Caturday

Caturday

 Interesting.

The human opened the door after I repeatedly requested that he do so. He stands behind me now with his hand on the doorknob. He seems impatient with me. Of course, I don’t care.

Standing with my front legs outside and my rear legs inside is good. I feel some warmth from the house and the cool, fresh air from outside. I would like to go outside to hunt for mice or birds, but the couch is very soft and, as much as I hate to say it, I do enjoy being with the humans.

Being outside is fun, but it is not fun when the little birds dive-bomb me. I think some of those big birds eat cats, but I don’t know for sure. Cars are bad for cats. I stay away from the road, except when there are June bugs. June bugs are too much fun when they get upside-down on the road at night and spin around.

What the… well, I never! The human just pushed me out with his foot and shut the door. I guess I’m outside now. I need to lick my fur for a minute. The human’s foot mussed it up. My mom told me and the others that it’s important to keep our fur nice.

The sun feels good on my fur. The warmth is making me sleepy. I’m going to go to that spot next to the house and have a little nap before I make the rounds of my property. There. That feels nice. I’ll just close my eyes for a moment…

…what? Oh, dear Lord! That stupid dog from next door is sniffing my butt. Stop! I got him pretty good with my claws. He’ll keep his distance for a while. Having one’s butt sniffed is not a good way to wake up from an afternoon nap. Ask anybody.

Time for a stretch. Now a little more fur grooming. There. I think I’ll go check out the garden. Wait! There’s a truck in the driveway. It must have come when I was sleeping. There’s a human coming out of the truck. Is he going to chase me? No, he’s going up to the front door. He has a big box. I love boxes! But only when they’re empty. Now he’s going back to the truck. I have to keep out of the way. Trucks are bad for cats.

The truck is gone. I’m going to walk down to the garden. Maybe I’ll see a mouse or a gopher. I think I see something! It just ran into a little hole. I’ll go over there and wait for it to come out again. Or, I might have another nap. It is hard to stay awake.

Oh! I’m awake again. It’s very windy. It is also loud with that thunder sound. I still don’t see the mouse. I think I’d better get up and, oh no! Is that rain? It is. Well, I’ll just go back to the house and, oh no! It’s pouring! I’m getting soaked. I’m running as fast as I can. There’s the back door. The man human is there holding it open!

I’m in! Just in time. I’m cold! I have to shake. There. That was a good one. Now, the human is wet too. There’s the girl human. She has a towel. She picks me up and wraps it around me. Usually, I hate that kind of thing but right away I start to feel warmer. She carries me into the room where my couch is. We sit down together and she’s talking really nice to me. I think I’ll purr for a while. She seems to like that. I’m getting sleepy again. She’s petting my head and my neck. It’s nice. As long as she keeps her big human hands away from my belly. So sleepy.

She’s getting up. I have to hop down onto the floor. I’m not very wet anymore, but I need a lot of grooming, so I get to work licking my fur. Partway through I take a fur ball break. I cough about twenty times before gagging the fur ball onto the floor. I look up and both the humans are staring at me and making weird faces. I go back to work grooming. The man human comes in with a paper towel and makes a big deal about picking up the fur ball. Humans!

When I’m finally done fixing my fur, I look into the dining room and I see a box on the floor. It is the box the truck guy brought to the house. I walk in slowly. I sniff it. The lid has corners and I rub my cheek scent glands on it so everybody will know it is my box. I hear the humans encouraging me to jump in, but I have a policy about not doing what they want me to do until some time has passed. So, I sit down next to the box.

Then, when I can’t stand the suspense anymore, I hop in. It is a very good box. They toss in a toy that is a plastic ball with a bell in it. I bat it around in the box. It is very fun. Then the humans shut the lid flaps. It gets dark. I bat at the lid. The man human pushes his finger into the box and I bat at it. He yells. Maybe I shouldn’t have used my claws. Oh well.

Later they open the lid again and reach in to pet me. I bat at them, but without claws. Then I hop out and find my catnip mouse and hop back into the box with it. They start making sounds like I’m some sort of cat genius, but it’s not a big deal. I knew what I wanted, and I made it happen.

I stay in the box and have a little nap. As I fall asleep, I think about the humans. They were pretty nice to me today. The man human helped me go outside and then let me back in when it was raining. The girl human held me in the towel, and both of them gave me the box. Pretty soon it will be time for my food, too.

I have to say that humans are nice. A lot nicer than dogs. Humans don’t sniff your butt.