dearest Jonathan (or would you rather Jon?),

First of all, please excuse my poor grasp of grammar. The english language is not my first tongue and as much as I try to practise I do not learn as quickly as I once did. It is regrettable that it happens to the very best of us. Secondly, it is a pleasure to finally make your acquaintance, in a digital form though it may be. I was directed towards your social media post by a young friend of mine who suggested that I should make contact with you. She is a delightful young lady who I has become very dear to my heart in recent years. Her gifts extend far beyond her mastery of computers. Not only is she charming and gracious, but also remarkably curvaceous. She has been, shall we say, close to me both figuratively and literally. Now don't get too carried away Jonathan, for I mean this in the truly platonic sense. Due to my very specific 'condition', I require certain assistances and considering my remote living situation, it makes the most sense for these assistants to be of the 'live-in' variety. I suppose you could say housekeeping really. She's the one who keeps the old place ticking over as it were, and a very thorough job she does of it too when one considers how sprawling the place is. The word I am searching for is 'attentive'... She is both attractive and attentive to the smallest details. A perfect woman. You would like her.

But enough talk of the fairer sex, Jonathan, and let's get down to brass tacks. I am currently in the most disagreeable position of having to downsize my estate. They say that the world, as I'm sure you will agree, is wasted on the young, but it is cruel to the old too, especially in these trying times. I made some investments in the past that have ultimately turned sour. War may generate money for some, but for others it is a gigantic waste of time and effort. It will truly grieve me to have to leave behind my ancestral home, my splendid grounds and aforementioned 'friends' but... It does not aid one to be idealistic. I am told that romance can still be found in the smaller, more humble walks of life, and that is why I am compelled to compose this 'electronic message' to your fine self. I understand you are the proprietor of a large selecting of smallholdings. I also understand that you pride yourself on discretion and confidentiality, and this is where, I must confess, my interest in your online advertisement was piqued. You see... I am a man of some... how shall I phrase this... I suppose some would call them individualisms. Others, perhaps eccentricities. Anyway, they are individualisms that I would rather remain covert. I trust that you understand. Of course you do... you are an Englishman after all.

Finally, I also request you will not burden me with your questioning, for I am old and if an old man cannot be entitled to his secrets, well...

I eagerly await your reply in haste,

Yours gratefully,

Vlad.

sent from my iPhone

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Good evening Vlad,

I appreciate the effort you went through to get hold of me. The Facebook posts I put up didn't seem to get much of a response so I was going to give up on it and go back the the old way of doing things, but clearly it works for some people. It's a good job your, (assistant is it) could help you. Send her my regards.

What sort of place are you looking for? The market is pretty saturated right now so it's a good time to buy. Terraces are usually pretty popular but we've got streets of them for sale right now without much uptake. You've got a lot of choice.

Although I'd guess you're probably in the market for something a bit more spacious? You said you had an estate? Can you give me a bit more info about your current property to help us find something suitable for you? I wouldn't like to offend with inferior suggestions. I have CC’d in my assistant Mina so that she can begin to narrow down the options for you.

Hope this finds you well,

Jon

Harker and Sons Estate Agency,

Whitby

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Promptest Jonathan,

I greatly appreciate the urgency with which you cast aside any doubts I had to your professionalism. A gentleman such as yourself fills one's heart with confidence. It is regrettably a most unfortunate virtue amongst the younger generation. Set your mind at ease, Jonathan, for I shall put in a good word for you with her. Do I hear wedding bells? I jest, but she comes from good blood Jonathan, truly. A very healthy, voluptuous young specimen. It seems to me that with this Mina in tow also you are not long for bachelorism. Anyhow, I in turn shall waste no time in outlining my specific housing requirements to you so you can hurry the conveyancing process along. For you see, my circumstances are rapidly changing for the worse. Every minute of the day there arises a new and development or two. It really is most disagreeable to my constitution. I will divulge what I feel is necessary to begin the proverbial ball rolling.

You see my... line of work... necessitates a rather rapid turnover of... associates. I am interested in variety you see, for my work is challenging and demands a wide spectrum of different types of folk. I transact with them, and then I make use of their services in-house for a time until it ultimately becomes necessary to curtail our arrangement and they leave (by the back door as it were). When I make someone my colleague I ask a lot of them. Some last only a scant few days in the role before becoming exhausted. Both mentally and physically, I add, for the role is all encompassing. They are offered a modest lodging in my estate but will often be called upon at any time of the day or night, for the wheels of business never stop rolling and I am always hungry for it. Just the other month I happened upon one poor creature trying to back out of the deal before our business was concluded. He was half way down the blasted curtain wall when I spied him from the parapet. He was paralysed a great distance above the bailey, the mite. I was feeling ravenous that night, I seem to recall, and had descended from my tower to satiate myself. It was all enormously fortuitous to be able to save his neck. I put a swift end to our dealing then and there of course. Well, as soon as I had plucked him from the seventh floor window, shaking like a shitting dog. A rare handful of associates I find to be more... hot blooded... and work their way into my favour for a longer time. But I'm sure we agree that magnificence requires sacrifice Jonathan. 

Here are my requirements for when my practice relocates to dear Blighty, Jonathan. I trust you have a pen and paper to hand. I will of course need to 'base myself' in an area of reasonable population density for the necessary downsize will render me unable to provide lodgings for colleagues. One of my associates informed me (before his contract ended) that Whitby or the area surrounding it would be a suitable place to start looking. From my limited research I gather that the community there are of good, Northern stock? Correct me if I am wrong Jonathan, I implore you, for I would prefer not to have to transact on the meagre offerings of commoners. It does not sit well with me. A reasonably blue-blooded populace is the second of my requests. The coastal aspect of your native Whitby also suits my requirements. Tell me, is there ample port? I do not fly. The very idea gives me conniptions. It is against all that is proper for a man to build his own wings and take flight. I will arrive by boat. Finally, and this is exceedingly vital, I ask that I can be met post-haste when I arrive. It should be you Jonathan. It must be you for, trifling as it might seem to you in these global times, I will be a foreigner and a foreigner's curse is to be lonely - at least for a time. I do not have time to spare being lonely. I must resume my business without delay or I will succumb to... destitution. It takes a lot of gall to admit this Jonathan but I feel I can confide in you.

I am sure I don't have to ask for you to ensure you look presentable when we meet. Of course you will, you are a true gentleman but I cannot abide beards. They are... unprofessional. Please shave.

Your friend,

Vlad

sent from my iPhone

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*-WhatsApp backup - July 2018*

*-User: Murraymint89 -*

*-Archived Message -*

*-11:03pm -*

Hi Jon, just checking you met him alright at the quay? I've been buried in paperwork and nearly forgot about you. Out at this time of night. Tried calling but I guess you're with him now. Msg me back as soon as you can. Mina x

*-WhatsApp backup - July 2018*

*-User: Murraymint89 -*

*-Archived Message -*

*-11:21pm -*

I've just had a text from his old housekeeper. M x

*-WhatsApp backup - July 2018*

*-User: Murraymint89 -*

*-Archived Message -*

*-11:21pm -*

Jon.. please call I'm worried.

*-WhatsApp backup - July 2018*

*-User: Murraymint89 -*

*-Archived Message -*

*-11:22pm -*

She says he is dangerous.