Dinner Date.

Driving down a dark desolate road at 1 am looking for my next victim while the miles passed by one after another. This ride is taking forever and I am highly considering turning around. I need someone a woman of the night, a hitchhiker, a hobo... someone. My blood thirst is insatiable. I need to slaughter in the same way as a junkie needs a hit.

Yet, here I am, unable to secure a nights worth of torture, blood, and guts. I’m just going to have to go home and fantasize about death, that alone is my torture. Not getting my fill makes me beyond angry, but it is what it is I suppose. I was just about to turn around when out of my peripheral vision I saw a glistening thumb in the pale moon light. A hitchhiker! My lucky day!

Geez, its been awhile since I’ve been walking out here, each car is scarce. Headlight after head light they pass me by. I just wish someone would pick me up already. Its scary out here in the dark for one and I have somewhere to be for two.

I feel rain starting to sprinkle a little and really hope this next car will pick me up because its beginning to look like it might be my last chance before I end up getting soaked. I hold out my thumb and hope for the best, when the kind soul was nice enough to pick me up! The persons truck stopped quickly almost the moment he saw me maybe, I don’t know.

I pull up next to the hitchhiker on the side of the road and reach over and manually roll down the passenger window. I look at the poor hitchhiker and say...

Me: Need a ride? (Of course he does.)

The truck pulls up next to me and awkwardly rolls down his window. He asks me if I need a ride as if I didn’t have my thumb out to begin with but beggars can’t be choosers! I’m grateful he was kind enough to stop. I try to look as non serial killer-ish as possible and respond with...

Me: Oh man! Thank you so much! I’ve been out here for hours!

I move towards his door and open it, and get in.

Yes! I got him in my truck! I can already feel the excitement of what’s to come, I’m salivating at the thought of devouring my prey. I just have to play it cool and get him back to my place. I notice some droplets on the windshield and use that as the perfect conversation starter.

Me: Good thing I came along when I did, looks like it’s starting to rain.

Me: I know right! Thank you so much! I really appreciate it bro!

We make small talk for awhile but things take an unexpected turn when I begin to notice he wasn’t exactly driving the direction I wanted to go. So I decided it best to call him out on it, something about him just doesn’t add up.

Me: What are you doing? This isn’t the way.

The hitchhiker informs me that im going the wrong way so It’s time I make a move. So I chloroform him quickly and nearly run myself off the road while I do it. He doesn’t struggle much and I push him onto the passenger floor board and journey to my place.

I’m not sure what happened but I come to in a strange location. I slowly stand up when The guy that picked me up walks into the room. Now I remember... That guy that picked me up, he drugged me!

I see that my victim is finally coming to, I would have tied him up but I kind of like to slowly break a person’s will and give them a false sense of hope. My place has no windows and many locks, completely sound proof. He won’t escape my clutches, no matter how hard he tries.

I’m still a bit wobbly when I go to stand up and look at him and laugh, I can’t help it. I’ve been that way since childhood. I always laugh in serious situations, and this situation is serious. He looks at me and questions curiously...

I’m more than a little puzzled with my meal, he wakes up in my house and the first thing he does is laugh at me. This peaks my curiosity and I just have to ask...

Me: Why are you laughing?

I suppose that now is a better time then ever to reveal my little secret. I mean why hold him in suspense? I wasn’t hitchhiking, as much as I was searching. I walking down that highway for what seemed like forever, just looking for the next kill. The next person dumb enough to give me a ride.

Me: I’m laughing because, I too am a killer, and im going to kill you.

Well, I didn’t see that coming. No matter, I have home field advantage and he has no weapons, is groggy and weak from the chloroform. I dash across the room ready to slay, knife in hand when he catches me by the throat and pins me to the bed. He pulls the knife from my hand and tightens his grip on my throat. With my last gasp of breath I manage to squeak out...

Me: Wait... I have an idea.

I must say, I did like this idea. What a tasty idea it was, I hold up my wine glass.

Me: Cheers!

Me: Cheers!

Our glasses clank together and we both take a sip of our wine.

Me: You taste delicious sir!

I smile and say...

Me: As do you.

In front on me is his lower leg, and I graciously carve into it. My left arm sits in front of him and I can’t help but smile at the irony of all of this. Together we feasted upon each others flesh. What a fine date this turned out to be.